Bits & Bobs 45

TheVision · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 12:38

Carry on!

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11925

Not sure if there is a tech topic, but if so move this there.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:03

There's an RC topic, and we've (predictably) spunked all over Lily: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=126&p=861883#p861883

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

I was poking around today in Google's new-ish account summary page when I noticed that not only does it store your actually 'OK Google' voice search strings but it even stores the audio clips and you can play them all back from here. I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Morte · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:04

I believe this fits into the remit of "Bits and Bobs"

Quote:

In the 1880s, a young woman was found floating in the Seine River in Paris. It was exactly like the beginning of The Bourne Identity, if that movie had been 10 seconds long and about drowning. The police fished her body out of the water and sent her off to the coroner, because the 19th century was a time when investigative techniques went about as far as checking the immediate area for evil spirits and then going back to the police station to wait for someone to confess to the crime. The coroner became smitten with the corpse and took her body straight to a molder to have a plaster cast made of her dead face, because everything was terrifying back then.

Before the coroner could come back to pick up his plaster corpse mask, random customers in the molding shop took notice of the piece and began requesting duplicate casts of their very own. Because money often helps you ignore the pleas of your conscience as it is torn apart by foul wrongness, copies of the anonymous dead girl's face were soon mass produced. By the turn of the century, the mask was a must-have across France and Germany, which are a pair of countries that know a thing or two about horrifying craziness.

The fad mercifully waned, but the masks could still be found all over Europe. So when the first CPR dummy was created by a Norwegian toy maker back in 1960, he decided to base its face on the Woman of the Seine's famous lifeless fear helmet, because why the fuck wouldn't he? Every single rescue dummy manufactured since then has had her face, which means that if you've ever been a lifeguard or had to take CPR training in high school, you have wrapped your lips around the mouth of a 130-year-old dead girl. And to this day, nobody has any idea who she was, so odds are she's haunting at least one of us right now.

TL;DR - CPR dummies are based on the face of an anonymous corpse from the late 19th Century.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:13

Bamba wrote:

I was poking around today in Google's new-ish account summary page when I noticed that not only does it store your actually 'OK Google' voice search strings but it even stores the audio clips and you can play them all back from here. I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Goodness.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16732

Heh. I'd forgotten this voice search: "fuck off you useless piece of shit", which unusually for that day it interpreted perfectly.

TheVision · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:18

Bamba wrote:

I was poking around today in Google's new-ish account summary page when I noticed that not only does it store your actually 'OK Google' voice search strings but it even stores the audio clips and you can play them all back from here. I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Not much in my case.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:18

Overnight in Brum tomorrow added bonus of department curry somewhere in Sparkhill. Should be interesting.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:19

TheVision wrote:

Bamba wrote:

I was poking around today in Google's new-ish account summary page when I noticed that not only does it store your actually 'OK Google' voice search strings but it even stores the audio clips and you can play them all back from here. I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Not much in my case.

I love the voice search. It is one of my favourite features.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

Bamba wrote:

I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Once you run YouTube, you get quite relaxed about data storage. You also learn some new SI-prefixes, like "exa" as in "exabyte."

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38871

I'm guessing they don't use zip disks.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:24

Morte wrote:

Quote:

Every single rescue dummy manufactured since then has had her face, which means that if you've ever been a lifeguard or had to take CPR training in high school, you have wrapped your lips around the mouth of a 130-year-old dead girl.

Phwoar, eh, lads?!

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Bamba wrote:

I can't comprehend the amount of storage space that must take up.

Once you run YouTube, you get quite relaxed about data storage. You also learn some new SI-prefixes, like "exa" as in "exabyte."

Well, yeah, but that's like saying, "I have a double garage as I need to store my two cars in it so I might as well start hoarding all my hair clippings as well." One is necessary/reasonable and the other just seems a bit mad regardless of whether you can or not.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16732

Pure speculation but won't it retain those to increase the reliability as time goes by?

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Jun 03, 2015 13:30

I'd imagine they use it to train the voice recognition software.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5605

MaliA wrote:

Overnight in Brum tomorrow added bonus of department curry somewhere in Sparkhill. Should be interesting.

There's a decent choice there.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Pffh! You guys with your reasonable arguments!

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14539

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

I found a small frog clinging to the back of our toilet bowl, just under the rim, yesterday morning. It can only have climbed up the soil pipe and through the U bend, but ..... why?

Before anyone asks, didn't flush it, I caught it and released it in the garden.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:50

Sure it wasn't a Natterjack Turd?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:51

Mr Dave wrote:

Morte wrote:

Quote:

Every single rescue dummy manufactured since then has had her face, which means that if you've ever been a lifeguard or had to take CPR training in high school, you have wrapped your lips around the mouth of a 130-year-old dead girl.

Phwoar, eh, lads?!

I miss Dimrill.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14485

Yesterday and today I have been mainly learning about Slaughterhouses. I'm sick to death of talking with slaughter men and every single aspect of their job which, frankly, would mentally destroy me.

If I could manage to go vegetarian I would.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49253

I have a friend who works as an inspector for the HSE down in Cornwall, and used to do inspections and incident response at slaughterhouses and farms. Some unpleasant shit.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14485

I don't think I can image the cruelty that some of these animals undergo in their final moments.

sdg · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 14:43

I interviewed for a job at a 'food manufacturing facility' which turned out to be a slaughterhouse. I was given a tour, starting at the point where packs of mince were being shrink wrapped and going backwards from there, until there was a live cow standing in front of me.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

The skinning was the most gross part along with the carcass that remained after with the eyes still bulging out.

The job was for an electrical maintenance engineer and the factory itself had pretty basic machinery but they cleaned at the end of each day by spraying everything, including electrical cabinets, with high powered jets. :facepalm:

I think basically the job would have involved constantly replacing blown contactors.
When I got home from the interview, I went straight in the shower because I smelled like a butchers counter.

They offered me the job but needless to say I didn't take it.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38871

What if they'd raised the steaks?

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14485

sdg wrote:

I was given a tour, starting at the point where packs of mince were being shrink wrapped and going backwards from there, until there was a live cow standing in front of me.

That alone would make my brain melt.

TheVision · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 14:48

DavPaz wrote:

What if they'd raised the steaks?

Brilliant!

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 16:11

DavPaz wrote:

What if they'd raised the steaks?

Then sdg would have done everything she could to make sure she brought home the bacon.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 17:13

Now we're really getting to the meat of the subject.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

These puns are the wurst.

KovacsC · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 17:22

getting to the heart of the situation.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14485

You guys certainly know how to de liver.

No, hang on, deliver? No, de"liver"? I'm rubbish at this.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 17:34

Saturnalian wrote:

I'm rubbish at this.

True - you're offal.

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Zardoz wrote:

Sure it wasn't a Natterjack Turd?

Bravo!

And saying that in a Dewsburian accent would be even better.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jun 04, 2015 19:13

"Mali! How much blood does a person have?"
"Dunno. Let's find someone, ask how much they weigh and stab them"

Works night going ok

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

8 pints, innit?

At least, I hope it is, or all the times my dad and I have worked out our blood alcohol level we've been waaaay off.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Apropos nothing at all, I recently discovered John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, which is most excellently funny. Also has the most sexy female voice EVER in it.

Bamba · **Joined:** 25th Jul, 2010 **Posts:** 11128

Some kind of iPlayer radio comedy show is my usual accompaniment to housework but there's not always an episode of The Now Show or The News Quiz available so I'll give that a shot next time as an alternative.

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5605

That seems relevant to my interests. Thanks for the tip.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Series 1, 3 and 4 are currently on Youtube.

Also, if you haven't already discovered it, Bleak Expectations is the best radio thing EVER.

"I, Pip Bin, am looking at a broken bin. It is a metaphor or a simile for my own life- I do not know which- but I do not care! For that is the beauty of gin; it makes you carefree of the precise application of literary terms."

Dr Zoidberg · **Joined:** 15th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 5605

Series 1 to 4 are now on my laptop. We loved Cabin Pressure and have also thoroughly enjoyed Bleak Expectations - the War of the Worlds one was a work of genius.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:14

It feels really weird being on the inside of the M25 and not having arrangements to see any of you guys. :/

Kern · **Posted:** Fri Jun 05, 2015 12:13

Can't believe I missed this.

'Cherwell': 'Oxford Union passes motion that it is institutionally racist'

Oh dear.

Quote:

The Oxford Union has today passed a motion that the Union is insitutionally racist, following a public outcry last week over advertising a cocktail in a manner deemed to be racist.

The cocktail was themed to coincide with the debate "‘This House believes Britain owes reparations to her former colonies" and was called, 'The Colonial Comeback!'. One version of the flyer depicted black hands in chains.

Not in the politics thread because, contrary to the Union's opinon of itself, it is not on a par with the House of Commons.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49253

I love the idea that you propose a motion that 'The Union is Institutionally Racist' rather than, y'know, a motion to propose measures to address racism within the union.

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16732

No wonder we're fucked with these fucking chumps running the country.

Satsuma · **Joined:** 20th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14485

I've got one - here goes:

It's thighs to meet you.

There, can I swap that for the last pun? Thanks.

Grim... · **Posted:** Fri Jun 05, 2015 15:28

Not "It's thighs to meat you."?

JBR · **Joined:** 2nd Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 3347

I don't think this quite fits in the politics thread or threads, but I'd just like to share my admiration for Baillie Gifford. Investment trusts are probably not usually the sexiest things, but for some reason this firm stands apart from the others - maybe just because they're outside the usual circle of London based firms. Their Scottish Mortgage fund has done very well - more than tripled what I've put in over 10 years.

But that's just by way of introduction. From their latest strategic report:

Quote:

There is still precious little evidence that the financial system has meaningfully reformed itself. Indeed the saga of corrupted incentives and unjustified greed continues apace. Banks that once had some claim to relative moral authority and practical leadership such as HSBC and JPMorgan have shown themselves to be as out of control as their presumed inferiors.

If only they wouldn't spout the same platitudes as everyone else. Just come off the fence a bit, eh?

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits & Bobs 45
is the name of your sextape.

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Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits & Bobs 45 is the name of your sextape.

Who is online

Bits & Bobs 45
is the name of your sextape.