Be Excellent To Each Other

I was browsing my Evernote and realised i have perhaps the saddest/nerdiest note known to man:

The locations of all the family's rechargeable batteries.

What's your lamest/most embarrassing/weird aide memoire?

I wrote a rap.

Oh... you can’t just leave that juicy prospect there without some lyrics....

I have a note of all the current 92 Premier League and Football League grounds I've attended. It's currently on a rather pathetic 36 because clubs keep changing grounds or going out of the league. It also notes that I have visited four obsolete stadiums and seven ex-league grounds.

It’s NSFW, but here you go...

I understand about a third of those words/references.

So... must be actual rap.

I can confidently predict that Fop did not see that happening when he started this thread.

That list of rechargeable batteries would have been useful. I've recently lost 4. I have a feeling they were in a toy that's ended up at the charity shop.

Anyway, my list has to be the spreadsheet of all my games. It lists the name, format, publisher, year of release, genre, date I bought it and how much I paid. There's other tabs that have fancy graphs breaking down how much I've spent each year and the most popular genres amongst other things.

I spend more time on it than actually playing the games.

On my desktop PC, I keep a spreadsheet of how much I spend on petrol, how much I put in, and how far I'd gone on that tank before filling up. I've even set up calculation for mpg and pretty charts showing the fall and rise of fuel. I also always create a directory called 'crap' on every PC I use, home or work, for filling up with stuff. My desktop one is about 2.2GB now.

Just checked my Ipod and the 'Notes' app has a pretty detailed list of places of interest in New Zealand from when I bought a guidebook and was seriously trying to find a way to get there, dated 2011. I've also got a note from the same year saying 'CD 24' which I think relates to a lengthy audio book I bought on CD and only got half-way through. Not sure I can resume from that point.

I have a spreadsheet that has the approximate dimensions of game cartridges, boxes etc., so that I can refer to it when I'm adding games to my site. Boring, but useful, as it costs more to post a Mega Drive game case than it would a DVD case, even if they weighed the same.

I don’t have many notes on my phone, but this is one that I’ve been adding to for a few years:

I have a spreadsheet that I punch the parts dimensions and number of said parts into to calculate the number of sheets of material I need for cabinets. It is inexact, obviously, as it doesn't calculate how many parts I can get out of 1220mm x 2440mm sheet, but I can estimate from there.

My first guess, and wild it may be, is that those are the times it took for a baked potato in that little oven you used to have.

But the more I think about it the more I'm doubting you'd cook a potato for 9 hours. That's ludicrous.

More ludicrous than a 2.2kg potato?

Yeah.. You got me there as well.

I wrote a whole book!

Your rap is better.

Let's see...

In google keep I have:
Coded reminders of passwords from years ago.
An old Windows XP License key
The kids current shoe size
The dimensions of all the rooms in my house
The size of tyres my car takes and various tyre retailer's numbers
Various sundry things I've needed to remember over the last few years
and... this "Os o GS b bs g BRS br" which I have no idea about.

You finished it?

Yeah, a while back.

Which is odd, I know, because most stuff I do gets to around 85% before I move onto the next thing.

Some might say that finishing it would involve putting it somewhere other than just your Dropbox.

In the bin?

I don't have any of these things because Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with you people?

Age and the need not to poison people with undercooked ham, mostly. I cook this joint of meat for family once a year. I’d never remember how long to put something in the slow cooker for, for 364 days in between.

Aww come on, give us a taster!

Yeah, go on Grim... That’s a big blinking achievement, and one you should be really proud of.

What’s it about?

It's recent, but my son drew a picture on my (work) ipad with the pencil. It's of me, getting soap in my eyes, apparently.

Er, cheers buddy.

Saddest note is on my iphone 3G (still in my bag, with a UK SIM in it although it's flat) from ~2008 with a friend-from-uni's address. I went there once with a group of school pals. We were never invited back, and have long since lost touch.

Well, now we need to see the picture!!

It's..... not clear to me.

It looks just like you with soap in your eyes.

Kids are ace. They are just absolutely bonkers.

Yes indeed, I do wonder sometimes what chaos is going on in their little heads.

Maybe the drawing is not clear to me, because I got actual soap in my actual eyes.

Today Darwin was drawing faces. He’s seen me draw a face: a circle, two dots for eyes, and a smily mouth. As I draw these faces, I say this to him, then when it is complete he says hellos to the face.

So today hesxsittjng there, saying ‘circle, one eye, two eye, mouth, HELLO!’ and I look over and it’s just scribble, though he’s jabbing two dots for eyes, but in that he thinks there’s a face so it makes me smile

Smile I mean smile frew

How many how many cabinets do you make that this is needed? Unless you are a cabinet maker? Which... are you? I thought you were a famous photographer? I’m so confused. You’re like some international man of mystery, but nicer than Bond.

You and JBR. I’m sure you’re just a pair of elegant spies.

JBR has been on assignment in the Antipodes for ages now

*Adds Bamba to "Suspicious Scottish Agitators Up to No Good" note.*

You're in good company,

Space bro becomes friends with a bangdroid and shoots people.

Craster read it (his review was "cool story, bro") and Bobby read some of it before it beat him, I think.

You really aren't missing a lot.

Oh, you sent me that. I will start, soonest.

Prohint: if you want to read it ask me when I'm drunk.

Friday night will probably work

Any plans to do an audiobook version, Grim...?

Shhhh. Mum's the word. That and "yis", along with "Fush and chups".

All mine were pretty much just shopping lists and boring work stuff so I had to look in the archive until I found this note which I have no memory of at all.

I was a pro photographer for the best part of 20 years. I'm now a cabinet maker. I segued about 7 years ago — it was becoming increasingly difficult to find paying work post 2008, I was getting bored of the work and the majority of people I found myself working with. I've always made things and about 7-8 years ago a friend pestered me at length to help him on a shop refitting project, this lead to more work. That's it in a nutshell. I was never famous.

Of course, that's *exactly* what a trained spy would say...

Ooh, pretty much my first Evernote, filed under Writing Ideas:

A forum where I write the posts of every member - a fictional community.

The nocturnal thoughts of a new father during the 5th sleepless night of the week?

Well, I think you’re amazing ^{super spy} and that’s the same as famous. Also, what a great career move.

I've just looked up an old To-Do list I had kicking about.

Outstanding Tasks:
* Overarm sling
* Sharpen Chisels
* Medieval Wrestling
* Celtic / Iron age / La Tene
* Cider
* Forage Stuff

I honestly can't remember the inspiration for much of this, but it does seem like I have a cracking weekend or two coming up!

On my work phone “Keep”notes:

1. Overheard in M&S Leeds lingerie dept “They’re a bugger to get in, but then you can’t move y’know.”

2. Just had a call from Maureen at Milngavie re setting up turkey tills.

On own phone:

1. Reminder, O rings for power washer

2. Banjosh 9 11 13