Bits and Bobs 36

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22397

Squirt wrote:

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Friend of mine had a motorbike accident and woke up with Celiac disease.

Maybe he collided with a Celica hard enough to scramble it up?

Reminds me of the time I got struck by lightening whilst listening to Simon and Garfunkel and woke up with Cecilia Disease.

You're breaking my heart.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 14:52

Mid-shag you feel an irrepressibke urge to wash your face?

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 15:16

MaliA wrote:

Mid-shag you feel an irrepressibke urge to wash your face?

I managed to come in my own face once. I guess that wasn't mid-shag, though.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mid-shag you feel an irrepressibke urge to wash your face?

I managed to come in my own face once. I guess that wasn't mid-shag, though.

Maybe not for you.

Grim... · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 15:54

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Grim... wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Mid-shag you feel an irrepressibke urge to wash your face?

I managed to come in my own face once. I guess that wasn't mid-shag, though.

Maybe not for you.

Good work, sir.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 16:00

Right, time to investigate new countryside around where I am. I hope there's no farms and stuff. I hate farm dogs.

metalangel · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 16:35

The line to buy books in the college bookshop goes around the entire shop. If I'm lucky I might not be late for my next class.

GazChap · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 16:40

metalangel wrote:

The line to buy books in the college bookshop goes around the entire shop. If I'm lucky I might not be late for my next class.

Does anyone have an e-mail address for Meaty? Someone needs to tell him that Malabelm has hacked his account.

Malabelm · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 18:56

Rumbled

Malabelm · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 20:20

So I just checked the shared current account to make sure the rent went out properly, to find we're £500 overdrawn. Funny, considering there was £800 in there the other day and I'm not Curio paying £1.3k/month.

So it turns out BT have charged us £540 for a one-off construction charge, for god knows fucking what. And their call centres close at 8PM >:(

KovacsC · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 20:23

Pull back the direct debit.

Malabelm · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 20:27

KovacsC wrote:

Pull back the direct debit.

I imagine that would fuck me over pretty quickly. I'll be on the phone first thing tomorrow.

KovacsC · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 20:29

Not really. You presume it was a mistake.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 21:21

Malabelm wrote:

So I just checked the shared current account to make sure the rent went out properly, to find we're £500 overdrawn. Funny, considering there was £800 in there the other day and I'm not Curio paying £1.3k/month.

So it turns out BT have charged us £540 for a one-off construction charge, for god knows fucking what. And their call centres close at 8PM >:(

Hey!

It's only 1200 now...

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 21:29

The problem with cycling up hills on Bridleways up here is that whenever I stop to let horses/people pass coming the other way, they all say "You don't need the rest, you can make it!" to me. Like the really fit horse riding girl earlier. but politeness is politeness and I do appreciate the occasional breather. And I'm pleased I'm wearing sunglasses. Oakley Zeros, gold lens. They don't have frames so I can see forwards when my head is down. Doesn't stop sweat, but looks cool and ver light.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Ha! That's almost as good as "You're throwing it at me! Look, Barbara, he's throwing it at me!" when you get your change out to pay for something in the newsagents and spill some on the counter.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:03

WTB wrote:

Ha! That's almost as good as "You're throwing it at me! Look, Barbara, he's throwing it at me!" when you get your change out to pay for something in the newsagents and spill some on the counter.

As I slogging up the hill from Settle, some bastard saw me and stood by the gate when I was 200 yards away. He opened it to let me through as well. Only as I passed him did he realise what he'd done. With my rolling head and Tongue hanging out I tried to nod thanks and he apologised for "denying me a breather". I'd buy him a pint for that, as it was inspired sadism.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:11

Would you buy me a pint if I inflicted inspired sadism on you?

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:19

flis wrote:

We belmed ourselves pretty badly at work today... The boys were digging a trench and uncovered some bones but they were quickly identified as animal bones, most likely a cow. Then the Architect came to site. He's been a dick recently so the site manager and I played dumb to see what his reaction would be, hopefully making a twat of himself, we told the boys not to tell him they were animal bones. His reaction was called the police. So we let him crack on, assuming they'd turn up and say "It's a cow, you dick" and our prank would be complete. After a few minutes standing around with the Architect and Sherlock Holmes, I got bored and went back to my cabin. When I walked back through to go to the car, they were fencing off the area :facepalm:

I told the policeman he was a massive disappointment for not having any police or crime-scene tape. Our joke backfired quite spectacularly there, as half of our site is closed off while they do whatever it is they do to determine the bones belonged to a fucking cow that died over 100 years ago.

L-LOL.

You star!

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:19

Zardoz wrote:

Would you buy me a pint if I inflicted inspired sadism on you?

No.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

coff coff wasting police time coff coff. Assuming they have laws on the Isle of Man.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:32

What's new with you, Kissyfur? Hope all is good!

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

What up!

Not a whole lot. Second born starts school tomorrow, which will be entertaining. Took both weans rock climbing on Monday, and they both got higher than our house. Quite amazing given that they're both totally wee.

And I totally closed a multimillion pound deal today. In a bit of a rush. So i'll be rereading the contract tomorrow and going D'OH a lot.

How's you, space pirate dude?

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 22:53

Chillin' and having a beer right now. Tomorrow, I'll be doing what I like best at work which is going to be amusing if you are me. If you are not me, not so much. It's the usual hijinx and fun in the crazy wirld I live in.

London bound at the weekend to not see anyone from here, but we're going boating which I can't see going wrong at all.

If you kids have feet as big as mine (probably) I'll stick a pair of indoor boots and a chalk bag in the post. Might have a harness kicking about but I'd never give that to anyone in case it broke and then I'd be "oh my". Climbing is good fun.

Oh, and semi serious house hunting for a cottage for a year or two.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Boating is always excellent. ALWAYS.

Are you arranging a year long Beex Cottage?

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

HINGMY! BIGJOBS!

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 23:06

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Boating is always excellent. ALWAYS.

Are you arranging a year long Beex Cottage?

No, we might buy one at some point soon. After I get my arse in gear and sell the other place. Boating will be an interruption to drinking.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Noooo. No. Boating is not an interruption to drinking. That is why one employs a skipper.

Unless you're punting, in which case bloody well get on with it anyway. It's just a stick. You can't be done for being drunk in charge of a stick.

EDIT *checks law books*

As you were.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 23:32

For speschul ambeeyarnce, I want a clockwork hand that ticks and dials a rotary phone constantly. MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEMN

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 23:42

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Noooo. No. Boating is not an interruption to drinking. That is why one employs a skipper.

Unless you're punting, in which case bloody well get on with it anyway. It's just a stick. You can't be done for being drunk in charge of a stick.

EDIT *checks law books*

As you were.

It's frowned upon, apparently. MrsA seems to think I'll both row and read her poetry. It'll be quite the busy day, apparently. I'll feel odd being in The South again. Especially with my accent nowadays.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Wed Sep 05, 2012 23:50

In addition I require a ticking clockwork newspaper opener that also periodically taps the end of a pipe against some dentures.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:08

I'm going to miss Charlotte Green and Harriet Cass.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

MaliA wrote:

I'm going to miss Charlotte Green and Harriet Cass.

I can't tell them apaprt, to be honest.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:28

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I'm going to miss Charlotte Green and Harriet Cass.

I can't tell them apaprt, to be honest.

Their voices provide reassurance. And mega LOLZ on the news quiz. Also, "Jacques Tuat" was one of the funniest things I've ever heard on the radio.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

MaliA wrote:

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

MaliA wrote:

I'm going to miss Charlotte Green and Harriet Cass.

I can't tell them apaprt, to be honest.

Their voices provide reassurance. And mega LOLZ on the news quiz. Also, "Jacques Tuat" was one of the funniest things I've ever heard on the radio.

I'd rather listen to Alice Arnold, to be honest. Cass and Green were far too plummy.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14518

Eurogamer article on tv video game shows (by Rab)

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012- ... s-tv-again

And ends with the paragraph

Quote:

About ten years ago, when I was first trying to get a gaming TV show off the ground, I would hear this a lot:

"Just you wait until all the people with the power at these TV channels are people who grew up playing games. Then it'll be easy."

Well, I know a lot of the current crop of powerful people in telly. And I know for a fact that they did grow up playing games. So it'll be easy now?

I suppose I'm about to find out.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:52

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

I'd rather listen to Alice Arnold, to be honest. Cass and Green were far too plummy.

I think it's dead sexy.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:50

And we're back to our yearly "Is it right to shoot burglars and stuff:

David Cameron wrote:

"I haven't seen the specific case.

"Judges sometimes say things that, you have to read the full context and the rest of it.

"But I'm very clear; burglary is not bravery, burglary is cowardice, burglary is a hateful crime.

"People sometimes say it is not a violent crime, but actually, if you've been burgled, you do feel it was violent, breaking into your home.

"That's why this government is actually changing the law to toughen the rules on self-defence towards burglars."

I find the last bit a well executed play to those that value mob rule and the hang-em high brigade. Should please a decent set of his supporters and get them back on board.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Personally I can't see anything wrong with shooting burglars.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:57

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Personally I can't see anything wrong with shooting burglars.

If I have to have burglars, I'd prefer the non-shooting kind.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:24

BBC HYS comment in response to the latest judicial gaffe, 'Burglary takes courage':-

Quote:

Burglary brave? Or courageous? Try finding and holding on to a job in a recession. Try supporting a family and paying the increasing costs of housing, food, clothing and petrol. Try being a hard working member of society who actually contributes something to rest of the country. THAT'S brave, courageous and hard work!

Where to they find these 'learned' judges? Would this guy have the same sentiments if it was his (no doubt very opulent) house that had been violated by some useless, drug-addled Oxygen Thief or other? Honestly.

Cameron may well be playing to the gallery - that's what politicians do - but he's not wrong, surely?

In other news: Rottweilers. A home owner's best friend.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:35

Belated swimming in the sea advice

The comments are, unsually, spot on. If you are caught in a rip, swim at 90 degrees to the ebach for a few yards, then come back in. Don't swim if there are no lifeguards. Don't let kids unsupervised in the sea. If you are not local, don't go for the set waves. if you are not local, don't speak to anyone. And don't drop in.

Malc · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:36

I think doing pretty much any illegal act takes a certain amount of bravery, there are several risks involved, and anything that involves doing something despite the risk is brave by definition.

It's not brave in the way a firefighter is brave (ie doing something risky for someone elses benefit) but it takes something to do it none the less.

Now for me to say that as a lay person is one thing, but for a judge to say it about a criminal who pleaded guilty to bulgary, perhaps not!

For clarity, I don't think bulgary is a good thing to do, I think it's a really bad thing to do, all I am saying is that it does take some bravery to do it!

Malc

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16642

I think it takes recklessness. Bravery and courage aren't usually the words you'd use to describe something which is selfish and antisocial. I think the judge probably just wanted to wind people up for some reason.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:39

I'm not hot on the idea of people beating up people they perceive to be burglars. Not sure what the judge said, Probably, as Cameron said, out of context.

Dogs are easily neutralised by a fire extinguisher.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

markg wrote:

I think it takes recklessness. Bravery and courage aren't usually the words you'd use to describe something which is selfish and antisocial. I think the judge probably just wanted to wind people up for some reason.

It's largely semantics (which is my forte, of course), but you're entirely right. An idiot who runs along a railway track isn't brave, they're reckless. Similarly with a burglar. They're both putting themselves in danger, but it's not bravery by any stretch of the imagination.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:41

I think burglary is a deeply cowardly crime; sneaking into someone's house, usually when the occupants are not there (or if they are there, are too elderly/feeble to defend it or themselves).

Burglars, of both the 'pro' and opportunistic kinds, always go for the easiest pickings, the most vulnerable targets.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:42

MaliA wrote:

Dogs are easily neutralised by a fire extinguisher.

Good luck putting that to the test with mine. He'd rip your bollocks off.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32624

markg wrote:

I think the judge probably just wanted to wind people up for some reason.

JudgeyA.

Captain Caveman wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Dogs are easily neutralised by a fire extinguisher.

Good luck putting that to the test with mine. He'd rip your bollocks off.

"Want us to look after your car, mister?"
"No. As you can see, I have a large dog who can do that for me."
"Cool. Can he put out fires?"

Malc · **Posted:** Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:53

MaliA wrote:

Belated swimming in the sea advice

The comments are, unsually, spot on. If you are caught in a rip, swim at 90 degrees to the ebach for a few yards, then come back in. Don't swim if there are no lifeguards. Don't let kids unsupervised in the sea. If you are not local, don't go for the set waves. if you are not local, don't speak to anyone. And don't drop in.

I'm sorry I don't agree with some of (the Serious bits) that. How many people died in rip tides (or even got caught up in one and had to be rescued) this year? how many people went on the beach and went swiming in the sea? I don't know the figures, but I'm willing to bet that the ratio is less than 1 in a million!

Yes basic safety is a must, and yes knowing things like swimming parrallell to the beach is good, and a knowledge of the local conditions is paramount, but beyond that, you know your own kids, and their confidence in the water (I tell mine not to go in above their waist if they are on their own, not to go in above their neck if I am in the water but not near them, however, I was a stronger swimmer than my parents from about the age of 10/11 and would happily have swum a mile out to sea, confident that I could get back again if needed - having done that distance at school with clothes on)

Malc

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 36
Mali's got a sore bum

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Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 36 Mali's got a sore bum

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Bits and Bobs 36
Mali's got a sore bum