Malabar Front wrote:
Do you re-read what you've written before you post, JC? Perhaps doing so would solve whatever issue you seem to be having, given most of your longer posts come across as a complete stream of consciousness. I have to admit, if I see a post of yours longer than a couple of paragraphs I've been conditioned to switch off and skip them, such is the way you never seem to get to any sort of point.
Edit: I typed out and backed away about six times. I don't mean any offense in there.
No it's fine. Usually when I post long posts that are serious they are quite coherrant. But of course, when you fuck up all the time people will just see it as more of the same. Clarity is something I rarely have. Maybe these pills are finally actually doing something? I don't know. It's days like these where I can actually sit down and try to make sense of things. I suppose this is why I am deemed as being mentally ill, because for the most part it just doesn't happen.
What causes it of course is when people take me to task. In most cases I will try to explain it but how do you? When your brain doesn't function normally how the hell do you explain it?
Honestly Malabar I am fully aware of how I come accross. I am fully aware of how I irritate people and piss them off. I wish at times I didn't have that ability because I have no intention of causing ill feelings. Infact, it was only recently when some one pointed out to me that Chinny had me on ignore that I stopped trying to have a conversation with him.
As for offending me? TBH that's pretty impossible. When you cause offence all the time you would be a
complete cunt to take offense at what is said back.
When I was growing up I had this friend who was an alcoholic. He was drinking at 12 (vodka in his panda pop at school). He used to come to my house (usually around midnight) wake the entire street, smash things up and shout out offensive things until me and my brother could bundle him into a cab and pack him off home. He was still doing it two days before I left for America when he came to my house and threw all of my clothes in the wardrobe out of the window.
The fucked up part of course was that I kept opening the door for him. He never apologised to me for his actions nor my mother and brother who also had to put up with it. Yet at no point did I ever just pretend not to be there.
Wogan. If you want to pick me apart? that's fine. Seriously. But the problem is when that happens things will just get really confusing as I struggle sometimes to see what it is people are trying to say.