Be Excellent To Each Other

Any ideas?

Obviously she wants it all on her terms as usual but I was wondering if there was an easy way to get her to serve me notice without doing something drastic like not paying her.

Do you need notice served?

Agreed, I struggle to think of a situation where it's to your benefit.

Because basically I need to make myself homeless before I will get a decent place to live. It sucks and it's stressing me out but if we just leave then that does not count.

Mate, check very carefully this is the case before acting. Then check again. I'm sure you have, but tread lightly.

I have yeah. Until I am served notice housing will not do anything. I can't just leave because apparently that doesn't count, so basically I need to put myself through the stress of becoming homeless and then staying in a B&B until they find me a place to live.

Right now I am in band C for housing and if I am homeless I go straight into band A. As I said, it sucks, but that's the rules. There are no rules in place to help the disabled apparently we're all the same now unless we're pregnant, then it's different.

My landlady is trying to sell the flat with us in it as an asset. She would, we've never missed a payment in three years and have hardly ever complained (we've only needed her handyman out twice). However, the place is falling apart. There are wires hanging out of the ceiling in the bedroom, none of the windows open properly (they're all fucked and need serious work) and yesterday Mrs JC opened one of the kitchen drawers and the whole slider mech and ball bearings fell out onto the floor.

It's a shit hole Mal. And I'm fucking sick of it. We have to pay extra out of our own pockets every month for it too which is pretty pants.

Ed. I asked her for a letter explaining that she was selling the flat and she has completely ignored it. I sent the text three times and no reply. I've asked her to call me, she hasn't. The only calls we are getting is from estate agents and surveyors wanting to fucking nose through the flat.

It's horrible and it's making me fucking ill tbh. Like I didn't have enough going on right now..

Hmm actually I've had an idea. I think I'm going to stop letting people in.

So basically if she wants to ignore me I will ignore the phone calls from the estate agents and won't let the surveyor in. I'll keep paying the rent like, but will just play her at her own game. I mean end of the day the only thing I cannot do according to housing is skank her on the rent as that will give us a black mark.

Time to fight dirty !

Pay the rent in pennies.

Unless I'm mistaken you were happy and settled in your place until you heard that your landlady was selling?

Two things: she may be selling to let with new buyer potentially retaining tenants. Also, if you were happy there but will get a new house, why not just wait until she has sold up and made you homeless, then go through the process without stressing yourself out with potentially underhand tactics.

Not allowing viewing access is probably against your terms of contract, which could mean future landlords reject you as tenants.

Don't pay rent.

That probably won't help his case if he's trying to get a new place to live. There's a difference between being made homeless and willingly making yourself homeless.

Well, he seems to be trying for the latter, so why not so it properly.

Jc, have you actually tried talking to your landlady, and explaining to her, and I don't mean by text message.

Because if he does go for the latter it could make his chance of being re-homed more difficult.

She make not make the decision to sell anyway based on what the agents say.

Mrs JC has never been happy here and I have tried to be cheerful about it but I'm finally starting to agree with her, the place sucks. The windows all leak so the winter is hard (they rattle too) and generally it's just a dump. Sure I've got my computers and stereo etc here but I could have that anywhere.

Being the aspie I am as soon as she sent that text message saying she was selling the flat it's been over for me. I'm doing nothing but stressing and it's beginning to pour over into my sleep. Last night I had a very violent dream and before I had woken up I had punched a pint glass on my bedside table smashing it and cutting open my hand. Things can't go on like this I'm going to end up getting sectioned

The fact is that we just don't want to stay here now. Before the stress we put up with all of the nasty stuff because I guess we felt settled here but it's not really fair that we should have to live in a dump. And as soon as she sent that text all of the character the place has just evaporated. It just doesn't feel like home any more.

So what you are saying then is what housing are saying. These people have full control over me and there's little I can do about it. I just can't cope with it and it's beginning to cause me serious mental problems.

Yesterday afternoon the curtains in the living room broke and came crashing down. I've just had enough of it.



She has a Tesco mobile PAYG phone and it is always switched off. If I phone her it goes to a message saying she has her voicemail turned off so I can't leave her messages. For the past month or so she has just ignored all of the text messages I have sent her, including ones asking for her to phone me.

We just keep receiving text messages instructing us on what to do next and I'm fucking sick of it.

Here a rough idea. The curtains snapped and came down last night showing the huge gaps in windows. We spend all winter pumping hot air through these.



The wonderful safe electrics.



And the carpet she was going to replace with lino, three years ago.

I'm not saying that you have no recourse, but that trying to get out of your contract into homelessness by doing something that hreaks your contract could harm your future housing choices.

Unfortunately for those that rely on the services, help with housing is generally on a 'make do with what you're given' basis, and priority is (rightly) given to those who have no choice but to be immediately homeless through situations they cannot control such as parental abuse, etc, rather than those who have elected to be because of draughty Windows and broken curtain rods.

As far as the damage is concerned, email the landlord and any housing services detailing the problems and when you first reported them, just in case it helps you in some way in the future.

Can't you just ask her to give you notice? Guess she wants to wait until she has an completion date on the flat??

These are the banding criteria, in case they add any insight:

http://www.searchmoves.org.uk/scheme6.aspx

Looking st the banding criteria, the only thing I can see is if you can make a case that your current housing is a danger to your health, be it mental or physical. I'm not sure how much of s case you could make, though, as compared to some social housing upkeep issues I've seen, the ones you've listed are relatively minor. If there are other, more pressing ones or you can make the case that remaining in your current property until your landlord actually gives notice if tenancy agreement end endangers your health or wellbeing then you have that option. My own morality would urge you to think if this is really the case, though, whether you think that your need is more pressing than someone whose life is at risk, etc, before trying to get ahead of the queue. There are many people on the street, in shelters, refuges, with abusive parents, friends, partners, people who have been sold out by pimps, or horribly treated in many other ways that may not have a roof over their heads tonight. Yours may not suit you long term, and I hope you find somewhere better, but you seem relatively safe and have some comforts and possessions as many others are without.

I don't want to upset you, so I shall wish you the best and say no more.

She won't give notice at all if she's looking to sell with tenants in situ.

The estate agents that have been round so far say that that's what she's trying to do, but will sell to the first bidder regardless. So we're going to get screwed basically and I'm a little angry that we are being used as cattle because we are honest.

Whatever happens now I just need to get away from the stress for a while.

Hardly used as cattle. It's very much standard practice for landlords to sell with tenants in situ. In most cases it's convenient for buyer, seller, and tenants. It's unfortunate that you want to leave, but she's not exactly doing anything wrong.

Yeah, you were moaning the other week that you were going to be kicked out, now you have convinced your self the place is shit, you want it the other way.

The place has always been shit. Location though was what sold us. Parking is an absolute nightmare too.

And yeah, now I want to leave. The moment she sent that text message both my wife and I just want to leave and go somewhere stable and secure, because this place feels anything but now.

That's not unusual for somebody with Autism though. Security and safety is everything.

As usual though in life those with money get to pull all of the strings though and remain in full control. She knows that we're sick and we've told her what this is doing to us but she's still doing it all her way to suit herself.

She's doing the common sense thing for her. Why would she throw away valuable tenants? They make the property easier to sell. Sure, it's not what you want, but she's hardly screwing you over.

Your next landlord that buys the flat could be a lot better.

If they are buying to let.

True. But they are buying with a tenant in situ. It could be a possibility, either way JC is secure till 2 months notice is given.

Absolutely, but you definitely can't take a buy to let as a given, and then you have to consider under what terms and if they are covered by JC's current benefits arrangements.

But yes, as difficult as it may be, perhaps the best thing to do is wait it out. Not knowing is difficult on anyone, perhaps more so for JC, but if the aim here is to become homeless, then that will be a distinct possibility with the sale. The landlord will probably want to fix those things wrong with the property to make the sale (so report the curtain rod as otherwise that and the other issues will bring the potential price down) so you might have a fix in the short term and your ultimate aim in the long term). You'll have two months notice to move, which will allow you to bid on somewhere more suitable if and when it comes to that. Alternatively you may find that the new buyer does want to continue renting to you under good terms and may be a better landlord.

If you were looking to but somewhere to live in personally, you'd be absolutely batshit insane to buy somewhere with a tenant in situ with the presumption that you'd be able to serve them notice and get them out soon after, unless there is absolutely no alternative property available to buy.

We've already been told by both estate agents that she's selling regardless of whether she can sell it with us in it or not.

And that to an aspie means that we could be made homeless at any minute.

You have an iron clad legal guarantee of between two and three months of notice. It cannot happen "at any minute."

Well okay, but that isn't the case. At bare minimum you'll get your two months notice - the notice you're actually asking for here.

Surely that's just normal anxiety thinking like that? Everyone has those sorts of worries. If anything people with autism have a higher level of intelligence when it comes to understanding things.

Yeah if I could put it into logic I would be fine with it. But it's irrational fear, something that probably stems from the Bipolar or "Chronic anxiety disorder" I've been diagnosed with recently. Look up "Fight or flight". I'm trying to take the flight option but my landlady is making sure I'm stuck and that means I will fight.

I think I am going to have to go into hospital any way. I had another violent dream last night, smashing another glass on the bedside table. Thankfully no one was hurt this time (still got a lovely gash on my left hand) but yeah, I'm scared I'm going to lean the other way and do the unthinkable

I just phoned the psych they are getting a duty person to phone me back ASAP.

Righty ho. Never heard of that

Oh, absolutely get that it's anxiety and it must be horrible to deal with. But this is a thread asking for advice about forcing your landlord to give notice - and the best advice that can be offered is "don't". Do your best to ignore the fact that she's selling the place (very difficult, I know). The worst case is that she sells to someone who doesn't want tenants, in which case you get your two months notice and deal with it then.

Imagine yourself in downtown Memphis. It's 3:00am and the streets are dark and empty. You're walking alone and there are no others on the streets within view. Suddenly, a large man appears and starts rushing towards you with a gun. What happens to your anxiety level? It goes through the roof as your adrenaline begins to course through your veins. Your sensory system becomes heightened and you are more acutely aware of your environment. You hear every pin drop, you notice every movement in your periphery. Your heart races and your breathing becomes quick and more shallow as you abruptly make your fight or flight decision.


http://autismsupportresources.blogspot. ... rgers.html

I've got a feeling that's what has been happening in my dreams. I'm dreaming up scenarios like that but somehow they are making it to the physical movement side

Hopefully by the end of the day I will be in hospital. Means no communication though as you're not allowed anything with wires or draw strings in your jogging bottoms but at least I won't be able to hurt any one but me.

Also, you're not stuck - you can give her notice and move out. Now obviously, that doesn't fit with what you want, to be made homeless in order to seek sheltered housing, totally understood. But it's not fair to put that on her.

If we do that we get nothing. Same way as if you take a job with the job center to get you off the dole and you hate it you have to do it for six months, and even then they will screw you for leaving.

It's not a very nice government.

In my mind dude I'm stuck, waiting for the inevitable. So every minute of every day I am living through the stress of moving house. It's not rational and it's not normal but if it were I would not be me and we wouldn't be having this conversation. It's part and parcel of mental illness, it's what makes us mentally ill.

I don't want to privately rent again exactly for these reasons, so I would rather be homeless and get a stable place to live rather than go through this again. Also let's not forget that privately renting and moving house costs £1500 or more, every time you do it.

Why don't you use a plastic bottle for a drink, I do. After i went through a stage of knocking it over in my sleep

Update on the situ. The long and short of it is housing can do nothing to help us. The Tories have removed any help for the disabled and we are now in the same boat as everybody else. This means that we get no priority over any one else. So basically we are stuck where we are, at least until we are made homeless. Even then we still don't get any help for being disabled, blah blah blah.

My landlady finally called back and spoke to Nicola (Mrs JC). She said that she would be willing to serve us a section whatever it is and let us stay until the eviction date (you need to follow through and do it the full peg so that is pretty kind of her seeing as it would cost her money to do it through the courts) but warned us that she did this for a lady in Brighton once who used to smear shit up the walls and it took months and was terribly stressful for the woman who bounced in and out of the local nuthouse before it was all over. I'm glad that she called though. Nicola and I have decided that the least stressful option for now seems to be just to stay put and see what happens, as hard as that is for us to do.

I went to my psych the other day. He didn't seem very bothered at all that I was now hurting myself he just did what he always does, gave me more sedatives. So I guess once I start taking those it'll be back to getting up at 10am after four hours sleep, going back to sleep before 12pm and then sleeping all day before getting up at 11pm and repeat to fade.

OK this like the above probably doesn't belong in this thread but I'm tired so I will post it here. As hard as I have tried to stop the DWP taking those forms that my social worker filled out they are ignoring my pleas. I have tried to explain to them that it was early in the morning (so I would have been off my face on sedatives anti psychotics etc) and that she had only known me one day so probably answered some questions without asking on face value) but they have ignored all of it. I have an interview with ATOS in about 10 days.

So yeah, my misery is just being compounded even more.

I don't feel any more suicidal than I did. I would say it's about the same. During the day I feel the urge to knock myself off but like my moods it comes and goes.

So I'm just trying to rest atm because it makes me so tired

I love you guys though, and I hope I can get through this all soon and go back to just annoying the shit out of you all day with my misunderstandings and completely broken context.

According to everything you've told us up until now, you are on a month-to-month contract and your landlady doesn't need to serve you a Section 8 notice or go to court to obtain a formal eviction. She can just give you a Section 21 notice, which is a simple letter she writes, that your contract is going to expire no less than two months after the letter is dated. This costs her nothing.

I hope you can get out of this situation smoothly, JC.

Thanks dude

I had an epiphany the other day. Basically I mentioned that housing were going to try and home us in secure housing or whatever it's called now. Problem is it's not housing that does that

So basically I have wasted weeks filling out forms and so on for nothing. All in vain. It's Social Security that does it and it's done by a psychiatrist

It was so long ago that I applied that I had forgotten that my old psychiatrist set it all up FFS. Mind you tbh I have to say that since he left (he retired, went on to study Christian Science or something) I've been a right mess. It was like losing my father

This is probably why when I was at my psych last week he said "If you need any help with housing let me know". FFS X10. So I have booked a call back from him and hopefully he can get the ball rolling for me. I've been on a manic spell for about four days now. Thankfully I have £1.99 in my bank account so I can't go on a spending spree (no overdraft at my instruction) so I have just been modding my PC and making parts for it, 16 hours a day. It's been a long time since I've been manic so I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm coming off the Citalopram as I really think they are actually making me worse, not better. Got some new meds to take at night to knock me out (because a cocktail of Zopliclone and Quetiapine ain't working) so hopefully that will allow me to get more than 3 hours of sleep.

I've also phoned back the social worker. Not sure she will return the call after the message I left her but hopefully I can patch things up with her and get her to come to ATOS with me to explain the mix up. I was saying last night to Mrs JC that it's not really the outcome that bothers me. Money just makes me stress out thinking of what I can waste it on, then that shitty feeling of regret when it's all gone. It's just more the fact that the forms are incorrect and not me. That is what is really eating at me it's definitely due to autism. I absolutely hate it when things are wrong. They're supposed to paint a picture of me but it may aswell be some one else.

*social services not Social Security FFS still thinking I'm in the USA.