Hullo, it wiz meant tae be Wullie daein' this weeks collection but since he's been plantin' folk up on Rannoch Moor all week we've had tae haul him in for questioning. In short, we believe that... there's been a murder!
Here's what intelligence we've skimmed from the forum so far...
Folk are still running rampage with unlicensed firearms in a "game" they call
Gears of War 3. We've taken a note of your names, expect a visit soon.
Our colleagues sooth o' the border are still having bother wi' the
tinkers, but MaliA got his
wish.
The boyracers have taken the rather sensible move of
forming a car club & moving on to track racing. Thank Christ, we were getting tired of "chasing" you in your wee shitey Novas, they never presented much of a challenge even if we were in the big heavy riot van.
Some of you are planning to visit the denizens that inhabit "
the big hoose".
This months
AA meeting will be on the 26th.
Some joker's
digging up deid folk in cities around the UK & chasing people with them, sounds like a hoax but we'll need to investigate anyway.
The tannoy on our van reckons 2011 is the
best year for games ever!
There was a
mass orgy in one of our public conveniences. Names have been taken, I hope none of you are politicians.
A new game mode for
curb crawlers.
The
huge battle that's been raging on for ages is drawing to a conclusion, we're standing by to arrest the battered losers.
More murder!
Dealers are slowly releasing
a new drug* into the forum's circulation, we have no idea if it's as addictive as heroin coated pringles, but rest assured we'll find out.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci9jA_4O3GIOf course being a polis isn't without it's funny sides, here's this week's wee crackers...
PC Dave's phone is still
ripping the pish out him.
PC Malc74 got to the heart of
what BR are good at.
PC Kalmar gives PC Dave advice on
how to stay warm this winter.
PC Malc74
serenades PC Grim....
PC Alberto gives advice on
risk avoidance.
PC Malabelm knows PC MaliA all too well.
& last but not least WPC Mimi
sings us a song.
Several thankyous to Trooper, Plissken, Zardoz, MaliA, flis, DavPaz, Doctor Glyndwr & TheVision for assisting us in our investigation.