Be Excellent To Each Other

Venue:

Anywhere, but supermarket scores you most points

Rules:

Spot a man. With children.

This is a "Dad"

This scores you no points.

"Trendy Dad"

This is a man, accompanied by at least one small child.

To score a point, Trendy Dad must have two of the following:

T-Shirt with picture or slogan
Shorts
Sandals/Flip-flops/Trainers
Small socks
iPod or BlueTooth earpiece
Child/Children

And act like he's cool

Those are the 'Trendy Dad' rules.

Great.

Isn't putting "child" on the list for the second one a bit of a given?

Well, yes, but it helps.

But it means that you only need to have one of the things on the list to score a point, which doesn't really add up.

Myoptika, there I spotted one.

Oh with child.

Do you get a point if you are a Trendy Dad? Because I was at the supermarket with my Son today and fitted all but one of those criteria.

I went to the supermarket with my stepson today. I'm so sorry for being such a cunt.

Let me guess, was it the bit about the ipod ear piece you failed on?

I bloody well hope so, there's no way to avoid looking like a tool with a bluetooth headset on.

Do I score extra points if I have more than two of those things? Because I had a t-shirt with a slogan, trainers and a child. Also - do I get bonus points for having a decent MP3 player?

No, Grim..., you have stupid shoes.

Ha! Like I only have one pair of trainers!

And they're all stupid.

Yes, thankfully.

I think I match all of those except the earpiece (what sort of cunt listens to music whilst minding his kids? Tch) and the "small socks". Mainly because I have no idea what you mean. People wearing socks that are a coupe of sizes too small? That doesn't sound very trendy to me. More like Chinese footbinding for beginners.

Also, is there a difference between "acting cool" and just "being cool"? How does one "act cool" in any event? does it involve rapping at young scrotes in the queue?

I think he means ankle socks, which only go up to your ankles suprisingly.

Oh. I thought people only wore those when running? How odd.

This is true, Grim... has several pairs of trainers. Jennifer and Michael train him to win doubles tennis matches, Julia and Hannah train him to shoot game and peasants and Charlie and Tarquin train him to mix the perfect G&T. etc.

Like Grim... would want to learn how to mix drinks. That's what servants are for!

I win!

Nothing trendy about flip flops or sandals. It just means you have chosen practicality over looking like someone who has no concern about their appearance whatsoever. No one wants to see your horrible feet guys.

What about if you're Jesus?

When did you have a third, Mali?

I wouldn't go that far for a 10 year set up to a joke.
Driving the Rover for third year is enough.

I always get told I've got lovely feet by my diabetic check up nurse.

Yeah, but she's gone way past it. That look in her eyes is the look of someone whom de feet is staring her in de face

Jesus

I occasionally shave my toes. Well, the big toe, I leave the rest cause I’m not a monster.

My feet are gross. My dog is obsessed with trying to lick and chew the weird scaly bits of them.

He was neither a dad nor trendy. Unless you believe Dan Brown. Though even he never claimed he was trendy.

Yes I was wearing thongs flip-flops.