Meet the mods!
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They are all epic at their jobs - Grim... owns a tech startup, Cras is a celebrity chef with a string of restaurants, and The Vision is a top TV comedian. They have some awesome gear in their house.
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The Vision is waiting patiently for Cras to cook Lobster Thermidor, but Grim... has a bowl of cereal instead.
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They spend
lots of time not working and throwing parties. One girl has turned up in her underwear, which is pretty modern of her.
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The Vision likes her a lot.
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As is proper, they've hired a waitress and immediately made her sit down and join the party. She isn't exactly difficult to look at, either.
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Let's dance! The Vision is so drunk he has no issues about dancing in his pants and slippers.
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Wait a fucking minute - what the hell is
that?!Attachment:
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Some idiot has adopted a baby in the middle of a party!
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Grim... - meet Noob.
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Craster gives Noob some eats while some crazy rando does push-ups outside their front door.
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The Vision is, quite rightly, panicking. It's 4:30am, everyone is off their face, only two of the ladies have left and the mods have no idea how to look after a baby.
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The boys make a plan. Dumping Noob at the end of the corridor...
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...they shoo the talent out of the door and do the sensible thing.
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Mother fuck. No-one is sleeping any more.
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The Vision sorts Noob out. Craster is too busy playing... The Sims. Huh.
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Unenthusiastically, Craster and Grim... go into Cottage mode and share a bedroom.
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Noob goes into Craster's old room. The decor is probably fine, and there's no way those knives are going to cause a problem.
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Noob needs his (her..? I have no idea) nappy changing. Nothing for pervs in this game!
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The waitress from the party has come over to hang out. Cras is rather enamored with her everyday attire. Grim... is watching TV, and The Vision is at work. No-one is paying any attention to Noob.
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What the shit?! Noob has pokevolved! What's she so interested in?
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Ruh-roh.
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Noob can't get her mod dads to pay her any attention.
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Figuring out why, she calls the waitress a bitch...
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and she promptly fucks off.
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As The Vision arrives home, Noob lies to Grim... about having a brain tumor.
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He doesn't take it well.
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Some people find it most amusing, though.
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A few hours later the school is on the phone, wanting to know why Noob hasn't turned up.
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Oh. Right. She probably needs a bed.
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Perfect for a child.
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NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
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Moving on with their problems, Craster starts the new day by getting drunk while The Vision ruins some BBQ for breakfast.
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OBJECTION
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Oh crap, the boys forgot they'd organised a party for tonight. Cras seems unconcerned that three women (one of whom is Holly Willougby) have joined him in the bathroom.
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The Vision impresses the girls with his pecs. What's that one in the yellow top doing?!
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It's just after 2am. Noob has woken up and is hanging with two of her drunk dads and some random party girl who keeps writing in a booOH GOD SHE'S NOT A PARTY GIRL
SHE'S A SOCIAL WORKERAttachment:
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Noob explains to a smashed Craster that he needs to be a better parent or the social is going to take her away.
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Craster is having fucking none of that.
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"No-one here asked for you!"
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Utterly savaged, Noob waits until her dads have passed out and does a runner.
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What's going to happen? Will Noob come home? Will the mods get to keep her if she does? Find out in the next installment of Sim Beex!