Be Excellent To Each Other

Sal and I went to see Dad's Army at the Rugby Odeon, then went to Frankie & Benny's for the worst meal possible, then had a drink at a chain pub that does 2 for 1 meals.

It was a good job we both enjoyed the company otherwise it would have been a total disaster.

You should have opted for the best meal possible option.

How did such an itinerary come to pass? I always assumed you were a man of taste and distinction (no idea why).

She lived in the arse-end of Leicestershire so there wasn't exactly much choice. We had only agreed to go to the cinema, hadn't decided on a film and decided to go for food afterwards on the spur of the moment as we were both having a lot of fun.

Makes sense. I used to make a point of taking dates to shit places as it gives you something to talk about.

My dad put together the Jones' van for that film.

Are you sure it was McDonald's or was it Viking Burgers

It's why swimming is good.if it is not really viable long term, you wrap them in a sack and drown them.

That's cats, dude.

Ball. Yeah, i dropped my memoirs and pages got jumbled.

I know! It looked awesome and they really captured the look and feel of the TV show. Shame about the script really.

That's a big picture.

Blame Trooper.

Definitely McDonald's, but I can't find any photos online of what it used to look like, so maybe my childhood was just a brain implant and I was created by ZX Spectrums.

Our local McDonald's has seats that look like a train for parties.

Cease all motor function.

WTF is Viking Burger

Danish.

I remember going to a McDonalds party as a kid. It was my cousins and I was desperately disappointed that I wasn't picked to take a tour of the kitchens.

Our local McDonalds had a specific section for parties with a huge picture on the wall and seats in the shape of mushrooms (I think). They also had Styrofoam boxes for their burgers which never did anyone any harm as far as I'm concerned.

WTF is that green stuff - you don't put decorations on it

The day we left school we did a great big pub crawl from school into town. The enduring memory from that day was stopping off at McDonalds to try and mitigate some of the booze, and one of our number wolfing down a big mac then throwing it back up into the box, closing the box and walking away.

That wouldn't work so well with today's folded cardboard boxes.

Parsley, I think. I quite agree - but then it's our staff canteen, they never get anything right.

The McDonald's in Southampton had a pirate ship area to sit in as well.

-edit- lol, *the* McDonald's. Now there's one on every corner.

When you get to be more civilised they are replaced with Pret a Manger and Itsu.

What are their pirate ships like?

Arrrrrrrrrsome.

We've just had an email at work saying that there's an 'important' visitor coming at 4. The Conservative candidate for the Mayoral role for the combined authority.... The email has asked us to keep the noise to a minimum and look busy.

I think I'm going to take my shirt off at 3:59 and start smoking a cigarette at my desk.

Tell him you don't want a lecture on communism.

The lead story on the BBC's news page for Oxford is about a cat with its head stuck in a jar.

That is all.

Try to have a half-drunk bottle of vodka on your desk as well.

I've only drunk 1/4 of it.

I'm doing much better on my whiskey.

re: kids parties... Izzy's in November cost me nearly £500. Combo of room hire, DJ, decorations, party bags (even after getting a bargain for pre-made bags on ebay), food and the ingredients to make a fucking big cake.

Wanker ex said he'd contribute and I'm still waiting, obviously.

I told her if she wanted any more she'd have to pay for it herself though

What was the value of present yield per invitee though?

Doesn't matter, it's just more shite to fill up the house.

I stared forlornly at the mountain of (shit) presents acquired from 30 kids at Mini-Fop's birthday this year. Where will this stuff live?

Attempts to enforce a one-in-one-out policy have thus far been resisted.

Build a wall.

And send THEM the bill.

I was thin when I first discovered I could eat cheese

I'm not allowed to eat very much cheese now.

Guidance being a matchbox sized portion per day, if any.

When I went through a period of frequent and bad migraines as a kid, I was deprived of cheese, chocolate, and caffeine. Those were dark times.

Zardoz's new matches.

Hahaha

I think that's the guidelines for everybody. You've just been told to stick to them, I guess.

I assumed they meant this:

It's not that big a deal really, I still 'use' but mostly on toppings rather that having cheese butties etc.

Get a cheese slicer like this one

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01M3O ... ref=plSrch

You end up using a tiny amount, but still get the flavour

I've already got a cheese slicer.