Stop it, Z.
I really, really like you. You seem like a lovely guy, but this relationship is destructive for both of you.
Be angry. She's chucked you out of your flat. She has issues witht he attention you have to,
must give to your beautiful, beautiful daughter, who is the most perfect thing in your life. And she smells of stinky stinky smoke. I know you keep saying you envisioned spending the rest of your lives together, but you wouldn't. It wouldn't happen. You would, at best, have spent about 30% of your lives together, the rest of the time you wouldn't be speaking to each other and you'd be chucked out on your bum until next time she gave the puppy dog eyes. Each time you break up it is worse than the time before. Each time more 'final'. Each time the 'last'. You have for this past year or more been spending less and less time 'together'. You can extend the cycle into ever declining misery or jump step aside now with some remaining energy and sense of self and independence.
And most of the above I mean in terms of
both of you. I am sure she is not some overarching bitch monster at all, but as we all are more familiar with your thoughts and feelings it is hard not to sympathise more with you (apart from your frankly nasty bout of destroying her property, where you know you way overstepped that line). But stop just sweeping all of that under the carpet. It's Ok to say 'what's in the past is in the past' now and again, but this cycle is so frequent that it is never in the past, it is always approaching over the horizon and as such it is always in the present.
Honestly, I think being angry is something that you are not only entitled to but which is actually helpful right now.
I'm not saying never to be friends, but BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Danger, Will Robinson! Get thee away from the source of thy problems for a bit, yes? I mean, a
good while. Then see how things go.
I know I basically said this last time you asked for advice. As did a LOAD of other people, and you listened and dutifully nodded and agreed, but pulled by the dual magnetic force of heart and penis
went back there, whilst the brain was idling in neutral. So, yeah, you'll probably ignore this too. But at least read what everyone has said, and maybe print it out, and refer to it in a couple of months and see where you are.
You're a lovely, lovely guy, Zio, but instances such as your mad angry smashy phone deleting rant the other week prove that this cycle is starting to make you less so. Do all the things Gilly says and get a
real time out. And try not to get anyone pregnant in the meantime, eh?