Be Excellent To Each Other

I've hesitated several times before posting this here (I'm thinking twice about it even as I type), but I've decided the more information the better.

So, my wife is due to have this op in the near future (most likely May/June) and we're both scared shitless. She has myomas/fibroids the size of tangerines and the recommendation is for a hysterectomy. In the best case scenario it may be laporoscopic, if she waits a bit longer it might be an abdominal incision.

Needless to say, I've done all the internet research and am aware of the basic facts - the reason I'm asking here is to hear something a bit more personal if anyone has any direct or indirect experience with a partner/friend/relative. I realise my wife and I are above the average age for this place.

Recovery time, experience with the general anaesthetic, anything really.

Many thanks in advance.

One of my friend's wife had one. I can try and find details.

PM'd some info but anyone in that situation should research to see if Fibroid Embolisation is an option. Did some work with a pioneer in the field a couple of years ago and frankly it seems like a much better option. NHS don't like it as its expensive and new but things are gradually changing.

I am not an expert, just reporting what I saw.

Good luck Mr(&Mrs)C. I've got no experience of anything like this, but sending you both positive vibes to get through this.

Much like Dimrill I have no experience in this area but I would like to offer my thoughts to you both.

My best wishes too.

I know Mrs Zs mum had the procedure done due to fibroids. Ill ask about recovery time etc and let you know how it went for her.

I'm crying as I write this, Mrs C is my all and everything. I'm so grateful for your responses. Mrs C, she's Hanna btw, will probably/hopefully feel the same.

Just wanted to say thank you to Kovacs, Zardoz, Dimrill, Vision and especially Chin ( I haven't looked at the links yet, but I will, much appreciated) Hope I didn't forget anyone - this kind of thing restores my faith in humanity. Thanks again.

I have utterly no knowledge or experience of this whatsoever, but bestest of best wishes to her and you.

My mum had the op a few days after her 40th birthday. That was 22 years ago. She's had hormone therapy and the like, but her health is better than before it was done.

Fingers crossed for you, good buddy

Like others, I've got no advice to give but you have my very best wishes.

Again, like most people here I've got nothing to offer but my best wishes to you and your wife.

Wish I could, but I can't offer anything but my thoughts and wishes on you both getting through this difficult time.

Just wanted to say thanks to you all - this is way beyond what I'd expect as an occasional niche poster. Thanks for the support, very much appreciated.

We are all nice here.

Mt friend is a lot better since she had hers, weight control is better and a lot healthier...

Mrs Z just told me her mum was under general for the op and took her a couple of months to recover. Told not to do anything strenuous at all.

That's all we've got left now, isn't it?

Niche poster? Don't be daft!

Best wishes to you and yours, sir.

My mum had this in her late 40s, abdominal incision and she was up and about in a pretty short period of time < under 4 weeks, fully mobility in less than 2 months (I can't really remember fully, I was a teenager so was a twat). Obviously it depends on person to person.

Obviously, I can't talk about the hormone aspect, but I had stomach surgery a couple of years ago, full 10 inch incision right down the centre of my stomach through all the muscles, so can talk about recovery from that sort of process. I was back in work after 4 weeks, part time, full time after 6, again YMMV. I won't bore you with details as hopefully she will be having keyhole, but if you want more info, just ask. What I will say though is that it is amazing what you use your stomach muscles for that you don't realise until it hurts like fuck to use them!

Hope all goes well, and don't worry, it will all be fine!

MrC!

My Mother had this done about 20 odd years ago, I remember it fairly well as she cared for my grandparents, so I had to do it while she couldn't and had to look after her a bit too. She had the full works done, was in hospital for about a week (I think they let her home after five days because she had me). She couldn't do much for the first couple of weeks, couldn't go further than the bathroom (downstairs) or lift a kettle (had to make sure there was only a cup of water in it at a time etc) I think it was a couple of weeks before she was up to going out of the house. They said back then that it would take about six months for her to heal properly, but I remember noticing a marked difference in her recovery after about two months. Also, medicine has moved on in leaps and bounds in that time too.

I don't know about the hormone part, I remember her bursting into tears when my grandparents visited her in the hospital, but that could have been because she'd just had a major op. She's always been miserable/moody/depressed, so difficult to see any difference (that and I avoid her as much as I can).

Tldr: Attitude makes a difference, and the people around you. It's a very standard procedure these days, and quite easy to put a few things in place when she comes home to help her.

Good luck with it all, she really will be fine and feel so much better afterwards.

I'm sorry I can't give you any advice or information, but I want to add my best wishes for you and Mrs C - anything like this sucks to go through, and after some stuff with First Born a few years ago I can certainly sympathise with worrying about a loved one in this way.

I have no extra info, but I also wish her the best and I'm sure everything will go well and I hope she feels much better afterwards!

All the best.

Best wishes to Hanna and yourself, dude My Mum also had this op. done shortly after I was born, and recovered really well from it and in short order. I don't know much else than this.

However, my understanding is that it is one of the more common operations carried out in the UK, and that complications are pretty rare and not usually serious when they occur

Best wishes.

A quick word from my wife, Hanna, just back from a late shift.......

The worst is the thought of the general anaesthetic, because I've never had an op in my life. The embolisation thing scares me too. I know I should go through with this and it is very kind of you to be supportive. Thank you all.

(Also thanks from me again).

Regarding embolisation, if it's an option then it's not a full operation. IIRC you don't even have a full general anaesthetic. It's all high technology stuff that involves a small incision and zapping the fibroids. No cutting beyond the initial "getting in". The fibroids literally wither and die.

General? You won't even know about it. Hey you are injecting my zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. [wake up half hour later confused]

However I am not an expert. Ask around, do your research and seek independent advice. The case studies I looked at, in one case the woman was being pressured into a hysterectomy by the NHS when she actually had embolisation instead in the end.

Remember, BEEX is not expert on these things though. I can tell you what GX4000 games are good but you need independent professional advice. Hell, 98% of us don't even have lady bits and 10% of the forum has never even seen a real woman naked,

Completely understandable to be concerned of the anaesthetic. I've only been knocked out once when I was a small child for dental stuff so can't really remember, but the wife's been under a few times now and it doesn't bother her at all now. Honestly, you'll look back at this and think the worst thing is the boredom as you recover in bed for a week or more That's what got to my Ma-in-law when she had her gallbladder out through keyhole surgery.

@Chinny
There appears to be another option - there's a clinic in Berlin that will pop you in an MRI and zap the fibroids with ultrasound. As far as I'm aware, though, we'd have to pay for that ourselves and I think it's aimed more at people who still want to have kids and don't want the necessary bits snipped out. This is not an issue for us, plus my wife has considerable trouble with periods which would go away after a successful hysterectomy.

@Dimrill
The main issue with the general is neither of us has been through it before. We're both reasonably rational and realise it will probably be OK. Thing is, it's one thing reading the statistics and another when all of a sudden you're a statistic yourself (also Hanna has a few risk factors - a wee bit overweight, sleep apnoea and arryhthmia).

At the risk of boring you all into an early grave, I have to say thanks again to all of you, especially the info from GJ and Bobbyaro. Every comment was helpful, this is indeed an excellent place.

Good luck to both of you with this. I knew a lady in her 30s who had this done and she was off work for 8 weeks afterwards and when she came back couldn't lift anything heavier than a kettle, couldn't stand for long periods etc.

The thing that stood out for me was how despondent she was afterwards, but that was because she really didn't want the op but had to have it done.

Best wishes to you both, I'm sure it'll be fine. On operations and general anaesthetic I'd never been put under and then I had two operations last year on my knee, I was really nervous for the first one but woke up feeling pretty nice and then totally normal after about an hour or so (apart from the bit I'd had the operation on obv). So I was completely unconcerned about the second. Not that this really helps Mrs C since she'll only be having one operation but modern anaesthetics and anaesthetists are pretty good at putting you out enough but also only as much as you need to be.

I was terrified of getting a general anaesthetic before having sinus surgery a few years back. Oddly the idea of them sticking a knife up my nose and cutting away at something a couple of millimetres from my brain held no fear, but the concept of being made unconscious absolutely terrified me, so I understand where you're coming from.

The good thing is that it was actually a really pleasant experience! I was expecting it to be some horrible 'lights out' moment, but the anaesthetist was really friendly, and the drugs take effect really slowly. First it makes you feel a little woozy, like being drunk, and then it slowly takes you into a sleepy mood, and then you basically fall asleep. It was surprisingly good fun!

So, my advice is don't make it bigger in your head than it actually is. Anaesthesia is fun!

And hard to spell correctly.

I've had general anaesthtic twice - as Chinny and Curio said, it's fine, you just fall asleep then wake up a bit puzzled as to where you are. Nothing to it. I'll admit I was a bit worried the first time, but anesthetists are, generally, pretty ace people and are very good at reassuring you.

That's actually very helpful information, makes the whole thing sound rather less scary - I'll show it to MrsC when she gets back from the dentist. My wife is a nurse (if there are any pervs out there who fantasize about that kind of thing, then yes, it is as good as you think) so if anything she's slightly less worried than I am. I have a bit of a doctorphobia myself - I know it's irrational, but the knowledge doesn't help one jot. I try not to infect her with it, though, as far as possible.

I had to have a GA when I had my appendix out. The anaesthetist came and had a chat with me on the wards before the op to check if I was allergic to anything/had any other medical problems/had any questions etc. They gave me a pill to relax me about 30 mins before I went to theatre (I wasn't bothered about the operation, but I was in a lot of pain). When I was in pre-op they were talking me through everything and did the count backwards from 10 thing, I don't remember anything past seven. When I woke up it was like I'd had a really good, deep sleep. A bit woozy but refreshed too.

Oh, yeah - I did have a GA when they took my tonsils out. Clearly wasn't particularly stressful, given that I'd forgotten!

I had a general when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. It was absolutely zero bother, like other people have said.. It was just like being a really good sleep!

The worst part was having the teeth removed and eating nothing but mushed up Shredded Wheat for 2 weeks.

Really? I got given two nurofen and went from the dentists into work.

Yep.. I've heard other people that had the same happen.

I had all four out at the same time but the ones at the bottom were growing sideways so I they were quite deep seated. Judging by the pain I was in for a few days after, they were quite hard to pull out.

I had to have three operations when I was a young kid (around 5 - 7 years old), then another again for some fairly major dental work. Each time I was knocked out with the gas. It's nothing to be scared of. Obviously having to breath through a mask is a bit scary and the gas itself smells/tastes like evil, but like GJ said, you're out for the count in no time - I don't think I got much past 7 in the countdowns I had to do. When you wake up, you feel like you've been out for hours, so it's a bit confusing when you get told it was more like 15 minutes!

Injection is better than gas. I was scared of needles but after having gas for one op I had the needle after that. Needle was far quicker to knock you out than gas was.

Incidentally, going back to the fibroid treatment, that's just done with a local + some happy pills. One of the ladies I spoke to said once they kicked in she was conscious but couldn't have cared less what was going on.

Ah with the general I actually do have experience
I am a girl, 40 years old and very over weight and have some risk factors as well
last time I went under was three years ago, it was unplanned (giving birth went great, baby was great, after that not so great + rush to OR)
People were really nice and I was really happy everything with the baby had gone well so I didn't care about the hoopla and was chatting and joking. They put me under with an IV fluid as I already had a thing in my hand and it was exactly like falling asleep
When I woke up I felt very confused as people were talking to me but I really wasn't with it yet. When I was really awake I didn't feel so great because I was flat on my back and coughing and my throat was sore. This was presumably from the tube that had been in my throat and I have severe astma so I didn't like it. But after about half an hour I felt absolutely completely fine again and I was wheeled back to my normal room and it was like it never happened. I still had the IV in my hand and they left a bag of generic fluids in for a good while, but that didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I never had any problems from it afterwards at all.

Do they still even use gas these days? Here it's definitely IV. One of the reasons I worry is the sleep apnoea thing - my wife hasn't been to the sleep lab for this, but did have to hook herself up to some device for one night - it detected a few episodes during the night, but apparently it was within the "normal" range.

When I went under to have a couple of wisdom teeth out, it was IV. I remember a burning sensation in my hand moving up my arm before I felt my eyes lose focus. Last thing I remember was not the pretty nurse but the large picture of a friendly cartoon monster stuck to the ceiling, supposedly to reassure younger patients that he will come and eat them everything will be fine.

I remember coming round as I was being trolleyed back to the ward, bolting up right with a big grin on myself saying 'I've worked out what's going on!'.

I then had bad shakes for the next couple of hours as it worked its way out of the system.

I wouldn't worry about sleep apnoea, I'm pretty sure they insert a breathing tube after the anaesthetic goes in. You wake up with a tiny bit of a sore throat from where it's been.

Try to stop fretting if you can, she'll be fine.

You definitely have a point there, sir. I really do need to shut the fuck up about this (I'm not being sarcastic in any way, I genuinely believe you're right).

Someone taught me how to not worry about things once. It basically boils down to not worrying about things that haven't happened. It goes deeper than that but you're right.. You should not worry about it. Put all that effort and thought into looking after your wife... And keeping us up to date with how you're both doing!

Only if you ask for it. I did, it was a mistake. I should have listened to all the people who said it would be a mistake.

As someone else said, when they injected me all I felt was something cold shoot up my arm and then I was spark out.

Gas was slower and frankly felt like you were getting very dizzy before passing out.

I've had lots of operations. I've never made it past eight. Usually nine. Being put under has always been straight from wide awake to fast asleep, nothing in between, but I am happy for that.

Waking up is as if from a deep sleep. Slightly confusing as you're usually in a different room from the one you fell asleep in, but then you get a drink and after half an hour or so maybe a biscuit. And often a buxom nurse to fuss over you. Say your neck hurts and her boobs will end up in your face as they put an extra pillow beneath your head. Pro-tip.

I woke up in pain from the op and as soon as they had checked me over they injected morphine in my arse and all my worries were over for the afternoon.

Good advice.