Be Excellent To Each Other

Anyone that read my AWESOME RECIPE!

"I don't play much sport but I hump for Britain"

http://storify.com/Eamonn_Forde/noel-edmonds-biography-compressed-for-twitter

[jaw hits floor]

No successes though?

In the spirit of "know your enemy" I've just finished reading my next door neighbours autobiography (part 1 of a series by the looks). He comes across as a vile tosser who has a completely different set of values to my own. About to start on his dads life story, doubt that will go much better.

INTERESTING FACT:
Tries are so named because they originally allowed you to have a "try" at a conversion kick, and weren't worth any points.

Why does Marx's toilet play music when it flushes?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

Why does he insist on insipid, caffeine-free infusions, drunk from a plastic beaker?

Because all proper tea is theft.

That's the best kind of autobiography! Is he in showbiz? I love a shit showbiz book. The more low rent the celeb and the more shit the writing, the better.



That is the gold standard, as previously reviewed on here.

For anyone who can't locate a copy of Don Estelle's stunning work (let alone shell out the upwards of 40 quid for a copy so rare and sought after it is), Ed Stewart's pile of shit can be picked up for pennies. Mine cost 2p + P&P.

Who do you live next door to? Go on, you know you want to name drop.

Briliant parting shot about legal aid cuts in Sir Alan Ward's judgment. http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Civ/2013/234.html
Litigants in person are a nightmare.

cavey

PM sent.

Did you drive Cavey out of the house next door? You bastard.

Given we are in the process of buying this house as "we can move in and nothing needs to be done" imagine my surprise when MrsA yesterday listed redecorating the whole of the second floor and changing the bathroom as "things we have got to change". She also asked if the sun will still rise in the same place in the mornings, so I can only assume the rioja demon stole her mind or something.

You working on the nursery first?

Don't you fucking start as well. One of the first things Mummy Afterthought said to MrsA at the weekend was "I love holding babies".

Wimmins be crazy for babies, yo.

Mummy Afterthought just crazy: "What's in a crispy duck pancake?" she asked. And spent 4 days sitting around our house in a wooly hat and eight layers.

Aaaah, that's where you get it from.

Do what the husband did at a wedding I attended a couple of years ago. Loudly pronounce that you would "have her pregnant in no time" during the wedding breakfast so that half the room would hear. He meant it and he did. Judging by the speed of it all, probably in the disabled loo about 10 minutes after he proclaimed this.

Horse.

The Pipettes read The Manual. I should have known.

..O
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Littlejohn and Piers Morgan are trapped in a chemical warehouse that is burning down. You HAVE to save one of them. Who do you choose?

The warehouse.

ooops, I slipped and failed to save either of them,

Actually, on the basis of where I am right now this second and every day of my working life, it would be an idea to save Littlejohn.

Is anyone else slightly uncomfortable with Manchester Police deciding that thumping an emo or goth is now a hate crime in their eyes? Would they feel the same way about someone getting thumped who happeened to be wearing an <insert name of team here> football shirt?

I've got no idea what it actually means. What do they do differently for hate crimes?

They pay slightly more attention, and harsher punishments for it being a crime done because of race, age, sex, etc. And now, emo and goffs.

Well if it's been a particular problem then maybe they should pay more attention. Is it the terminology which concerns you?

I think it is the thought pricking in the back of my mind that some sub cultures might be more favored than others, which isn't a great solution. Also, I don't think the police should decide things like this themselves.

I mean, I think, taking a middle class Goth being ebaten up more seriously than a track suit wearing pov sits uncomfortably with me.

Yeah, I know what you mean. But, you know, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, it's hardly anything new even if the language has changed.

It's nothing to do with being a "favoured" subculture. A person was beaten and stamped to death because of the way she looked. That's a hate crime no matter which subculture they're from. I'm sure if a mod was murdered in a similar way they'd look more closely into violence against them.

From what I read in the Beeb report, I thought they were treating all subculture violence as a hate crime. Not just goths.

And me, but I would assume their thinking is that hardly anybody (one hopes) is beaten up or killed because they were wearing a tracksuit, whereas violent dickheads do frequently target people for wearing other shit they don't like, or because they look 'funny' or 'weird' or 'stupid' to them, etc...

Ed: yeah, what Dimrill said.

I myself was targeted last time I went to Chester by tracksuit wearing dickwads in Liverpool shirts. Just because of my clothes and hat.

You blue bastard.



[for some reason I had a mental image of Dimrill wearing a Smurf hat. Dunno why. Long day.]

Sorry to hear that, Dimrill. I get a lot of verbal shit in Liverpool, but thankfully I haven't had to physically defend myself in 10+ years...

"Stop smurfing yourself!" they shouted.

Coming over here, stealing our jobs, and screwing our Smurfettes.

It's alright, I fixed it by not going out of the house anymore.

Do you still wear clothes and a hat?

Nope, there are separate offences with higher penalties for Racially Aggravated Assault, and the like, but not for "white makeup aggravated assault".

At the moment is purely a statistics exercise to see how common (or not) a problem it is.

For tougher sentences, there would need to be a change in the law which is unlikely to happen.

Two hours later!

Agree, totally. I was pitching at an audience with lower experience/knowledge. At risk of sounding a bit of a twat.

It's not really "favouring" anyone, it's realising that some minority groups are (unfortunately) targeted. Same with say homosexuals or members of certain ethnic minorities, those are sub-cultures in effect, groups perceived a negatively 'different' by the dominant majority's cultural norms. Essentially it's recognising that there's no practical difference between goth-bashing and gay-bashing or kicking in people because they aren't white (or the 'right' variety of white people). Perfectly logical really.

Do you want the police deciding these groups, or the courts? Who decides who is worthy of protection?

Is this really a new Futurama?

No. It's bits & bobs 39.... Futurama is that way.

I'm not wholly comfortable with the reasoning behind any sort of "it's extra bad because of a specific motivation" offences. Any assault is serious, regardless of why the dick did it, and they should all be sentenced on the same, preferably harsh, basis. Getting stamped on is getting stamped on, whatever the stampers are shouting while they do it.