Be Excellent To Each Other

Ok, it's been a while so I figured I'm due a good old rant!

The 'relatively easy to deal with' one first.

Yesterday while we were stood outside of my back door a lad came running out of next doors house and gobbed over the fence right where we were stood. With the baby. I was not amused. I hammered on the door and tore him a new one basically, the girl who's friend he was (she's called Jade) made him appologise and sent him home. He parents were at the hospital at the time and I said we wouldn't mention it further.

Turns out on their way back from the hospital they got stopped at the bottom of the street (I live in a cu-de-sac) and told that I had had a right go at Jade, not true, she hadn't done anything. Now the person who told them this is Jade's cousin, there are loads of this one family in the street. I only found about about it this morning and when we went out this afternoon I politely asked her to not shit stir about me again, I even said please.

Then I went to my sisters. Then I came back from my sisters.

As I turned into the street Donna walked straight in front of my car to stop me (I actually had to do an emergency stop with the baby in the car) because she wanted to talk to me - not the best way to go about it!

Then to cut a long story short, I asked her why she had told an outright lie, she said it was because she had heard shouting...

Me: and?

Her: well there was shouting

Me: yes, but not at Jade

Her: Well I couldn't see what was going on

Me, then why say I was shouting at Jade if you couldn't even see what was going on?

Her: Well there was shouting

Me: Yes, but not at Jade

Etc... etc...

It was like having a conversation with an addict - seriously! This isn't the first time she's done this though, she's well known for being a shit stirrer in the street and would have been gotton out long ago if it wasn't for the fact that her mum worked for the council and kept having a word with the woman in charge of her case who kept on wiping the files - thankfully she has been sacked over it. I'm not one for pettyness, but I'm not about to put up with her intimidations either (her and her family hang around in her front garden all day staring at everybody who walks past) so I think I'm going to report her to the council tomorrow, she did physically try and prevent me from drining down my own street to my home after all.

Rant two: Teenagers!

I have a 16 year old son as many of you know, I shaln't go into details as it's not appropriate, but I came from a very abusive relationship with his father. His father has had nothing to do with him until he hit 13, since then he has been a nightmare, encouraging him to get drunk (he himself is an alcoholic), doing drugs around him, encouraging him to bunk off school as he has his genes in him and he will never amount to anything just like his dad so there's no point trying, encouraging him to have under age sex then blaming me for it etc... I could go on, but I won't. Anyway, Darryl has seen his true colours a handful of times, a few weeks ago his father told him to drop dead and last weekend came the crunch (for me anyway, and will explain my posts to CG). Darryl came home at 5am covered in blood. It seems he had been converting a DVD for his dad on his laptop (that I bought him...) and his dad had decided that he wanted to speak to a friend of his on MSN (Darryl actually said that he wasn't even online) he told him that the conversion was halfway done and that he would have to start it over again if he stopped it. His dad wasn't having any of it and smacked him one. First time to the best of my knowledge. Darryl smacked him back, big style, none of the blood was his from what I can make out. There were texts and phone calls following (that Darryl ignored).

His dad called him tonight, he answered, his dad asked him to go over, Darryl said 'Yeah, ok I'm bored, come and pick me up then (this was after 11pm when his dad would have been well over the limit). The first I knew about it was when I heard the front door close, it was Lisa that told me about the phone call and where he had gone. I knew he would go back eventually, but I suppose I never expected it to be this soon and I'm angry with Darryl as well as his Father.

Rant over - for now.

I hope that Darryl sees his father's ways, and though may still care for him doesn't put his self in foolish danger.

I am worried about this with my brothers - their father was an abusive drunk and beat and abused me when i was younger and hit one of them on a visit to his house once. They haven't seen him since, but I am worried for them if they ever decide to.

am sorry that you are going through this Jazzy, I have no advice, but I do understand - I have known many abusive men and have managed to escape them all because I realised quite young that blood ties count for nothing when someone mistreats you. I hope that your son is OK and not too shaken, but mostly that he is safe.

x

Blimey Jasmine, and to think the extent of my troubles is that the boy racer night door (who I call Boyracer Boy) keeps chucking his empty fag packets over my fence.

At some point I shall collect them all and use them as kindling to set his car aflame.

But seriously, this is bad stuff and you have my sympathies. People are so damaging.

You know what REALLY pisses me off? For years that man controlled me and I honestly didn't know how to get out. When I did I hid, no one knew where I was but now I feel like he's contolling me again. When I found out what had happened my instinct was to go anround they and lay into him, in fact I think I would have killed him. But I can't, because if I do he's won again. So much as a police caution and bang goes what I'e spent the last three years training for and my potential career, that doesn't just affect Darryl but Lisa, Sam and Chloe as well, so I have to be sensible for them all, but then I feel like a bad parent for not doing what any other parent would have done if they had founf out that someone had touched their kids.

I feel like I should be going round there right now and dragging Darryl out, but I know I would do his father serious damage and that could upset all of our futures.

The sooner he drops dead the better.

Thanks for the support though guys, it does make me feel a bit like I'm going mad just at the moment!

Holy cow, I just hope this works out for you - sounds like you are being more than a good parent, and sometimes unfortunately there just isn't any action you can take, given longer term repercussions. Thinking of those makes you pretty great, if frustrated.

Sorry, I've nothing more helpful but best wishes.

I feel bad for always going on about the thesis now.

Sorry Jaz - thats well rantable.

Best wishes.

That sounds awful Jazzy J - I'm always here if you need an ear (obviously attached to my head, I don't want you taking it home with you).

I think everyone should have a stun gun that you are only allowed to use three times a year.

I realise CG will have used his up by 12.03am on Jan the 1st.

Nonsense. There are plenty of avenues you can go down to get rid of shitty neighbours. The council (esp. if they're council tenants) and the police, for starters.

Or, you could set fire to their house in such a way that it gets blamed on their twatty kids... *whistles*

It takes a long time. Meanwhile, you go slightly mad having to deal with it.

When we finally get rid of our neighbours (see threads passim) the blog we've used will be made public and that will make scary reading.

Geez GJ.... I feel bad about dumping all my nonsense on you now! I can't really offer any reasonable advice, though you are always more than welcome to rant my way if ever you wish. I guess the only thing is to hope that you can convince Daryl that rather than accepting he's going to end up like his dad and so should just bunk school and stuff anyway, he should be actively avoiding becomming like that and doing everything he can to prove how much better he is than that.

I like to think that if I could've seen the future when I was a teenager, I'd have worked a damn sight harder than I did to make more of myself. At least in my case I have two younger brothers who I think had the advantage of learning from some of my mistakes.

I've never met anyone who was doomed from birth to grow up into a nobody. Met thousands who doomed themselves, though...