Be Excellent To Each Other

We have three wheelie bins.

One for recycling, one for garden/food waste and one for everything else.

Every other house in our estate also has three bins. There does not appear to be a shortage of bins.

Yet someone has nicked our green (garden) bin. A couple of weeks ago someone nicked our black (waste) bin. A few weeks before that someone nicked our blue. (recycling) bin.

What the fuck is going on? They're all heavily marked with our address, so it doesn't appear to be the neighbours.

So bloody annoying!

did I mention I have 3 bins for sale.

It has taken me a few weeks to acquire them.

Kov is on fire today!

The bins are probably on fire.

EDIT: This was a serious post btw.

Somebody is stealing your bins.

HTH HAND

Can you not store them in the back garden instead of the front? Do you have side access?

You should get a new bin, and then get some geese. Keep the geese in the bin, as they are good guard animals.

Some people who have been seen near Curio's house caught on camera





Never trust men in skirts or old people with your wheely bins and it should all be good

The black bin has been spotted also

He has to put them out for the garbage men to come and empty them.

Our garden waste bags regularly go missing, as they're just hessian sacks that will be caught by the wind. Then, a neighbour who's lost theirs will try and grab yours to replace it.

Our next-door neighbour took our recycling bin and left us theirs. Theirs is filthy, broken and unpleasant while ours is nice and clean. The three weeks that followed were amusing, as we had no choice but to use their bin, but tried to reclaim ours once it had been empty. Rush home from work, 'dammit, they've already taken it back inside'. We've put big house numbers on it now and it hasn't happened again.

No-one's going to steal our green bin. I'm pretty sure the bin men would rather not touch it either. Fucking council saying to start putting meat and all sorts in it, but oh you still have to pay if you want it cleaned or for your own bags, and we're still only collecting it fortnightly.

We finally got sick of the maggots and larvae in it and fruit flies coming out of it* and last night bought some compostable bags to use in it. S'going to cost us a fortune.

* and straight into the kitchen, attracted by the alcohol coming off Ian the Sourdough.

What the hell has this to do with a colostomy gash?

NO! *bangs fist on table* NOOOO! Not your bins! They were the best of us! *looks at ceiling with tears in his eyes* Oh god not the bins...

Is this some form of 'friendship cake', or just a friend you don't think too much of?

Were your bins full?

Maybe the US Marines thought they were Bins that were Laden.

Your going to have to go Old School and get all Columbo on this case, Hire Zardoz to hide in your bin for a few weeks and capture the evil bastards who are responsible

We've never used our slop bucket. The council can shove it all the way up their ass as far as I'm concerned, I'm not keeping a bucket of rotting meat in my house.

Zardoz looks different.

It's because society as a whole has let them down. This is due to the lack of education, (exams are easier, teachers elss able to inspire) and the death of the engineering and manufacturing indudtry in the UK as a whole (the country is now wholly reliant on a corrupt banking system). Couple that, with a dearth of positive role models and strong father figures, the disillusioned youth roam the streets, scrapping over anything that they think they might be able to rob, borrow or steal to get by. The recession has amplified this effect, and now a whole generation of children are doomed to die poor, stupid and diseased as the floodwaters brought about by global warming curl their ciy tendrils into the still screaming larynxes of the forgotten and the discarded. "help us!" will be the cry of this generation, as the nation's elders sit and do nothing, apart from occupy jobs and too large houses that could be done by the youth.

Not when he has his make-up and Toupee equipped .

I've informed the Daily Mail of this thread and it'll be the front page news tomorrow. They need to know how often everyone's bins are collected.

I'm not sure what "friendship cake" is - Ian is bread sourdough starter for making tasty bread. Mmm, yeasty.

We don't have one of those*, just a full-size wheely bin that we dump stuff in. It's fucking rank.

* Well, we do, but it's a ceramic apple we bought that gets emptied every day or two.

And the value of the property it is collected from.

A friendship cake is a like a chain letter but with cake.

The slop bucket is the only thing that the council give us in terms of recycling, everything else just gets put in bin bags (that we have to buy ourselves) and chucked in the big communal bin.

I use the slop bucket to store my onions.

Our council is pretty good - they even started taking glass recycling last year. It used to mean a trip up to Morrison's with a car-full of beer and wine bottles.

Ours doesn't do plastic, the twats.
So even if you have collected up all the paper and card you can't put it in a bin bag

We keep it all in a carrier bag and then just empty that into the recycling bin.

Bin bags and carrier bags are awful for the environment anyway - they can't be recycled and take hundreds of years to degrade!

Ours do paper/card/cardboard, plastics, metals, glass and batteries, and then a garden waste and a general waste bin. Quite good. But things are changing soon, and I haven't bothered to read the leaflet. All I know is we're getting a slop bucket.

A conversation about council recycling policies. Must be wednesday.

I don't give a fuck about council recycling policies at the moment; this just means I can't mow my lawn or dispose of food waste correctly for the next fortnight.

And there was dogshit on our doorstep the other morning.

I'm beginning to think someone has a vendetta against us.

*laughs manically*

(Sorry to hear about your bins though. I know some folk are saying "bins?! Pff!", but that doesn't change the fact that your property has been stolen, which would boil my piss.)

If that happened to me, I'd probably go to the GUI clinic too, just to make sure.

To get your graphical user interface checked out?

Perhaps they're going to put the drum from a washing machine inside, wire up the heating elements from a boiler to make a giant slow cooker with which to prepare huge quantities of extremely hot curry.

I don't get the extremely hot curry jokes!

Then you need a purple bin for unwanted references. Make sure you clean out the sentence first, otherwise it can't be recycled on a Tuesday.

No, really?

Is it an in joke I am missing?

So do I but then in the evening wheel them round to the back garden.

It's a recycled gag.

Doing an image search for "tedious" brings up two apt images.


and

Can't you bag the grass clippings up?

I've recently been volunteered to recycle by a "helpful" neighbour (there's a story here but it's long and not very interesting), and while I've gone along with it I also decided to fuck off the 'slop bucket'. I'm reassured to learn someone else hates it like I did, I rather feared I just had a petty tantrum but now I feel reasonable and rational

Shove a handful of grass clippings through the letterbox of every house on the street along with a note reading "My bins turn up by Friday or next time it's the food waste."

Problem solved either way.

We do have a composter in our back yard, but it's so full of stuff from the previous occupants AND me gardening that hardly any food has ever gone into it. I wouldn't put meat in there anyway, but then I tend not to throw away much meat.

Had the waste management twats come around I'd have indicated the composter to them as the reason why I don't use my vermin attractor (aka slop bucket. I mean, even the name is horrible.)

No back garden access from the front, but in any case, I put them out at night, and by the time I am home from work they are gone.

As you should be able to.

gospvg, you should be able to put your bin out in the evening and not have to worry about it going missing, period. Having to get up at strange times or stay at home in the morning ready to rush out and bring it back in as soon as they've emptied it is ridiculous.

Bin theft: As enjoyable as Paul Carr.

You mean the council's property?

Well, no. You have to pay for replacements, so they're your property. Regardless of who they "officially" belong to.