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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 23:14 
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WTB wrote:
Check out this North Korean anti-American/anti-capitalism propaganda film. It's completely spot on.

The person who posted it on reddit said "the lie is more truthful than the truth".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Irw7SRv-l44&feature=plcp

[edit: Some speculation that it may not be a hoax, but it's still good...]


I so want to believe this is genuine because that would be amazing. Which pretty much guarantees that it's a hoax doesn't it? :(


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 23:17 
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metalangel wrote:
Is everyone getting hammered tonight or something?


I am! Dinner with my folks at one of the best restaurants in Glasgow for my mum's birthday then packed them off to their posh hotel and came to the local pub for comics and beer (and you clowns).


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 23:56 
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I'm sitting around wallowing in my newfound loneliness. Pretty sure she doesn't even have a signal where she is because she's hasn't texted me since landing in Johannesburg this morning. :(


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 0:26 
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metalangel wrote:
Is everyone getting hammered tonight or something?


No. Unless Peter Sutcliffe had been released.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:44 
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Aim: Test the tolerance of your digestive system when suffering with a upset stomach.

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Results: Raw data is still being frequently released from my anus. Could possibly be splitting the shit atom here.

Conclusion: I'll have a simple lunch before eating the leftovers at teatime, as I'd hate to be sharting Higgs Bosons out at the kids party this afternoon.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:17 
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Is it possible to get depth data from an ultrasound machine?

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:18 
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MaliA wrote:
Is it possible to get depth data from an ultrasound machine?

Yes.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:19 
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Grim... wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Is it possible to get depth data from an ultrasound machine?

Yes.


Can I have £5,000? I have an idea.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:23 
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Monkeyforestmonkeyforestmonkeyforest!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:27 
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Gogmagog

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You could attach a 3D printer to an ultrasound machine and 3D print bits of your insides. It'd be awesome.

EDIT: Eg, on valentines day "I give you my heart" etc.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:28 
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WTB wrote:
I'm sitting around wallowing in my newfound loneliness. Pretty sure she doesn't even have a signal where she is because she's hasn't texted me since landing in Johannesburg this morning. :(


It's okay, she's just having sex with interesting foreign men.

Now man the fuck up and stop wallowing you numpty. You will miss these days of freedom one day, trust me!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:47 
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It's alright, my good buddy is coming down tonight and we're going on the lash in York.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:57 
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Curiosity wrote:
WTB wrote:
I'm sitting around wallowing in my newfound loneliness. Pretty sure she doesn't even have a signal where she is because she's hasn't texted me since landing in Johannesburg this morning. :(


It's okay, she's just having sex with interesting foreign men.

Now man the fuck up and stop wallowing you numpty. You will miss these days of freedom one day, trust me!

Trust him.

And buy a new TV.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:04 
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:D


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:25 
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DavPaz wrote:
Monkeyforestmonkeyforestmonkeyforest!

Bah, you should have come with us!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:48 
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Grim... wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
Now man the fuck up and stop wallowing you numpty. You will miss these days of freedom one day, trust me!

Trust him.

And buy a new TV.


And when she comes back, have sex on the stairs.

My brother in law's fiancée has just gone away for a three month holiday, while he stays at home and works. She did this two years ago, too. Always struck me as a little bit weird. Two weeks, fair enough, but three months?

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:51 
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Like a proper holiday as well? Mrs Bulge is there for work experience/CV pimping, mainly. As well as the amazing experience part of it, but it ain't a holiday! So yeah, that is very odd.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:58 
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Worst

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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You're married?

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 13:00 
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No way! Miss Bulge, then? That still wouldn't make sense though. Er, "our lass".


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 13:33 
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WTB wrote:
Like a proper holiday as well? Mrs Bulge is there for sex, mainly. As well as the amazing experience part of it, but it ain't a holiday! So yeah, that is very odd.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 13:36 
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:'(!!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 13:58 
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To celebrate Bastille day I've bought David Millar's autobiography, and we went for lunch where I had a lamb kebab.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 14:40 
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I am sure that it will be her intention to stay faithful. Even as the adrenaline surges through her, and giggling dementedly, she binge drinks and knocks back shots. She'll be telling her friends how special you are as they accept a drink from the 'good looking fella' at the bar. As she staggers on to the dance floor and feels Kevin the builder's engorged manhood jabbing into her bottom, throughout the Lionel Richie medley, she will be thinking 'It can't hurt, it's only flirting. What he doesn't know can't hurt him'. Outside the bar, barely able to stand, she will be explaining, in that slightly pompous way, that she has a boyfriend and that Kev is being very naughty putting his hands up her top like that. Then she will feel his breath against her neck, the warm night air will force the alcohol to surge through her body and the next thing she remembers will be the slow rhythmic slap of Kevin's pelvis against her arse and the faint sensation of humiliation and pleasure as he drunkenly slaps her behind slurring 'yeah c**t. Ah, yeah, you bitch'. Desperate to please she will allow him to place his blunt sadness in her mouth, explore the darkness of her skull, and accept his desiccated DNA against the back of her parched and gagging throat. As he wipes his penis on the cheap linen of his cheap bed in his institutionalized holiday box in the sun above the Adelphos Fish and Chip Palace, and lurches to the bathroom with the words 'I need a p*ss', she will feel the sobering effects of shame and the promise she made to the man who trusted her.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 14:42 
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On the plus side, you'll have a new TV.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 14:44 
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Bobbyaro wrote:
I am sure that it will be her intention to stay faithful. Even as the adrenaline surges through her, and giggling dementedly, she binge drinks and knocks back shots. She'll be telling her friends how special you are as they accept a drink from the 'good looking fella' at the bar. As she staggers on to the dance floor and feels Kevin the builder's engorged manhood jabbing into her bottom, throughout the Lionel Richie medley, she will be thinking 'It can't hurt, it's only flirting. What he doesn't know can't hurt him'. Outside the bar, barely able to stand, she will be explaining, in that slightly pompous way, that she has a boyfriend and that Kev is being very naughty putting his hands up her top like that. Then she will feel his breath against her neck, the warm night air will force the alcohol to surge through her body and the next thing she remembers will be the slow rhythmic slap of Kevin's pelvis against her arse and the faint sensation of humiliation and pleasure as he drunkenly slaps her behind slurring 'yeah c**t. Ah, yeah, you bitch'. Desperate to please she will allow him to place his blunt sadness in her mouth, explore the darkness of her skull, and accept his desiccated DNA against the back of her parched and gagging throat. As he wipes his penis on the cheap linen of his cheap bed in his institutionalized holiday box in the sun above the Adelphos Fish and Chip Palace, and lurches to the bathroom with the words 'I need a p*ss', she will feel the sobering effects of shame and the promise she made to the man who trusted her.


Fantastic. But she's in South Africa at a wildlife reserve, not Benidorm.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 14:45 
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TheVision wrote:
On the plus side, you'll have a new TV.


:DD :DD :DD :DD

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 15:41 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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You need to get yourself an agent! After 50 Shades of Gray, publishers will lap that stuff up!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 15:46 
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WTB wrote:
Bobbyaro wrote:
I am sure that it will be her intention to stay faithful. Even as the adrenaline surges through her, and giggling dementedly, she binge drinks and knocks back shots. She'll be telling her friends how special you are as they accept a drink from the 'good looking fella' at the bar. As she staggers on to the dance floor and feels Kevin the builder's engorged manhood jabbing into her bottom, throughout the Lionel Richie medley, she will be thinking 'It can't hurt, it's only flirting. What he doesn't know can't hurt him'. Outside the bar, barely able to stand, she will be explaining, in that slightly pompous way, that she has a boyfriend and that Kev is being very naughty putting his hands up her top like that. Then she will feel his breath against her neck, the warm night air will force the alcohol to surge through her body and the next thing she remembers will be the slow rhythmic slap of Kevin's pelvis against her arse and the faint sensation of humiliation and pleasure as he drunkenly slaps her behind slurring 'yeah c**t. Ah, yeah, you bitch'. Desperate to please she will allow him to place his blunt sadness in her mouth, explore the darkness of her skull, and accept his desiccated DNA against the back of her parched and gagging throat. As he wipes his penis on the cheap linen of his cheap bed in his institutionalized holiday box in the sun above the Adelphos Fish and Chip Palace, and lurches to the bathroom with the words 'I need a p*ss', she will feel the sobering effects of shame and the promise she made to the man who trusted her.


Fantastic. But she's in South Africa at a wildlife reserve, not Benidorm.

Simply swap Kevin for Desmond Tutu.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 16:25 
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Squirt wrote:
You need to get yourself an agent! After 50 Shades of Gray, publishers will lap that stuff up!

I can't take credit for it, I am afraid. (I thought it a fairly common thing actually).

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 17:43 
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I'm not sure what it is about the ASDA car park, but it sure brings out the road rage in the over fifties towards me.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 20:27 
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We went to a 'welcome to the world' pirate-themed party today. Sainsburhys had The Kraken rum on offer. Destiny

Delicious d
Stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 22:16 
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That's gonna hurt in the morning...

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 22:27 
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Gogmagog

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It's exceedingly rare for me to read a whole book in one day, but I'd wholeheartedly recommend David Millar's "Racing through the Dark".

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 23:12 
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Gogmagog

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It's also a bitch I can't get a steroid nasal spray over the counter, and doctor is unwilling to prescribe it to me. I'm meant to be doing big off road stuff tomorrow and one nostril is almost blocked.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:03 
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Unpossible!

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Could someone spoiler alert the quantum thread please? Some of us haven't played portal 2 yet.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:02 
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DavPaz wrote:
Could someone spoiler alert the quantum thread please? Some of us haven't played portal 2 yet.


There are no Portal 2 spoilers in that thread. Also: what the hell are you talking about?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:05 
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Worst

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My name isn't Kevin :/

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:37 
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Goddess Jasmine wrote:
That's gonna hurt in the morning...
not great in the afternoon either.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:50 
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Honey Boo Boo

Joined: 28th Mar, 2008
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My left ear is mostly blocked, the right is okay. Doctor says I can have it syringed in a few weeks if it doesn't clear itself. Bleh.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 15:04 
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Pour olive oil in it.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 15:10 
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Then white wine vinegar in the other side, and vigorously shake your head about.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 15:16 
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Honey Boo Boo

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BikNorton wrote:
Pour olive oil in it.


That's what I've been doing. I still have the leftover dropper bottle from the last time this happened, which I think (combined with my upcoming flight) that he's relented and agreed to get me syringed. He says the medical profession keeps changing its mind about how they deal with ears... before they'd use drops, then they would syringe all the time, now they're back to drops as they've decided syringing should only be done if other attempts fail.

The Otex drops haven't done much good, after letting them crackle away for a while and then using the water bulb they come with, not much happens.

My dad tells me I always had waxy ears, even from a young age. I also used to suffer a lot from infections and had operations to install grommets to allow drainage as it was impacting my hearing and also speech development.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 15:48 
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.. and you kept saying "eh" all the time too. Never forget that.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 15:54 
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I used to love using Otex, I had regular wax troubles and it was far more pleasant than syringing.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 17:04 
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Meh

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Mine was totally blocked and he gave me a prescription for a spray. I had used drops for ages but it had not worked, whatever was in the spray cleared it in two sprays.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 19:23 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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I used to love having my ears syringed as a kid. I'd always argue there was nothing wrong, we'd go to the docs and a load of crud would come out my ears, and I'd suddenly be able to hear birdsong. In Africa.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 19:49 
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Slightly Brackish

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ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
I used to love having my ears syringed as a kid. I'd always argue there was nothing wrong, we'd go to the docs and a load of crud would come out my ears, and I'd suddenly be able to hear birdsong. In Africa.

Yeah, that was a good part, but you get that with Otex too when a key part of the blockage fizzes its way out. Similar to "I don't need new glasses, I can see fine with these" until you have your eye test and get a new pair with a slightly tinkered prescription and go "whoa, I forgot things have edges".

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 20:35 
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Craster wrote:
Then white wine vinegar in the other side, and vigorously shake your head about.

No, balsamic. And get some good bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 20:46 
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Honey Boo Boo

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I fear I may be beyond the help of Otex. Having let it fizz interminably for the last few days and then tried my syringing bulb thing I didn't really get much of a result.

As for eyes, well, I had them checked about six months ago and was told I was fine, well within the 'driving standard'. I couldn't help but think of the time I tried on someone's glasses (DocG and the Egg will know who I'm referring to) and they were so powerful that I could suddenly read the fine print on a menu on the other side of the Wetherspoon's.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 35
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 20:49 
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Huh, eyes. You'll miss them after a syrup maddened hillbilly gouges them out with his icicled up matted beard. Frost heeb.

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