Be Excellent To Each Other

WELCOME TO THE ARENA.

Everything is dark. You are an angular, misshapen Pac-Man, with a gun.

With a wet, slapping ZZAP sound, another piece of geometry appears in the distance, slightly too far to see.

This demands your attention! But do you turn to page 5 to go in for a closer look, or turn to page 10 to run away in the other direction?

Page ten.. Page ten... PAGE TEN!!!!

Keeping our thumbs in the current page in case we choose wrong, obv.

Powering up your thrusters, you turn tail and floosh off into opposite corner in your zargly spacecraft. As you do so, you hear further wet ZZAP! sounds, now closer to you. You narrowly avoid collding with a blue spiral, before shortly coming to the stop in the corner.

Your craft turns, to survey the field of battle before you. You can make out several distinct shapes on the horizon now, slow-moving but colourful. The blue spiral is veering closer. You should stop it now, before it gets too near.

Do you fire your death lasers (turn to page 12), or drop a bomb on those assembled (page 14)?

Fire lasers! 12!

Laughing dismissively at the blue spiral cur, you squeeze the trigger in expectation of seeing your foe eat electric death.

Nothing happens. The blue spiral veers closer, but now more towards the left side of you. Do you try a bomb (turn to page 16), retreat further into your corner (page 18), or zoom away to your right (page 20)?

Oh Lord, are we playing King? Someone else choose what to do.

Use a bomb, USE A BOMB!! 16

With somewhat less uncertainty than before, you still manage a derisive sneer as you stab at the plastic red button marked 'Bomb'. Nothing happens. A bead of sweat forms on the nape of your neck. The blue spiral, now with less room to manouvere, is now almost at you.

Do you speed quickly along the left wall (page 24), or zoom hastily along the right? (page 26)

Left - always go left!

But going left will penn you in! I say zoom hastily along the right? (page 26)

Use a bomb, USE A BOMB!!

GO RIGHT.

We just used a bomb - it's not one of the options now! Stop cheating!

Craster chooses to go left (page 24).

Your craft speeds off to the left. The blue spiral draws near. As you are about to meet, it starts moving away to the right; you seize your stick and force your vessel mightily into this new-found passage. You congratulate yourself on wisely/luckily not choosing instead to be hasty.

Suddenly and without warning, a circle ringed in fire bursts forth from underneath you.

Do you speed on, conscious that the blue spiral may yet be closing from the rear (turn to page 30), mash the control panel wildly for an 'eject' button (32), or wait and hope you've not been noticed (page 34)?

Eh up!

So it's first come first served on choices rather than majority? Or does Craster cohabitate with you too?

This is so unfair! And no Geons, where are the Geons?

Nah, I just get in on the gay action.

And yeah, it's first come first served, bitch! The page has turned, move on!

Page 30, obv. Right?

Well it is now you've said it!

[Scarysheep3000 chose to move on (page 30)]

Firing up your thrusters, you burst forward, deciding to free yourself from the confines of the fiery ring. Within mere moments, it is far behind you.

All around you is dark. You can hear wet ZZAP! sounds in nearly all directions.

Do you press on (page 36), veer left (page 38), veer right (page 40), go back the way you came (page 42), or sit and wait (page 44)?

Veer right (page 40)!

[Zardoz chose to veer right (page 40)]

On the left side of your craft, concealed retro rockets adjust your velocity, sending your craft hurtling on but now towards the right. All around you is dark. You can hear wet ZZAP! sounds in nearly all directions.

Do you press on (page 46), veer left (page 48), veer right (page 50), go back the way you came (page 52), or sit and wait (page 54)?

Veer right (page 40)!

[You are currently on page 40]

P50! p50! page FifTY!

I heard this game had good graphics.

Yes. And the wettest Zzaps this side of Dimrills faulty vibe.

[Zardoz chose to veer right (page 50)]

On the left side of your craft, concealed retro rockets adjust your velocity, sending your craft hurtling on but now towards the right. All around you is dark. You can hear wet ZZAP! sounds in nearly all directions.

They sound rather closer and plentiful now. The horizon has a faint neon glow, as if you were on some hellish planet that never has a true, dark night anymore.

Do you press on (page 56), veer left (page 58), veer right (page 60), go back the way you came (page 62), or sit and wait (page 64)?

Go back! (Page 62)

[Rev Owen chose to go back (page 62)]

Wishing that you had headlights, you put it in neutral, then reverse, and ecruise back the way you came. Backwards. But, at least you know there's nothing chasing up on you! Nothing from that direction.

You see the glimmer of the fiery ring lighting up your behind. You are beside it, its scorching edge mere metres from your craft.

Suddenly, three blue diamonds burst out of the darkness, racing directly for you. Blue seems a good friendly colour - it may be that these are your allies. They should arrive fairly soon.

Do you go forward to greet them (page 70), penetrate the threshold of the burning ring (page 72), or look around inside of the craft for some clue (page 74)?

Page 72!!

Burning ring... Fnarr!!

[Thought I had replied, sorry. Site's definitely being flakey today.

Anyway. Discuss! Strategise! I've realised that 'first come first served' is a bit boring to read (for me at least), and it means I'm doing alllll the work here, darlings. So, argue for a bit first, then reach a consensus and stuff. Or at least, have three or four mouthy shites who all agree on summat]

Use a bomb, USE A BOMB!!

Well, there's been no weapons so far so I imagine that it's a pacifism level... That's what I imagine anyway, so going to the burning ring would buy you a few seconds respite!

Also, if you're actually sitting in a geometry wars ship, isn't the whole world 2D so you'd just see lines? That's my thought... sorry.. carry on the story! I like it!

You can't fire on king unless you're in the ring either.

Pacifism doesn't have rings.

I'm reminded that was CUS was pretty funny at times but then got tedious. JUST LIKE THIS THREAD, aye?

It's the Rev's birthday today.