Be Excellent To Each Other

Two of my little fishies had babies last night. Their mother ate them all fairly promptly afterwards, but still.

I made curried meatballs in pittas on Saturday, and they were lovely.

The Burny Pee update hits today.

That is all for now.

Painting my face like The Joker, like I did on Friday night... That makes me happy in a strange way.

.... I got nothing.

.... No wait - Geo Wars 2.

Fencing, apparently.

Listening to William Shatner's Has Been is wonderful.

It shouldn't be. And it technically isn't. But it still is.

As in garden repair or gentlemanly combat-cum-stylistic-dancing?

Sadly the former on this occasion.

I used to do fencing with swords many years ago. I'm trying to find a club in my area but have so far been unsuccessful. Possibly because I haven't looked very hard. Or because they're hiding and are a super-secret fight club for Gentlemen of Distinction, and I haven't grown a moustache yet.

My boss seems particularly pleased with my radical ideas for changing our existing pants/bodged database system into a mega-ace contraption designed and built entirely by me, thus justifying my existance and helping to guarantee my continued employment for the foreseeable future.

Aside from that my life is a torturous unending misery, with cheap food.

Actually I'll tell you what has genuinely had me happy for hours, and made me laugh so hard that I had tears in my eyes.

So nicholas cage was in a remake of the wickerman. And no one saw it as it was obviously going to be awful.

But it turns out that the remake of the Wicker man out of context is the funniest thing I've ever seen,

First up:

[/spoiler]

Secondly and it takes a while to get going but is amazing:



The future is awesome.

Perhaps you could make a foray into pron acting to break the monotony of the misery, Comical?

Hey! That could be next month's challenge.

Pimp that Pimp?


As for happy things, I am currently re-reading Chesterton's 'Napoleon of Notting Hill' and loving every word.

I'm not really miserable, I'm actually super-awesome, moreso after seeing that Wickerman youtube stuff, hahahahaha.

You're monthly challenge is to star in the longest gay porn scene ever, "how slow can you blow".

Splendid to hear it! However, this is no reason not to undertake Gaywood's gay pron challenge.

Each week CG is faced with another increasingly unattractive man, and is faced with either gaying it up, or getting spayed.

"You Gay or we Spay"

iPods.

iPods make me happy.

What makes me even happier is knowing that so many people here are bound to hate them, but not me!

I have an iPod, I am drawing around my iPod.

All is good.

I am about to go to the market to buy poppers (the haberdashers kind, not the kind my dentist gave me once...)

But I'm not gay

Actually nothing would make me happier than to be superglued to a pair of lushious lady-boobs for a month.

Having a surf on Saturday made me happy.

Now i'm back at Mali Towers, having returned from the DWP (seriously, I got the bus down there, arrived bang on time, had a 3 minute chat and back on the next bus) I'm at a loss of what to do for the rest of the day. Apart from get to the doctors to solve my deafness. And the mole on my neck which apparently is 'bad' as it has a hair growing out of it, so I'm probably going to die of cancer next week.

Wouldn't be a challenge if you were!

Well, that solves the job-hunting worries, at least.

I've just discovered The Lancashire Hotpots.

Oh, no
He’s turned Emo
He’s dressing like a goth
And he’s let himself go
He used to be listening to Simply Red
now he’s listening to Fall Out Boy instead

"The knowledge that tings will get better" is making me happy at the moment.

I'm off to church innna bit for a biscuit and glass of wine.

Cock off, hippy.

I was just talking about me.

Having new Marks and Spencers boxer shorts makes me feel happy. Almost as happy as being in love.

Ooh - I have recently replaced my entire underwear collection with M&S woven cotton boxers, and am a significantly happier man for it.

Well estimates vary as to how long it will be before everything turns to shit. Personally I'm going with the longer ones and banking on being dead by then (not that I'm not concerned enough to do what I can).

I was chatting to a geologist who works the oilfields in the North Sea. The way that oil reserves are calculated is incredibly convoluted but basically the current higher prices mean that there's very much more "left" than there was before.

I need an underpant cull soon, the elastic in some has petrified long ago and only stay on due to them molding to my body over the years.

Get the fuck out of my happy things thread, bitches.

Same here, also my drawer is full of socks that are unwearable due to holes. I don't know why I hang on to them.

edit: @ Zardoz

We should go underwear shopping at the weekend.

Sorry Craster.

OK the baby seagulls on the roof opposite my window are making me happy. I've watched them since they hatched a few weeks ago and they're now flapping their wings in readiness to make their first flights. Also their mum brutally attacked the guy whose house it is when he went up on a ladder to clean his gutters.

I'll probably just manage till Christmas and get santa to bring me some.

You can still tag along with me while I try new trollies and let me know what you think though.

Much better!

I went to Hever Castle yesterday, birthplace of Anne Boleyn and all round fabulous Tudor place. Even more splendidly, the "Knights of Royal England" were having a jousting display, so we go to see people wallop each other with swords and fall off horses. Made me most happy.

I rang up the UK Borders Agency, or whatever they're calling themselves this week, and asked how I renew my wife's visa. Good news - we can go to Croydon and have it done same day. Bad news - we have to go to Croydon. And it costs £950. (There's a £750 option, but that takes up to fourteen weeks and our families have paid for plane tickets for us to the US in October so we can see the wife's family, who she's not seen for two years.)

So I checked my bank account. After deducting the stuff from the current balance that has to come out - rent, Council Tax, etc. - I have worked out that I have somewhere in the region of £0 to last the three and half weeks until payday. That's no money to get two adults, a car and a cat through three and a half weeks.

Which is, obviously, impossible. Especially as I have to order a passport this month. And the car needs an MOT. And my insurance is due to run out in a couple of weeks. And I only have half a tank of petrol. And, you know, it would be nice to have more to eat each day than one evening meal of dry pasta with nothing on it.

And, just in case you forgot, we need an extra £950 before the end of the month.

My credit rating is shot to buggery - the reason we've got no money is basically because I'm having to make payments I can't afford on debts I can't afford - so I can't borrow the money. Not from any banks, not from friends, not from family.

So either I find, realistically, £1,500 - at the very least - from somewhere in the next week or, um, I don't think there's an or.

Oh, and there are some very scary health issues in the household at the moment, too. Like, properly so. But I won't go into those.

It's really a case of fall into a heap and cry with abject terror or just decide to be insanely cheerful. I seem to have chosen the latter, so I'm feeling very chipper, while some part of my mind I'm choosing to ignore sits in the background quivering the dark.

I can't say that life is boring right now. It's so easy just to wander through life without taking much notice of it - right now I feel really alive and there are things that really fucking matter. And if that's not a reason to be happy, nothing is.

Course, I'll be much happier when I work out how to get the money I need, but one step at a time, eh?

You should probably wash them some time, dude.

Fucking hell, the Croydon tramlink has gotten expensive since I left London.

It's all Ken's fault. Or Boris's.

Only with four kids to feed. I've got about 30p until Friday and need to put fuel in my car too. I NEED a job!

Just to add to the above, I've just checked the form we have to fill in for the wife's visa. It requires a lot of documentation. That needs to be spread out over the last two years. Which we don't have.

I'm hoping that as it's just to prove that we've been living together what we do have will be enough. We'll take along some photos of us together and maybe I'll ask our families to provide references and suchlike.

This has just made me smile.

I saw one of them at the cinema at 2:00pm once.