Be Excellent To Each Other

Hay now. Be nice.

Who wouldn't?

Craster would be first to start though.

Thrrrrrrrppppp!

If you put Craster in a field with cows he starts carving off choice cuts to sous-vide.

In a butchers, sure. But you're forgetting that they're alive.

They'd soon overpower him, rip out his ginger pubes and restyle themselves into Highland cattle.

I'm getting back into fighting shape. I reckon I could take a cow.

From behind?

From any direction. I'm nothing if not adaptable.

I've heard they're especially good if you lay down and then the cow sits on top of you facing your toes...

Pretty gross here, but didn't someone get killed by trying to shag a cow - basically the suction ripped the guy's knob off and he bled to death - or is that an urban myth?

When you're just standing around eating grass all day, that's a lot of time you can spend doing kegels.

And with four stomachs, I suspect their voraciousness during oral sex has to be seen to be believed.

I think Mrs Chinny thought I was joking when I said we had beef burgers for tea.

Just checked the date on my Tesco burgers, aaaaaaaaaaand they're off!

Meh, as long as they taste nice and don't poison me.

Has this been done already?

I love horses - on a sesame seed bun!

You're actually asking whether the story about the guy dying from a fatal bovine shag is an urban myth? Seriously?

Well you say that......

http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/

Surely it would be a rural myth.

also, cows are notoriously over the top when recounting stories concerning their sexual prowess.

You don't think the cows in a city farm would put out?

These Tesco burgers really filly me up, my tummy is completely foal.

I truly love this place. It's not the fact that I was asking about some bestial pervert shagging a cow here; it's the rural backdrop of my 'query' and hence literal misuse of the term "urban myth" that actually causes the faux pas and ensuing offence. Awesome, keep it up plz.

Plus, his cock would have had to have been longer and thicker than a vets arm.

I'd better not try it then.

I'm sure you're seen a fair bit of traffic, but a vet's arm would probably be a bit far even for you. Not like your mum, though.

Your Mum's fanny was the first thing to be labelled 'Value Burger'.

Wildcard: Asda's veggieburgers found to contain Uniquorn.

"You insensitive fucks!"

LOL.

Mind you, this is going on too long now - you're all flogging a dead horse.

Never knowingly undersold, either.

Does it have a blue stripe?

No, just layers of price drop stickers.

BEEX is indeed on fire this week, funniest I've seen it for a good while, well done everyone

What a shame a serious debate punctuated with a few gags degenerated into a series of amputee and fisting jokes.

Sorry chinny mate. But, you know it makes sense though!

Results of further tests at one of the plants is happening today and will be published this evening.

Almost certainly looks like cheap meat sourced from Europe is the cause as the main plant involved says it has never processed or traded in horse meat.

Sorry Chinny, but I was chomping at the bit to get that one out

Woah now, DavPaz.

I'll bet these results show evidence of Foal play.

Yup, Tesco are really in the saddle on this one. If they're further implicated by this draft investigation, they're likely to be reined in, I'd say.
As for their profits? They're gonna lose some bucks. Odds on the rug will be well and truly pulled from under them for shire; possibly a right shoeing.

Their thoroughbred PR damage limitation machine will have to hoof it from here, though the going isn't too good for them.

Pun-nami!

Horse ankles. Mention horse ankles. hankles. hore.s hankles..

Puns aside, I was talking to a guy that works with Tesco Mobile last night and Tesco's reaction was along the lines of "Everyone in legal devotes time to this. Bury the shitty little operation the fucking animal came from, and destroy every company it went through on the way up."

Yeah, sounds like the sort of thing I'd expect them to do.

I think they're rather justified in this case.

I really don't know one way or another.
Not saying this is the case here as I have no idea, but in general, non-specific terms, if suppliers have been screwed down and screwed down by a large, powerful client, there is a risk that corners will eventually be cut? That's why it's not necessarily a good idea to always go for the cheapest tenders, and it is also a good idea to have rigorous, in-house quality control and checks.

Although I can't possibly see how it could happen by accident, I really do have trouble believing that this was done on purpose.