Be Excellent To Each Other

Brain still feels stupid (going to take me a while to write this) and a little bit tight, but feeling a lot, lot better.

I broke down this morning with feeling faint, shakes, couldn't think, could barely pick up a pen, really panicky and oh-god-whats-happening-to-me!? It really felt severe.

Booked an emergency appointment.

Went to see Doctor.

So, went down to Doctor's. He gave me a BP test, which turned out to be perfectly normal. Heart sounded fine. I described all my long standing symptoms, and what precisely happened. He said - and phew eh? - anxiety attack. He said that the other symptoms of mine, poundy heart, cold flushes, pins and needles, aches are sort of precursor symptoms for the full blown attack - and in my words I guess it's sort of like a fruit machine where if all the symptoms are flashing they unlock the next one and the next one and then DING DING DING! He asked me if I got excercise (one and a half hours walking a day and library keeps me on my toes). He asked me if I smoked. I felt tempted to reply, "Well if I did I'm sure I wouldn't be getting panic attacks." Drugs, nada, etc. Any history of heart disease in family? Nope. The Doc asked what I thought it might be - hrurm, some cardiac/circulatory problem say I. He then asked if I wanted a blood test, and that they flag up any cardiac problems whatsoever but said he thought I didn't really need one. I asked for one anyway, saying it'd put my mind at ease anyway. He said, "Ah, you'd think that's how it works wouldn't you?" So, blood test next week. But he said the BP being fine is a great okay sign and that his money was on an anxiety attack.

I still wasn't sure.

Then I gave my mum a call. Apparently she used to get them with pretty much the same symptoms, usually out of fear of the water. She reckons mine is through fear of me being ill - mortality and all that stuff. And then she gave me this amazing reassuring talk. She said that knowing that it's an anxiety attack won't just make it go away, that I'll keep feeling these things, but that I should just realise that it doesn't mean what the BBC loves to blare about, that I'm not going to have something go *pop* in my brain, and that I should just ride them - even dwell on them in a "this is what it is, an anxiety attack, you're feeling this now but later you'll be enjoying meal and movie later," sort of way. She told me that frequently they well up subliminally as well, so you can be having a great, relaxing time and suddenly you're feeling something odd, and then you're really feeling it - and then argh! Etc.So yeah, mum was fantastic - she had therapy, and had this all through teens (which I didn't) and her twenties, which I have. So it was a good 20 minute conversation. Mums are great aren't they? I love mums. And bonus news is that she also told me grandad has given her £50 to pop in my bank account. Hurrah for that!

So rather than bottling this up and dreading it, I'll wince through the events but embrace my subliminal arghness. Meanwhile, I ask Dixon, "Can we have meal and movie tonight, can we can we can we?"

Glad it's made you feel better having the talk with you're Mum.

I'm sure I've had panic attacks (going by how others have described them). Very strange sensation indeed, and like you mention above, you just have to ride them out (also quite a calming feeling as they pass). They've been very infrequent and I've never felt the need to see anyone about them, but wouldn't hesitate if they ever became a problem.

Saddle up!

Wow, cool mum! And of course you can - you've got £50 coming your way, you can splurge, man.

Yep, I had to have an ambulance called for me early last year for the same thing (I thought I was having a heart attack). The best advice I can give you is to try to convince yourself that your symptoms can't hurt you (they can't - there's no physical harm coming to you through anxiety). Just breathe deeply and try to distract yourself with something. I know it sounds a bit simplistic, but it's really the best method of dealing with it.

If you find that that's not working, the other alternative is beta blockers, but it should only be seen as a last resort.

-edit- do you drink coffee or anything else with caffeine in? I've found since cutting it out of my diet completely, the attacks have pretty much gone.

I had one of them anxiety attacks once - I was also sure there was something wrong with my heart and stuff, due to panicing and it going faster (which in turn made me panic more). Went to the doctor and she gave me a pill (possibly nothing in it at all, or possibly a valium, dunno)

But it's all in the mind - don't worry mate it'll be better soon and you'll go "what on earth was all that about".

Yeah, the hyperventilating can cause your extremities to tingle due to the increased oxygen in your bloodstream. This makes makes you think you're having a stroke or something. Anxiety is (not) really a funny thing.

Wowsers, ta guys!

I'm a long way from beta blockers thankfully - I find these things are coming in 'seasons' thinking about it - I sort of have a half week of being randomly assaulted with all these grim feelings, then a couple of weeks feeling fine with only the odd mild symptom or too. Only that heart rate seems to be the base line, which occurs regularily every day or so for about an hour or two a day.

I do drink tea actually, and sometimes coffee. About three cups of tea a day, or two coffee. I'll try cutting it out totally, see what happens. Fresh OJ will more than fill the gap. Ta for the advice Myp, and glad to hear that the 'Oh god heart attack!' thing is part of it, as I was worried thinking, "Well how can it be anxiety if I'm feeling this stuff in my heart?". Obviously not glad you had it, but glad you could tell me. Um.

Kalmar! Here's looking forward to the "What was that about?" thing. I shall try not to slip into my Northern accent and deliver it Peter Kaye style. "Anxiety attacks eh? Anxiety attacks? What's that about then? Eh? Remember? Ooh. Feeling a bit funny. Oooh. Feel I might die. Eh? Remember that? Eh? Remember? Eh? Remember? Eh? What was that about then, eh? Oooh. Oooh. Remember that? Oooh. Remember? What. Was. That. About? Really. Eh? Oooh. What if I die. Remember?

Remember?"

...

"You suck Peter Kaye! Boo-urns!" etc.

Remember when people used to shout that at me? Remember? Eh? Ooho, you suck. Remember? They shouted that at me. Remember? etc."

If you are having a panic attack, try not having a panic attack

Seriously, you will feel better soon, and we can rename you "no longer nervous pete, hoo boy, I really know what nervous means now, and it ain't me, that's for sure" - although that might not fit in the box.

Heh. I've has anxiety attacks on and off for years. Started in my late 20's when my father was dying. I took myself to casualty as I couldn't sleep and kept snapping awake every time I dozed off as it felt like my heart was stopping. Cold sweats, light headedness, shortness of breath, pins and needles in the left arm, ache in the chest. Had all the symptoms and they're neither subtle nor pleasant. It flares up from time to time but with me nowadays it seems to be more diet triggered than anything else.

Try and cut out or down on caffeine and sugar. Alcohol isn't great either.

Try looking into meditation as well - it's amazing how much you might benefit from half an hour a couple of times a week.

Also, get some more exercise - walking every day doesn't count really.

Check on caffine and sugar - alcohol... hrm, we shall see. And gagh, I keep busy, dun I? An hour and a half guv'nor! Hrm... okay, I'll see about that too.



Gosh, almost exact same for me, but no shortness of breath and pins and needles very lightly sweeping over back. That's oddly reassuring. Thanks!



Excellently I thought those exact same words on the way back from the Doctors! Bless you R&M

Now for the traditional Wednesday Meal & Movie with the Dixons. They has huge plasma screen. Yes.

You're breaking into an electronics retailer to watch a film on their TVs? That would probably cause panic attacks in me.

Without wanting to be the one 'downer' in here, do you think you should consider not driving until you feel better?

I don't even think Pete owns a car, does he?

I've been verging on anxiety attacks whilst driving before (mainly when tired and/or hungry), but managed to keep it together until I'd got home. In a perverse way, the distraction of driving was enough to keep me from going into full-blown panic.

It's probably not a good idea to get in the driver's seat if you're already feeling on edge, though.

"Pete' snoggin'" Would be a better topic.

I used to have them as a teenager, but when I was in a relationship where if something went wrong I was going to get a kicking for it (so with good reason then). In adult life I haven't really had any problems with them until last year (Oct?) when I had one 18 metres below water when diving (scary as fuck!) but I lived to tell the tale (and meet you in Cardiff ). The last few I've had seem to have been within the last six months and on waking from something, be that a nightmare or what I really don't know, the symptoms are too scary when I've just woken up to that!

Yup, it's okay. I don't own a car.

Though I do have a driver's license. And these things have build-ups to be as bad as the "Oh jeez! Shit, I'm dying!" feeling, way enough time to find a pull over or rest-stop. Just make sure you're feeling okay for the trip I guess.

Kalmar, agreed.

They seem to have started doing that, don't they? I'm sure it's for a sound medical reason, but I still always want to reply "you tell me, you're the bloody doctor".

Anyway, glad to hear you've got plans to cope with any recurrences. Your mum sounds very sensible.

Today I have only been doing things that please me.

Hence: Fry up breakfast, long walk, playing with dog, drinking Tanglefoot, listening to The Mikado, watching Finding Nemo, watching Doc Who special (which was enjoyable, if average) and Run Fat Boy Run which I hadn't seen before but rather liked. (It had Sophie from Spaced in it too in a tiny role.)

The aches have gone, as has the poundy-beating heart thing and a large chunk of panic and depression. My head however feels as if a rubber band has been wrapped around it - a final symptom that's really annoying and taking some shifting. All that accumulated tension. Still, feeling remarkably well adjusted. Phew.

Had another long chat with mum, agreed to take up swimming and/or running. Reckon I'll be less tense with regular excercise, though I'm pretty decent weight wise and eat reasonably healthy. Don't really want to cut down in drink much though, I feel I drink a sensible-ish amount.

Grandparents tomorrow. I predict I'll fall asleep in an overheated room whilst Antiques Roadshow is on - ultimate relaxation!

Ultimate relaxation until they think you died in your sleep and you're rudely awoken by a defibrillator.

Reading that has been like looking at what my life has been like in the last week. I've been suffering from the occasional anxiety attack since my mum's dad died. Which must be something like 10 years nearly now.. Doesn't help that two other deaths followed pretty quickly afterward and one was an auntie who was only just in her 40s.

Also I've been under severe stress at work lately. My partnership seemed to be going sour fast and it was really sending me bonkers. Thankfully I got that sorted.

So. Um. Yeah. Not alone and all that.

Second day back in work, things are quiet, yet I'm getting that pressure-in-the-brain-can't-concentrate-agh-don't-panic-head-compressing feeling again. Despite nothing really stressful happening. Ugh. Just 45 minutes until I clock off and I have tomorrow off. Guess I'll just have to accept and ride it out.

Well the band around head thing lasted a while, but I've been feeling quite a bit better the last few days. Felt a bit bad this morning waiting for a doctor to phone up with my blood test results, but happily the call came through and I was told that I'm completely normal, aside from a slightly elevated cholestrol level. She advised that I take the test again in two months if I like, and see if its returned to normal, as it might just be the bottle of wine I had the night before.

Now I've just got to avoid stressful situations. Amusingly I read a slightly rubbish guide book which said that if you feel short of breath, with a heart that's pounding, and dizzy with aching muscles and a feeling of weakness - then just imagine you're winning Wimbledon! Frankly, that's crap. Amusing crap though.

Anyway, being in the clear is a big relief, and I celebrated with a tasy egg mayo sarnie. Uh, look out!

Good news, chap.

Excellent stuff.

Nice one Pete.