Be Excellent To Each Other

Randoms are much fewer and father between on UT3. I don't think we'd get balanced teams. I often leave a few public slots open though, and we do get randoms joining in -- the game has a specific "1:1" setting for humans vs bots, so it automatically joins them to our team and spawns a bot to match them.

Something I've been meaning to try is a lower bot AI level but 2:3 ratio of players. Be interesting to see how much tougher or easier that is.

I suppose it's no different to playing a co-op story mode, or whatever.

Less gay cut scenes featuring characters from gears of war UTIII.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it when Ange brought the game home yesterday. That is Marcus Fenix on the box, isn't it?

I thought it was a mix of Dom and Baird, with a little Marcus in there too. And another character who is Cole, but a bit less big.

And called Malcom. The fact he's been in the series since UT99 doesn't make his name any less stupid.

How many UTs have there been, anyway? I'm sure there's more than three.

Depends how you count.

PC releases:
Unreal -1998
Unreal Tournament - 1999
Unreal II - 2003
Unreal Tournament 2003 (originally called UT2) - 2002
Unreal Tournament 2004 - 2004
Unreal Tournament 3 - 2008

Console releases:
Unreal Championship - 2002
Unreal Championship II - 2005
Unreal Tournament 3 - 2008

UT2k4 was almost just a patch for the (heavily criticised) UT2k3, to the point where there was a mail-in rebate if you upgraded from 2k3 to 2k4. Crucially they both use Unreal Engine 2, whereas UT3 uses Unreal Engine 3. So it really is the third UT game, the numbering isn't as perverse as it first seems.

I was more thinking of Othello than Malcolm.

Hang on. Can you lie down in this game? I forgot to ask.

Press down on the D pad.

Lie down? Even standing still is asking to get murdered in the face. Who's got chance to lie down? Lazy fuckin' CoD4 soliders, that's who. This is THE FUTURE boy, where men with no necks sleep for 30 seconds a day standing up in a cistern of blood, eat wasps for breakfast, and head out to another day's hard killin'.

Wasps?! poofter! I eat hornets. hornets: MAN FOOD.

If that's the grenade button, I'll be very cross.

Fuck lying down, you have a FLOATING SKATEBOARD. This is what's important.

I was just asking.

GrenadeS? Fuck that. You have to flick your wrist about to girlily chuck a grenade. We have a grenade GUN YOU FUCK.

So you can't lie down or toss grenades? Next you'll be telling me there's no MP5.

He's right. This is a game that lets you grab a tactical nuclear missile, get on your floating skateboard, use a lasso of glowing energy to attach to the back of a nitrous boosted sports car, and do kickflips on the board whilst your car driving mate plows through the opposing team hacking them in half with spring-loaded blades.

I've heard of loving your gun but that's a bit too extreme, even for me.

*deploys tentacles*

Still, the similarity of Marcus and Reaper makes it pretty obvious who Cliffy B goes for in The Blue Oyster.

But no MP5?

How about a green spooge gun - that do you?

So do we sit down and work out our tactics beforehand?

Nah, we just wait for Meaty to start whinging, then do the exact opposite of what he says.

Well, if you're us, you claim to, and then I get really fed up with being killed and start shouting that it's all well and good to talk about tactic, but we need to start carrying them out as I'm sick of being killed on my own all the time, and then Gaywood announces that he has, actually, been following right behind me every time and I just haven't noticed and I get a bit embarassed.

But yes, tactics are needed ftw.

I couldn't have timed that last post better.

This all sounds like everything I hated about playing football at school.

*deliberately forgets sports kit*

We eschew tactics in favour of a spirited discussion as to whether the 'left' and 'right' side refer to when you're charging towards the enemy flag or fleeing away from it.

Towards, surely?

How blindingly obvious the answer is comes in direct proportion to how often it needs to be discussed.

You'd think, wouldn't you? But it turns out nothing makes a gripping dash out of the enemy base with 5% health remaining more exciting than finding out your reinforcements are on the other side of the map.



Heh, that was aces, that. I'd followed you into the base, at no more than 100ft behind you, on the previous five flag runs

Just played an online deathmatch against randoms and got 23:7 - they're here for the taking!

I went into Game last night and looked for this. Found a copy on the bottom shelf. Priced at £44.99. I did not buy it.

I've been mercilessly ripped off by an online retailer. Been waiting for ages and still heard nothing.

Still need to sprinkle some smeg, then it's good to go.

Does it mean something that I've still only played - and therefore like - the first Unreal Tournament?


I think I prefer quick loading goodness and substandard graphics than eye-candy and an ice age to load things on computers that are so much as six months old (although my computer is like three years old).

Exactly the reason why I stopped PC gaming. One thing that's impressed me about the XBox version is the quick loading times, 1 minute and you're playing. Plus it grieves me to spend 300 quid plus on buying a brand new PC every 2-3 years.

The PC version is pretty light on the resources, too. I've only played the demo of that, mind.

Why is the 360 version of UT3 so expensive? It's twice the price of the PS3 version and three times as expensive as the PC version!

Because people who want to play with their friends have no choice in what platform to buy it on. And Live is the biggest online service.

It's a little known fact that the designer of UT3, Barry Unreal, is allergic to money. It was why the PS3 version was released months before the 360 version, in the hope the game would be buried under "oh, that's that old game innit?" expectations of the general public.

It's on 2 for £30 in Gamestation at the moment. I bought two copies, but for the life of me I can't remember why.

PS3 and PC versions got mod support, too.

Good gamage tonight chaps. My xbox just hung totally between rounds -- I'm taking that as a sign that it's bedtime.

It seems Live died a death for a while. Just logged back on and 1 friend is online.

It has. It's just booted me from Modern Woofare multiplayer. The website's down too.

Oh, that explains why I couldn't reach live.xbox.com to send you a message either. I wonder if that's why we had connectivity problems tonight.

Up again, now.

I cannot reconnect.

What a time to die, mind. just as we were about to win.

Cool, it's like a "time to go to bed" alarm. I didn't see that feature on the NXE "new stuff" list.