Since saying that, I've had my only proper game yet (for nearly two hours), and it was fucking magnificent.
It's buggy, yes, and ArmAII's inventory system was designed by some sort of spastic weirdo, and the basic controls are cumbersome and there are all kinds of problems commonly associated with a game of ArmAII's scope and size - for example moving around indoors is glitchy as hell.
But, when you get a good game like I just did, it's wonderful.
I spawned near the coast as you always do (BTW: You don't spawn with any weapons whatsoever any more), and made my way to the nearest cluster of buildings. Unfortunately they were all "pretend" buildings which means you can't go inside and therefore there's no loot. I was then chased by a zombie who bit me and drained me of a fair bit of blood. Fortunately you start with one bandage so I outran him and eventually got to heal myself.
Then I noticed a lighthouse. I ran over and found...
THIS!
Now I was covering some ground pretty damn quickly and I managed to find some large warehouse-y type buildings further along the coastline. I got off my bike and investigated. There was a lot of zombie activity and a few dead human players kicking about. There was also loads of loot. I grabbed a revolver and a hatchet, along with some other kit.
Then, whilst climbing up to the top of this massive building, I glanced out of the window to see some shit making off with my bicycle! Nooooo!
I gave chase on foot but it was futile. I attracted a few zombies but thanks to my revolver was able to get rid of them. Unfortunately I was now out of ammo, just in time for a human player wielding an axe and fending off a horde of zombies to come into view. He killed the zombies and I thought about whipping my own axe out and killing him, but he declared himself friendly and asked me not to shoot him. Little did he know I was out of ammo.
We set off together to find the next town, eventually happening upon a small farm with a few zombies kicking about. All the while I was chatting to my new found chum, but secretly plotting to off him before he offed me. I had my empty revolver out, and if he decided to start hacking at me with his axe, there would be nothing I could do about it. The only thing keeping me alive was the threat of my unloaded gun. The tension this game creates is brilliant.
I knew that at some point in the near future, we were going to find a stash of guns and ammo and the playing field would be levelled. At that point it'd be easy for him to betray my trust. But at the same time, he seemed like a nice chap in the game chat, so I was genuinely conflicted about whether or not to kill him when his back was turned.
As it turns out, the zombies from the farm swarm him and he takes some damage. He passes out and asks me to bandage him. I kill the last couple of zombies around us and then axe him in the face, stealing his tin of beans. Better safe than sorry! Poor Niko.
I've found another farm now and I've logged out in a barn. Hope I'm still alive when I go back!