Be Excellent To Each Other

Tonight 9pm Channel 4.
They are going to crash a plane and see what happens

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-plane-crash

"This dramatic new documentary follows an international team of scientists, experts and elite pilots as they deliberately crash land a 170-seat Boeing 727 passenger jet to provide a once-in-a-generation chance to study the mechanics of a plane crash in real time.

The documentary recreates a common type of crash - a serious, but survivable 'forced landing' - in order to study the crashworthiness of the aircraft's airframe and cabin, examine the impact of crashes on the human body, and look for possible means of increasing passenger survivability.

By crashing the plane, the programme also aims to answer key questions - such as whether sitting at the front or the rear of the aircraft, wearing a seat belt, and whether you use the brace position - can make the difference between life and death.

Fed Ex captain James 'JimBob' Slocum, who has previously survived three plane crashes, pilots the passenger jet, nick-named 'Big Flo' (after crew member Leland 'Chip' Shanle's grandmother, Florence) on her last flight.

Putting their lives on the line, JimBob and the rest of the crew aim to parachute from the plane just minutes before impact, after setting it on a crash course.

The plane will then be flown remotely until impact from a chase plane by former US Navy pilot Leland 'Chip' Shanle - making it the world's biggest remote controlled aircraft. Flying at 140 mph, and descending at 1500 feet per minute, the aircraft will crash land nose down in a remote and uninhabited area of Mexican desert.

Rather than carrying passengers, the plane is packed with state-of-the-art research equipment, including three crash test dummies worth $150,000 each (plus a number of simpler sand bag dummies) and accelerometers to measure the G forces on passengers.

Dozens of cameras record the crash from inside the aircraft, on the ground, in chase planes and even on the pilot's helmet."



Should be a laugh, if you go to the channel 4 website and have facebook, you can check in and choose your seat, and then find out what would have happened to you
I'm in 11A, Mrs T is in 22F...

Oh awesome.

JimBob and Chip? Crashing a 727 is going to be a step up from the crop dusting, moonshine running and varmint hunting that makes up the majority of their flying time.

I'd like to know the effects of an aeroplane hitting a tower block.

Interestingly, the 727 has a tailgate that can be opened in flight, allowing egress of passengers. Most famously, this was sued by a man who hijacked a plane, got it refuelled, and something like $10MM and a skeleton crew, and jumped out over somewhere.

Also, New Scientist wrote soemthing about this programme recently, although I can't recall when or what.

Possibly but I believe we already know the answer to that one.

Im in 15A. Ahead of the wing, window seat.

So YOU'RE the reason that 747s have that bulge at the front!

I am in 17F... Not watching tonight as I have a flight to Berlin tomorrow

Reading the thread title I thought this would be about another "Big Fat Quiz".

I saw the trailer.

I believe I said "Oh you big bitch!" as it cut to black.

Oooh. Thanks for the heads up Trooper. I'm 30F, for my usual just-behind-wing window seat. I always seem to end up in that spot in planes. How will I fare?

I'll sit right at the back of the plane. (Dunno the seat numbers, but at the back anyhow).

Here's hoping these are safe seats; I suspect they will be, but if not, at least I can make rude V-signs etc. at any traffic that's behind us, out of the back windows likes.

Haven't got cuntface so I'll say I sat next to Pete.

Don't knock it. I would genuinely love those to be my three duties.

Apart from the final day when I get woozy from the cancer caused by all the carciogens in the crop spray, causing me to spill the moonshine I have in my lap and thus alarming the possum varmint snoozing under my seat which then proceeds to claw my face and send my Hitchcockian biplane spiralling into World-O-Orphans.

I'll hold your hand as we go down together, twitching in our seats and screaming.

Then when our fun is spoilt by the sudden development of an emergency on the plane, we'll make a quick toilet break and clean up and try to meet our ends in a stoic, emotionless, British manner.

Are they factoring in the possibility of landing on a magical island?

First class for me - seat 6C.

What if it lands embarrassingly flawlessly?

That would be a bit of an anticlimax.

Or on a river.

From the trailer it looks like it's crashing on a very shallow glide path, so that was a possibility.

Oh go on then, Seat 33F, Economy, right by the bogs.

I am the tightest airline passenger ever and never have any upgrade, food, indeed anything. It's a means to an end to me, quite literally an "air bus". I might splash out on a cup of tea if you're lucky, but usually not even that. I'm one of the few people who have nice things to say about Ryan Air.

I only ever sleep through the entire flight anyway, so what's the point.

You're next to Mrs K. Don't get handsy, dude.

I want to be in the cockpit. Failing that, in the middle - as close to the centre as I can get.

Sounds like Nick Clegg.

I'll take my usual seat on a 737 - 8A.

I ain't getting on no 'plane,fool. Especially one that is going to crash.

People walked away from those crashes at the start? Jesus.

Haaaaang on. If they're fitting a remote piloting system on it, why do they need the pilots in there? Other than sensationalist "oooh, they're jumping out of a plane minutes before it crashes"?

Am I dead yet?

They're there in case the controller plane can't keep up for whatever reason and drops out of remote control range, or if the remote fails somehow. That way right up to the last moment there's dudes with manly tashes ready to land her so they can try again, and not have it serenely fly on and land on a village someplace else.

Because goddamnit they're AMERICAN.

Channel 4 live streaming is shite.

Try tvcatchup.com

Malc

I hope they didn't have the fish.

JUST CRASH THE FRICKIN PLANE ALREADY

THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY

I'm enjoying the parade of ridiculous names, personally.

FIST BUMP!

And c'mon, who thought for one second it wasn't going to be dragged out? I'm enjoying it, though.

Oh no! Engine failure on dinky cool plane!

RGHGHEHGHG!

Frickin' BREAKS.

Right. Time for mock the week! Shame to miss the end but I'm sure nothing will happen.

Mock The Week is bollocks. Third rate comedians talking third rate shite!

I'm not walking away fro that. Me and the rest of the elite in first class are all dead.

Not filling the hold sounds like an oversight.

Looks like the plane was a subscriber to an extreme wing of the anti-1% movement. First class wiped out, aside from a broken ankle everyone else doing fine!

Sorry, Chris!

Yeah. A bizarre oversight, considering that they wanted to make it as real to life as possible.

Go crash another!

Yeah, that's what Mrs K and I thought. If you're going to do a replica of a crash of a passenger aircraft, actually make it like a crash of a passenger aircraft.

Still, they did better than NASA!

The seat behind you got catapulted 150 feet!

Basically this is bollocks though, right? If anything is evident from the various crashes they showed, it's that every crash is different.

Not necessarily. There will be consistent factors. This is to measure survivable crashes, which will be takeoff or landing. so a fair few things are the same in speed, descent rate, etc. The main factors to cover will be such typical injury causes as hand luggage and loose materials in the cabin.

They needed lots more crap inside like in real life to fly around.

What I want to know is whether the lack of cargo directly caused the intact nature of the midsection.

Only if the floor is a structural element for the fuselage. Which I'm reasonably sure it is.

Am I dead yet?