Be Excellent To Each Other

I love Giles.

Heh!

That's an alarming level of annoyance over the spoiling of a knob gag, but fair enough I suppose..

Haha, amazing.

Am I meant to think he's a dick? Because I do.

Oh dear, I've just posted this at the same time. Are you me 5 minutes into the past Craster?

He does very much come across as a horrible little man.

Also, another one from MrChris' link.

Ha ha ha.
I don't know who he is, but I love over reactions and rage. Also this is a beautiful line:

Giles Coren is hilarous. The thing he did where he ate like an Edwardian for a week was one of my favourite hours of TV in last year, and the little segment he did on The F Word where he actually Pimped That Snack was awesome too.

I'm guessing ComicalGnomes knew about that. Did you get interviewed at all for that CG? Shame if not.

12 minutes, I think you'll find

Delete the imposter, thx.

CG has mentioned on here meeting Coren and considering Coren an arrogant twat.

I literally have tears in my eyes after reading that. It's amazing.

Are you kidding Mr Gaywood? It's well publicised (by me) that I trekked all the way to fucking London to meet this Corun cunt, waited around for 4 hours before he interviewed on camera, only to have the piece cut from the final show. Entire waste of a fucking day.

He's sort of like a cross between Rev Stu and Comical Gnomes

He got the last number wrong in that email. Perfect.

HA! so he did. Hadn't noticed that.

Considering the two articles of your comparison are as dissimilar as matter and anti-matter, I can only assume you consider Corun to be a large explosion, of sorts.

It took me 3 minutes to spot the change.

If he wrote for Imagine he'd explode.

Awesome!

Likewise, I had to go through both sentences comparing the words one by one to eventually work it out.

Coren appears to be simultaneously 'childish and stubborn' and 'furiously angry'.

Not that that relates in any way to anything previously mentioned in this thread.

I did not know this. Recall I was never really on WoS. How did you feel about this? Irritated? Slightly irked, I could imagine?

Umm, you know, that wouldn't have been anything like his decision to cut the piece, but would be down to the show editor, right? And you did at least get prime time promotion for PTS on a major TV show. So it could have been worse.

(ducks)

I wouldn't mind so much but I don't give an arse about notoriety or fame. I'd rather be anonymous and rich. Very, very rich.

So did I. However, I am an expert neither in Yiddish nor euphamisms for obtaining blowjobs from whores.

A misspent youth, eh?

Also - it wasn't funny. At all.

Sub-edding for him must be tricky, because you might fix his atrocious typing or mistakes with numbers, only to find out that it was a pseudo-scientific post-ironic commentary on Hungarian squid farmers and the subsidies they received from the EU.

Or just him being a cunt.

And not great at using capital letters properly when ranting. It's one thing to rant at subs (although I suspect most magazines I write for would tell me to fuck off if I did it, leading to no work, no money and no food), but at least have the decency to edit your missive properly. Had I been one of the subs, I'd have edited his rant and sent it straight back to him.

The only favourable thing I have to say about him is that he agreed to submit a nice quote for the of the PTS book that never was.

Do you think the subs did all that 'starting sentences with and' and non-capitalisation of sentence startings (plus the lovely ironic fuck-up Grim... quoted as well), to make him seem hilariously blind to his shortcomings? Or does he, in fact, need the services of a sub for his general writing, even including ruining his ever-so-funny little jokes?

Didn't you sue over that?

The idea of them doing that has almost entertained me as much as the letters themselves.

Can't afford more than a couple of strongly worded letters, but on the plus side I have 6 years to do it, so plenty of time left for revenge.

I definitely would have done that, as well. I wouldn't be able to resist.



Excellent.



Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha. Optimism, eh? Pre-GCSE now is just years of "these are GCSE-style practice papers. You have one hour."

Crikey, he sounds like a (man I would not like to meet - Ed).

It's annoying that this particular section of the Guardian doesn't have the super web 2.0 comments section. I estimate Coren would receive a .75 monstering on the Gogarty scale for this latest self important whine.

The more I learn about CG, the more he turns into a version of Mr Angry from Steve Wright in the Afternoon in my head!

He may well be a true cat, but I think that email was spot on.

Dont fudge with a mans work.

FTFY

He's certainly right about the metre of the sentence. That alone is enough to render the editing a terrible decision, to be honest. The 'humour' aspect of it wasn't really all that, but it was okay before the edit.

Yeah I certainly agree there was simply no point to editing it.

But as a sub, you have to be seen to be doing SOMETHING I suppose.

True, but seeing his email you have to assume that the change was one of, say, twenty the sub made to the piece. How were they to know that the one time Giles wasn't being a fat fingered twat was the time he was making a joke?

He might be a bit more conscientious with the stuff he's writing in a cool, calm mood for money than he is with his quickly fired off email rants, of course....

Stolen from Popbitch:

"Giles Coren redux - it's a pity he didn't have an editor in 2005 for his novel "Winkler" which won the 2005 "Bad Sex In Fiction Award" (wiki sez it is now and "internet meme" although G. Coren says he is unaware of what the word "meme" means, & him ex-Westminster School & Oxford too) anyways here is the winning passage, as first posted but *moi* on here in 2005:

"And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.""

Makes Sinclair User look like Shakespeare!

Hahaha! I love the "Like Zorro" tacked onto the end.
Also, I'm having trouble figuring out the logistics of the whole thing. How can she sit on his face and scratch his back?

It would have been infinitely better had he ended it with "like Vienetta".

I'm more worried about his apparently prehensile penis that 'rattles around' and if left unattended will spazz around like a shower head. Wat the hell kind of mutant sex was he having when he wrote that?

Like Copydex.