Findus Fop wrote:
I'd been pondering a while about contacting you to see if you'd be interested in illustrating a children's book I'm playing around with. That looks like exactly what we need.
It's very, very cold in Antarctica, where a team of brave Americans are living in a camp. A silly man from the Norwegian camp crashes a helicopter near the American camp. A different but just as silly man from the Norwegian camp tries to shoot the brave Americans with a gun, but the Garry the Station Commander shoots him first. The brave Americans send their pilot RJ to the Norwegian camp, and he takes the team doctor with him to see if he can help.
Oh no! The Norwegian camp has burned down. Dr. Copper and RJ the Pilot find a burned body with two faces, which they think is very strange indeed. They take it back to the American camp. One of the brave Americans is called Blair, and he knows lots and lots about animals and plants. He is a biologist. He cuts open the burned body with two faces but everything inside is normal.
They put the burned body with two faces into the kennels with their sled dogs. Oh no! The burned body with two faces is a malamute! It turns into a scary monster and absorbs the sled dogs. The brave Americans run to see what is happening - will the malamute get them too? Thank goodness Childs the Mechanic is carrying his favourite flame thrower! He burns the malamute until it is dead. Ha ha! Ha ha! Blair the Biologist cuts open the new burned body and learns that the malamute can pretend to be other creatures very, very well.
The brave Americans go to a big hole in the floor, and see a flying saucer. Norris, who is very clever with rocks, thinks the flying saucer has been buried for a very, very long time. Blair the Biologist is scared, and thinks the malamute could kill everything on Earth. Oh no! While everybody else is just arriving back from the big hole, the burned malamute comes back to life and absorbs Bennings the Weather-man! Windows, who is in charge of the radio, surprises the malamute before it finishes absorbing Bennings, and RJ the Pilot burns it with Childs the Mechanic's flame thrower. Whoosh! Whoosh!
Oh no! Blair the Biologist is so scared of the malamute escaping that he smashes up all the cars, kills all the sled dogs and breaks the radio. Now the brave Americans are stuck with the malamute. The brave Americans are very cross with Blair the Biologist, so they lock him in a tool shed. They are also cross with Garry the Station Commander, and RJ the Pilot becomes their new leader. Fuchs the Spare Biologist is so scared of being absorbed that he burns himself to death.
Oh no! Someone has been inside RJ the Pilot's house. RJ the Pilot, Windows the Radio-man and Nauls the Cook go and see what has happened. All of RJ the Pilot's clothes have been torn up. This makes Windows the Radio-man and Nauls the Cook scared, because they think RJ the Pilot is really a malamute just pretending to be RJ the Pilot. They run away from him in a snowstorm and tell the other brave Americans, who don't want to let RJ the Pilot back in. RJ the Pilot breaks in anyway, and tells him he'll blow them all up with dynamite. Norris, who knows about rocks, is so scared he dies of fright. Oh no!
Dr. Copper fetches a special machine that can make lots of electricity and bring people back to life. He uses the machine on Norris who knows about rocks, but Norris who knows about rocks is really a malamute, and he bites off Dr. Coppers arms! RJ the Pilot shoots at the malamute with his flame thrower. RJ the Pilot thinks of a clever test so they can tell which of them is really just a malamute doing pretending. Clark, who used to look after the dogs before they were all brutally killed, doesn't like this idea and fights with RJ the Pilot. RJ the Pilot shoots him, making Childs the Mechanic angry.
To see if people are just pretending, RJ the Pilot gets a little bit of everyone's blood and dips a hot wire into it. Everyone passes the test except for Palmer the spare mechanic, whose blood runs away from the hot wire! Palmer the spare mechanic transforms into a monster and tries to absorb Windows the Radio-man, but RJ the Pilot blows them both up with dynamite. Boom! Boom!
Childs the Mechanic stands guard while the remaining brave Americans go to test Blair the Biologist's blood. Blair the Biologist was locked in the tool shed, but he escaped and tried to build a small spaceship out of the base's vehicles. When they get back to their camp they find that Childs the Mechanic has gone missing, and the electricity generator is broken. RJ the Pilot thinks that they will all freeze to death, and the malamute will absorb the people who will rescue them, so they decide to blow up the base to kill the malamute. While they set up the explosives Blair the Biologist kills Garry the Station Commander and Nauls the Cook vanishes.
Oh no! Blair the Biologist has turned into a giant monster and breaks the detonator, which the brave Americans needed to blow up the base. But clever RJ the Pilot has more dynamite, and sets off the explosives using that. Boom! Boom!
While RJ the Pilot sits near the fire to keep warm, Childs the Mechanic comes back. He says he had been chasing Blair the Biologist, but got lost in the snow. RJ the Pilot doesn't believe him, and thinks he's pretending. Childs the Mechanic thinks that RJ the Pilot is pretending too. They both laugh because it doesn't matter if either of them is pretending because they are very tired, and will freeze to death soon. Brr! Brr!
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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.