Be Excellent To Each Other

I have found the leccy one, and added that to the original post.

Is "onboarding" like waterboarding?

It's a mixture of onanism and waterboarding.

I haven't a fucking clue what it means. No matter how I wrangle it the sentence comes out broken.

Dammit1 I thought Otley Beer festival was this weekend, and it would have nicely dullled the pain of going to the jeweller's on saturday. now I learn it is the weekend after, and I won't be able to go due to in-laws visiting. Unless I take MrsA's dad there. That can't go wrong.

It means "telling people stuff", and is derived from "getting them on board [the project]".

I hear it all the time from our project management people. Annoys the feck out of me.

You can onboard people, as cringy as it sounds. You can't 'onboard for' though. Eejits.

Only if you accept that "onboard" is a valid verb.

Assuming the above to be accepted, yeah, you can. The recipient of the onboarding is onoarding for a purpose. It's a horrible sentence construction, though.

Sorry - I meant you can 'onboard for' a project, but you can't 'onboard for skilled developers'. You onboard the developers, you don't onboard for them.

Jesus wept, why can't you just get/hire/employ them?

Everyone stop saying onboard! Now!

I'll get onboard with that.

Yeah, you're right.*

"A large project portfolio has led to need for a financial client to onboard for highly skilled c# .NET developers to assist with these assignments"

If we were to retain "onboarding" as a verb in the sentence in some form I would reparse this as "Due to a large project portfolio, a financial client needs highly skilled c#.NET developers to get on board to assist with these assignments".

Strunk and White would be in fits, mind.

Incidentally, I'm currently writing a "good writing guide" for our marketing people to use when writing internal documents .


EDIT - *unless the client is getting on board for the purpose of hiring the developers, but that makes even less sense.

Now you're on the trolley!

Someone will touch base with you and explain.

May I suggest a chapter? Good. Here goes:

ME: How many buttons on the screen?
THEM: 4
ME: Can you read them to me please?
THEM: Shutdown, Restart, Launch Program and Options
ME: Can you press Launch Program please?
THEM? Restart?
ME: No, Launch Program
THEM: OK, I;ll press restart
ME: No, press Launch Program
THEM: Yes, I pressed Restart
ME: Nevermind...

Malc

They probably just didn't want to fuck up their clutch.

I came home from work in a shitty mood, then MrsA wanted to go at look at a ring (my favorite so far, 1920s art deco diamonds) so could I pick her up? I changed the bulb in the Ka and went over and it seemed I was taking her friend to the station and a living, breathing eastern european version of the daily mail. As it was now rush hour and dark, driving was shitty as people in Yorkshire are cunts who can't drive and the other two took forever to leave their work. The shop had shut early as Yorkshire people are work shy pig fuckers and then we had to go to ASDA which is where people too poor to shop in Morrisons go. Then we had to drive back in even worse traffic and now I am here not having played Dark Souls for two hours like I wanted to.

And how come all these coal miners on the news have brand new cars, eh? Cunts.

You move 16 tons and what do get? A new Land rover and deeper in debt.

I preferred Burt Bacharach's version.

Do you know how much Land Rovers are worth these days?

Mmmm. Chocolate.

I can't help but feel that Google aren't making full use of their data collection and targeted marketing, while logged into the android store and given the huge amount of data they must have collected on me over the years of using Google I get the following items recommended for me:

Jaan Ki Baazi looks great

Aatank too.

I don't know, I'd say they had you nailed down quite well.

Proud of myself today... teacher was asking as to describe what we used to do for work, what we do now or what we want to do in future.

(translated for you)
ME: [I used to work in the UK on the railway for four years. I sat at a computer, when a train was late I had to find out why: for example, maybe the train broke down, or someone riding the train was sick. That was my job.]
TEACHER: [But you came back to Canada? Didn't you like it?]
ME: [Not really.]
TEACHER: [Hmmm... did you like the chocolate?]

*she writes "chocolate in UK has expiry dates, as made with real milk" on the board*

ME: [Yes, but... I need to write this down.]

*I write "Dairy Milk chocolate full of vegetable oil"*

The look on her face was excellent.

After the quiz in the lab and went and recounted my famous life story, but in sign. That makes another successful conversation using it. Pleased with myself!

If there was a 'Well done!' button, I'd be hammering it for you right now. I'm really, really happy it is going so well.

Fantastic stuff!

Nice one Perkies.

Glad you're doing well after all you've put into it.

W00t! Prelude!

Jazzy, that's great! Honda make lovely cars. "You meet the nicest people on a Honda" they said on the advert for motorbikes. Now doggers say that. You filthy bitch.

I'm sad he had to go away and take Mrs Meaty with him. I like Mrs Meaty. Perkies is too tall to fit in the boot of a Ka.

That was supposed to say Perkies. Stupid phone.

Yeah, it's getting much colder now.

Oh, no. He gave me a G4. I forgot. No canal night swimming required for perkues. He da man.

Thanks guys. It's had its ups and downs but this week has been almost entirely up (we had another - 90 minute - bitching session after the quiz about the chatty people spoiling stuff) and I'm soooo glad I did my assignment for tomorrow on Monday so I didn't have to worry about it tonight.

Things are clicking into place and I come home thinking in ASL and excitedly signing elaborate stories of my exploits to Mrs Meaty who then struggles (we learned together for a bit in preparation, much earlier in the year) to understand them.

We still haven't sold our stupid house but the ship that is due to carry the container with our stuff in it has arrived in the UK today so he'll have our stuff by the end of the month.

It's been below zero overnight the last few days and maybe one or two degrees in the mornings when I head out but that's unseasonably cold... this weekend it's going to become unseasonably warm with a high of 15 on Monday! All I can say is that if for no other reason, I'm glad to be in Toronto and not Edmonton, which is currently covered in snow.

.

CORNWALL NEWS NOW!

A flag was taken down

FFS.

"We condemn the flying of the flag of St. george in Cornwall and believe it to be inflammatory and could lead to breach of the peace"

Only because of mindless pricks like you.

Off work I am. Pulled out the old Xbox 1. Loaded an old Fable save. Combat is refreshingly tricky!

Hmm.

If religion is, then political beliefs totally should be. I, personally, don't think either should be.

If you can't fire someone for being a Catholic*, then why should you be able to fire someone for being a member of a political party, no matter which one?

This almost certainly needs its own thread.

* "Catholic" was just picked out of thin air as an example.

Stopped reading there.

Something exciting has happened in Saltaire as the roundabout is a crazy mess of cars because Bradford drivers always need to fill the space in front of them even if it does mean blocking exits. Work was OK but I fear I might be the only one left on my team soon, or not have my contract renewed. Will have to deploy charm, guile and a red shirt on Monday.

Introducing the Apologies (Scotland) Bill.

http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/getti ... 52684.aspx

If this goes through, you lucky people in Scotland will be able to apologise with gay abandon! Yay!




Seriously though, some people are just fucking stupid. Tax payers money being spent on this rot. It's outrageous really, that some shit has sat down and thought that this is the one thing people really need right now.

Hahaha. Idiots. Good job we are still in charge and the skirt wearing whiskey fuckers believe they are.