Be Excellent To Each Other

I couldn't for my feet in mine because of the powerful diesel engines and huge propellers.

Boat shoes.

Potentially a massiv day in Le Tour tomorrow. Last real big chance for people to take chunks out of Wiggins's time advantage.Eurosport are showing it all from 10am.

And I've got to go to work, then on to Avenue Q in the evening. Which ain't so bad.

I couldn't get my feet into my Italien loafers as they were slowing me down from falling toward the ground from an acceleration of 10 metres per second per second.

Parachutes.

I put my shoes on to go to work this morning but they wouldn't start and I had to call the AA. Bloody Vans.

This is the ebst thing I've read in the grauniad's comments section all year:



I loved seeing it in London, and want to go again.

I couldn't put my shoes on this morning as they were full of Pierce Brosnans voice.

I couldn't even catch my shoes this morning to put on!

They were running shoes.

My dog has had a new litter and they've nested inside my shoes, and they are making a right bloody racket.

Hush, puppies.

The other morning a felt a tickly sensation in my slipper, swiftly followed by "owwwwWWWWW!". Pulled my foot out sharpish and a huge wasp lazily appeared - which I instantly bashed into small bits with said slipper, with not one shred of compunction. Fucker.

I hate wasps - evil bastard things. Found a massive hornet on the inside of my living room window the other day as well, but he was minding his own business (just as well), so I very gingerly and carefully took him in a very large ball of soft tissue paper and gently released him outside, before retiring bloody quick likes and not re-emerging for some hours.

You're not doing it right.

I hate wasps.

Shoes.

Hornets are amazing, terrifying things - never quite believe my eyes on the very rare occasions I see one, perhaps once or twice every 10 years or so. Definitely not the sort of insect to get on the wrong side of, as I learned at age 10 when helping to dig my mum and dad's overgrown back garden in the house we'd just moved into - quite literally 'stirring up the hornet's nest'. Sounded like a 747 coming out of the ground and I had to run for it - that thing waited for hours outside the back door as well, hoping I'd come out. Fat feckin' chance!

Ironically, I've been doing precisely that ever since, albeit only in a metaphorical sense.

Jog on.
\

I was putting my foot in my shoe yesterday and it nearly bloody snapped my ankle off.

Crocs.

I had to laugh when I tripped over the huge ears of my boots that have a face like Mr Dave on the way to work this morning.

They're Doc Martins.

I almost put my foot in my washing machine yesterday before remembering that the extra-hot curry I'd left to simmer in there after draining it from my central heating system, was so extra-hot that it would dissolve my flesh. Instead I went and played games on my rig, where they're good and proper like.

Wasps. Fucking brrrrrr. Thankfully, from doing a quick image search, I don't think I've ever come across a hornet or my mind would just shut down in fear. Like a wasp but four inches long? Yeah, that can GTFF.

I went to pull on my shoes yesterday and I couldn't cram my feet into them, as there was a group of people in there allocating cases to barristers.

Clarks.

Coming out?

Congrats dude, it's a big step!

I reckon that hornet was "only" about 2 inches long mate, but that's quite big enough for my liking. If it stings you it's an A&E job, and they can be very, very aggressive, much worse than wasps. The damn thing kills bees for a living.

Here's one I think. (I don't approve of trapping the poor bugger in a glass, mind. edit - also, "killer hornet"...? )

ROFFLE.

My bi mate of 30 years' standing assures me I would make the world's worst ever gay man.

Last week I had to take Myps Dad out of my left shoe and MaliAs Dad out of my right shoe.

What a pair of Brothel Creepers.

Try wet wipes.

And you went hungry for a month.

The video of a few hornets taking out an entire bee nest is fucking terrifying.

Ah, here it is:

Get a taxi?

It's certainly an option. I'll look again at the logistics of it post-olympics.

I stole my shoes from a drowned illegal immigrant.

Winkle pickers.

It was raining last week so I chose suitable footwear before leaving the house. Imagine my surprise when I took off from the door step and bombed German ships at Brunsbüttel on 4th September 1939.

They were a pair of Wellingtons.

<reference to something>

<shoe type>

'Avenue Q' is awesome. Would love to see it again.

Yes. It is.

The wildlife advice for Japan was "watch out for hornets and vipers."

When I went to new York, I was advised to look out for sharks and jets.

Only Mali would go with the Sharks over the Bulls.

Linked due to size: clicky

Mate of mine was working in China a few years ago.

He was travelling in a car with a bunch of businessmen, and noticed there was a *huge* centipede curled up on the back seat. Apparently he tapped the guy's shoulder in the front and upon seeing this, he locked up the brakes in the middle of the road and everyone (bar my mate) leapt out of the car screaming their heads off in incomprehensible gibberish and terror - not generally a good reaction.

Somewhat bemused, he himself ambled out of the car also, and left the beast to it. He later found out that if this thing bites you, it is *the* single most painful (but non lethal) experience on planet Earth.

I trust I'm not alone in imagining this as an extremely politically incorrect comedy moment, perhaps involving a rickshaw rear-ending the car as well as the 'ching chong' cries of alarm.

LoL. Not intentional, but by all means imagine that - be my guest.

Personally, I have nothing bad to say about the Chinese at all, I can assure you. I mean, they invented fireworks, right? Awesome.

And Chinese food.

Of course there they just call it 食品.

ô/

I'm going to some form of Rock Concert at the weekend. I haven't heard of anyone on the bill, apart from The Levellers (hippy twats), Razorlight (hipster twats), teh Lightening Seeds (Football twats) and Dizzee rascal (bonkers). As I'm getting older, my first concerns are of hydration, sanitation and only then lubrication, so I'll proabbly buy my way into the VIP bit. Although, a VIP bit in nottingham amuses me.

Sounds like a great gig!

From teh T&c's:



So, warm lager it is.

Can anyone here recommend the Witcher 2?

Sure, why not. Go ahead.

Habrmrbrbrbrbmrmbmrbrmrbmrbmrmmrmrmbrmrrbmrm. brm.

What would you like it recommended for?