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 Post subject: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:04 
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National Insurance will go up by a further 0.5p from 2011 and public sector workers face a 1% pay squeeze, Alistair Darling has announced.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8402769.stm

Oh good, because my household has plenty of spare cash.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:06 
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Reading on, it's only if you earn more than £20,000 a year. So good, just another job tax, then.

Quote:
He also unveiled a one-off tax on bank bonuses over £25,000

Is that even legal?

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:07 
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Don't worry - they're cutting Bingo duty by 2% - that should make up the difference. WTF? There's a Bingo duty?

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:08 
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Grim... wrote:
Reading on, it's only if you earn more than £20,000 a year. So good, just another job tax, then.

Quote:
He also unveiled a one-off tax on bank bonuses over £25,000

Is that even legal?


And not just banks that have had UK government money, either! Which is frankly astonishing.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:10 
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I would have thought there are a load of anti-discrimination laws that say you can't target people because of what they do.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:12 
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Grim... wrote:
I would have thought there are a load of anti-discrimination laws that say you can't target people because of what they do.


Well, they're not actually taxing the bankers. They're taxing the banks based on the size of their bonus pool. So basically if RBS want to award their £1.5bn bonus pool next year, it'll cost them £0.75bn in extra taxes. Which is definitely a good way of returning them to profitability.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:13 
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Oh, and the 50p broadband tax is in there, too.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:13 
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Cras Cringle wrote:
Oh, and the 50p broadband tax is in there, too.


Oh, jesus christ >:(

On the plus side though: "Green initiatives in the report included tax rebates for electric cars"


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:14 
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The what now?! Broadband tax?!

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:16 
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He also announced that if you pay monthly tax on ten or more items, you get a free bonus tax!

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:17 
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I heard that if you've got legs they're imposing a pavement tax for using them.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:19 
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I heard that Alistair Darling went into a restaurant and taxed everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:19 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
The what now?! Broadband tax?!


Yup. Everyone pays 50p a month on top of their broadband, then the government gives all that money to BT and says "Go wire up Briddlington-Under-Codpiece".

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:21 
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Actually it's "anyone with a fixed line" that has to pay the tax, whether you have broadband or not.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:22 
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Oh, wow. That's incredible.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:22 
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Cras Cringle wrote:
Everyone pays 50p a month on top of their broadband, then the government gives all that money to BT and says "Go wire up Briddlington-Under-Codpiece".
I'm not sure I'm opposed to this. Now BT are a private firm and not operating under public charter, I don't see how else you get them to invest in unprofitable infrastructure.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:23 
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The broadband tax is worse than it sounds! Apparently it's a £6 levy on households with a fixed landline, presumably whether they use broadband or not. Also, it's not clear whether it's £6 per household or £6 per household per landline.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:23 
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The Beeb usually have a Budget Calculator on their website.

This year they're going to do away with it, and just have a big page saying:

"Are you alive? Then you're worse off."

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:24 
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If you want decent infrastructure services, don't live in the boonies. Unless everyone who lives on a decent sized plot of land wants to pay for me to have a dedicated parking space and a good-sized garden.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:31 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
The what now?! Broadband tax?!


They'll be taxing on lung capacity and air breathed per annum soon FFS.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:31 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
I heard that if you've got legs they're imposing a pavement tax for using them.


Taxman! Hang on, thats not the right lyrics dimmers.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:32 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Cras Cringle wrote:
Everyone pays 50p a month on top of their broadband, then the government gives all that money to BT and says "Go wire up Briddlington-Under-Codpiece".
I'm not sure I'm opposed to this. Now BT are a private firm and not operating under public charter, I don't see how else you get them to invest in unprofitable infrastructure.


I'm not sure what is supposed to be being paid for here. There are vanishingly few exchanges left which don't have ADSL.

The bigger problem here is the small exchanges where BT is in a monopoly position (the non-LLU ones, like mine), abusing that position by jacking the price up even though the infrastructure is already there and well used, and profitable. Giving them more money doesn't seem like the answer to this.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:32 
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Clausiosity wrote:
The Beeb usually have a Budget Calculator on their website.

This year they're going to do away with it, and just have a big page saying:

"Are you alive? Then you're worse off."


And another page to accompany it saying "if your going to die , do it quickly or else it'll cost more"


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:33 
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But Gordon has A Vision! A Vision of everyone connected to the inderned all fast like and your gran will have it and everything.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:33 
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fucking hell, Darling.

I wanted you to do one fucking thing and that was scrap the Electronic Prescription Service project (and thus save me a ton of fucking work) and instead you fuck about with boilers, bingo and this shit in Afghanistan.

Stupid eyebrow cunt.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:34 
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I'll pay 50p broadband tax if it stops the fuckers from throttling my connection.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:34 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
But Gordon has A Vision! A Vision of everyone connected to the inderned all fast like and your gran will have it and everything.


And in that vision after you've been connected for 5 minutes your disconnected for file sharing and excluded from ever using teh interwebs again for being naughty


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:35 
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Well obviously we can't have unrestricted access and stuff. Everyone will be monitored for deviant behaviour.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:36 
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Only the deviants have anything to fear Dimrill.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:36 
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On a big database run by Bluce_Ree.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:37 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
Well obviously we can't have unrestricted access and stuff. Everyone will be monitored for deviant behaviour.


Or everyone will be allocated a deviant behaviour and then expected to meet the correct criteria for it.

If you dont like the one you've been given you can swap it with other people , the most popular ones seem to be related to washing windows ....


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:37 
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Well, they've sorted that burning bingo issue at least. And we'll be getting pay rises to cover in this fantastic economic climate....


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:37 
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Cras Cringle wrote:
Dimvinterblot wrote:
The what now?! Broadband tax?!


Yup. Everyone pays 50p a month on top of their broadband, then the government gives all that money to BT and says "Go wire up Briddlington-Under-Codpiece".


Good. I don't care if its 10 quid a month as long as it pays for fucking BT to fucking well pull their fucking fat fingers out and ensure I can get a fucking broadband speed that is fucking faster than 1 fucking fuck meg on a fucking good fucking day fuck fuck fuck.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:38 
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markh wrote:
Well, they've sorted that burning bingo issue at least. And we'll be getting pay rises to cover in this fantastic economic climate....


Tax on bingo wings wasn't it?


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:38 
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zaphod79 wrote:

And in that vision after you've been connected for 5 minutes your disconnected for file sharing and excluded from ever using teh interwebs again for being naughty


Should read:

And in that vision after you've been connected for 5 minutes you'll start paying a file sharing tax, a bandwidth throttling tax, an environmental tax (fatter pipe must surely mean more hazardous to the environment, right?)...

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:41 
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chinnyhill10 wrote:
markh wrote:
Well, they've sorted that burning bingo issue at least. And we'll be getting pay rises to cover in this fantastic economic climate....


Tax on bingo wings wasn't it?


Don't give them ideas, that's an untapped market.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:42 
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kalmar wrote:
On the plus side though: "Green initiatives in the report included tax rebates for electric cars"

Boiler scrappage strikes me as a good idea too, although I've not read into it at all.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:42 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
But Gordon has A Vision! A Vision of everyone connected to the inderned all fast like and your gran will have it and everything.


Yes but don't use it because anything you do on it is illegal.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:44 
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News just in: Darling implements 'sarcasm tax'. Internet explodes. More at ten.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:46 
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sinister agent wrote:
News just in: Darling implements 'sarcasm tax'. Internet explodes. Darling implements 'explosion tax' More at tax.


FTFY


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:47 
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Fuck. Along with the new cynicism tax I'm fucked.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:48 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
Fuck. Along with the new cynicism tax I'm fucked.


Wait 'til he implements his 'Making Up Words' Tax.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:48 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
The what now?! Broadband tax?!

Ecky THUMP!

Oh.. sorry, I thought you say Brassband tax.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:49 
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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:49 
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What about the dyslexics!?

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:50 
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Ginger tax FTW!

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:51 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
What about the dyslexics!?


I know. Miss Malabar is screwed, the fantastically dyslexic idiot.


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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:51 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
What about the dyslexics!?


the slysdexics take care of that.

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:54 
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Esoteric

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Good thing there's not a thread skimmer tax or I'd be pretty fucked eh?

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 Post subject: Re: National Insurance To Rise
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 16:54 
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Dimvinterblot wrote:
What about the dyslexics!?

Do we have to spell it out for you?

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