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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:41 
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Bread lands butter side down, cats always land on their feet. I'm sure you're all aware of the possibility of attaching a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back thus creating a perpetually spinning device, but, the question is, is the bread important? Would simply applying butter to a cat's back cause the same effect?


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:43 
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Yes, butter is the key here, bread products don't come into it!


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:46 
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Joans wrote:
Bread lands butter side down, cats always land on their feet. I'm sure you're all aware of the possibility of attaching a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back thus creating a perpetually spinning device, but, the question is, is the bread important? Would simply applying butter to a cat's back cause the same effect?

Why would it spin?

Neither buttered bread or cats have commutators. It would move 90 degrees and stop.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:48 
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I see your point, but more importantly, is the bread relevant?


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:50 
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I think it might be... if you drop a tub of butter on the floor it doesn't necessarily land butter down, so the bread must be influencing something?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 23:54 
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Alberto wrote:
I think it might be... if you drop a tub of butter on the floor it doesn't necessarily land butter down, so the bread must be influencing something?

This is more like it. If it was just the butter, you could sneak a pat of butter into a casino and create your own loaded dice.


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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 0:43 
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It's not bread. It has to be toast.

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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 0:49 
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I just had buttered toast.

I think I solved this entire problem by not dropping my buttered toast. Also, by not using butter but a cheap butter substitute that spreads directly from the fridge.

I didn't even want toast, but my bread was frozen, and apparently defrosting a single slice of bread on a warm day takes FOUR HOURS, or so I am reliably misinformed.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 0:50 
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It's always about the bread.

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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 0:55 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

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Here is my proposed experiment:

1) make möbius strip of bread
2) toast möbius bread
3) butter the only side of the möbius toast
4) drop buttered möbius toast

Prediction: universe implodes.

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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:15 
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Mimi wrote:
apparently defrosting a single slice of bread on a warm day takes FOUR HOURS, or so I am reliably misinformed.


It's probably quicker to use a microwave.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:07 
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Mimi wrote:
Here is my proposed experiment:

1) make möbius strip of bread
2) toast möbius bread
3) butter the only side of the möbius toast
4) drop buttered möbius toast

Prediction: universe implodes.

Does Brian Cox know about this? It could render his hardon collider obsolete.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:09 
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Warhead wrote:
render his hardon


:hat:

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:11 
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I know wot I wrote.

I have a sudden urgent need for toast, so I shall have some and see if it levitates itself above the plate if I flip it over after buttering


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:13 
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Longines Symphonette wrote:
Mimi wrote:
apparently defrosting a single slice of bread on a warm day takes FOUR HOURS, or so I am reliably misinformed.
It's probably quicker to use a microwave.
Not as much as you'd think - a single slice of bread will defrost in 10-15 minutes* when left on the worktop, and microwaves only effectively agitate liquid-state water molecules, so you've got to wait for it to start defrosting naturally before the microwaves can kick in properly anyway, and a slice of bread is shallow and uniformly frozen which is important for a reason I can't quite put my finger on just now.

But anyway, microwave defrosting is very risky business because when it does finally take off it quickly goes past "defrosted bread" to "ew cardboard," particularly in low-slice-multiple quantities.

* 4 hours WOT :!:


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:16 
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Mmm, toast.

This is the full extent of my scientific contribution, at this time.


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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 13:24 
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BikNorton wrote:
Longines Symphonette wrote:
Mimi wrote:
apparently defrosting a single slice of bread on a warm day takes FOUR HOURS, or so I am reliably misinformed.
It's probably quicker to use a microwave.
Not as much as you'd think - a single slice of bread will defrost in 10-15 minutes* when left on the worktop, and microwaves only effectively agitate liquid-state water molecules, so you've got to wait for it to start defrosting naturally before the microwaves can kick in properly anyway, and a slice of bread is shallow and uniformly frozen which is important for a reason I can't quite put my finger on just now.

But anyway, microwave defrosting is very risky business because when it does finally take off it quickly goes past "defrosted bread" to "ew cardboard," particularly in low-slice-multiple quantities.

* 4 hours WOT :!:


And with this I conclude that this is yet another disagreement which I have proved victorious in.

I said single slice, warm day: 10 minutes.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 13:28 
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kalmar wrote:
Mmm, toast.
Hm. At no point have I had toast urges.

I think that's something else broken, then.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 13:29 
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Mimi wrote:

And with this I conclude that this is yet another disagreement which I have proved victorious in.

I said single slice, warm day: 10 minutes seconds.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 13:30 
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Toast is only a canvas for bacon.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 16:35 
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Instead of using buttered toast, consider using toasted (on one side only) butter.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 16:44 
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Alarm wrote:
Instead of using buttered toast, consider using toasted (on one side only) butter.


Deep fried butter.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 20:41 
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Who cares? If it makes a spinning cat you could stick a dynamo up it's arse & generate electricity!

Wonder if they'd let us patent that?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 21:30 
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Joans wrote:
Bread lands butter side down, cats always land on their feet. I'm sure you're all aware of the possibility of attaching a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back thus creating a perpetually spinning device, but, the question is, is the bread important? Would simply applying butter to a cat's back cause the same effect?

Is the cat's back dead and alive simultaneously?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 21:56 
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Like Joan Rivers?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:57 
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Why is the cat so important? It be much easier just to butter both sides of the toast.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:01 
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Bluecup wrote:
Why is the cat so important? It be much easier just to butter both sides of the toast.


Again, it would just drop, and spin slightly before settling at a point sideways on to the floor on the thin edge of the crust.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:12 
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What happens if you toast your bread, soak it in melted butter, mould it into a perfect sphere, freeze it, butter it, and then drop it?


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:13 
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No idea, but I'm sure as hell willing to find out.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:17 
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How about a Dodecahedron made from buttered toast with the buttered sides turned out?


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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:23 
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Wullie wrote:
Who cares? If it makes a spinning cat you could stick a dynamo up it's arse & generate electricity!

Wonder if they'd let us patent that?

I believe you'll find this is the power system behind Kalmar's latest mode of transport

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:24 
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My preferred propulsion method is to tie Craster to the back of a handcart and keep dropping live grenades just behind him.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:28 
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Fill the cart with grenades and have him drop them himself and you've got Orion, so he must've been right all along.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:31 
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Get a time cube, right, and then fill it with 0-dimensional butter.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:42 
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This relies on the premise that toast always lands butter side down.

For the banishment of further amusement I must emphatically state that it does not.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:44 
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Longines Symphonette wrote:
This relies on the premise that toast always lands butter side down.

For the banishment of further amusement I must emphatically state that it does not.
Murphy's Law quite clearly states that it does. However, Murphy's Law also operates on Murphy's Law, ensuring that any attempt to measure or exploit it also goes awry. Washing your car will not end a drought.


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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:49 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Washing your car will not end a drought.


Unless of course you confidently state that to someone washing their car in a drought, because at that point you become subject to Murphy's law, and the rain starts.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:52 
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What if you put the buttered toast on a treadmill and turn its engines on - will it take off?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:52 
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I've made a hovercat by buttering its arse.

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 Post subject: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:18 
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kalmar wrote:
Get a time cube, right, and then fill it with 0-dimensional butter.

Is the time cube made of bread?

Is it toasted?

Is it buttered?

Is the cat both alive and dead at the same time?

Are the inside surfaces buttered?

You leave too many questions.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:24 
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Imagine the buttered toast as a big sheet of rubber...

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:28 
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Plissken wrote:
Imagine yourself buttered, on a big sheet of rubber...

Yes... keep talking...

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:10 
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And then you get hold of a couple of big heavy balls...

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:12 
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Yes... they're smooooooth and ovoid...

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:22 
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The balls are also toasty and buttery.

And then they deform the rubber sheet.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:27 
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oooooooooooooh... deformed rubber...

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:49 
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So they all roll around the universe and the sticky butter ends up all over everything.

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:51 
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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 13:03 
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But surely we're missing the important point - do we attach the magnets to the toast or the cat?

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 Post subject: Re: Important Science Question!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 13:14 
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baron of techno

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Mimi wrote:
kalmar wrote:
Get a time cube, right, and then fill it with 0-dimensional butter.

Is the time cube made of bread?

Is it toasted?

Is it buttered?

Is the cat both alive and dead at the same time?

Are the inside surfaces buttered?

You leave too many questions.


1) It is made of both cake and biscuit at the same time.

2) It is toasted.

3/4) The cat has eaten the butter and been sick.

5) Ask Zardoz.


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