Bits and Bobs 35

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:00

I remember when they first reached popularity I was in my local newsagents and saw a magazine on the shelves that was clearly aimed at kids, as it was bright and gaudy, named something like "Spice World" or similar, and was on the bottom shelf of the rack.

So imagine my surprise when I spotted "Ginger's nude photos!" on the front cover. Naturally, as a ~13 year old hormonal nerd, I picked it up and had a leaf through the magazine. Lo and behold, in the centre pages, were full, uncensored prints of the black-and-white arty nude photoshoot that Geri did prior to joining the Spices. No flapshots or anything, but they certainly didn't shy away from showing "the goods."

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

Grim... wrote:

throughsilver wrote:

metalangel wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Oh God:

Quote:

And following months of speculation whether or not they would join forces again, all five members of the Spice Girls got together in London today to announce details of a West End musical based on their songs.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18576789

Cue the revival of office arguments over which one is fittest and which one you wouldn't touch with theirs.

None of them. They were nothing special in 1996 and now they're 16 years older.

The question has nothing to do with whether or not they are attractive. It's about grading.

'Fittest' implies fitness, which was sorely lacking.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:12

throughsilver wrote:

'Fittest' implies fitness, which was sorely lacking.

That it doesn't. You could grade people with total blindness on their ability to see, and rate them all as 'worst'.

If you were to do that with the Spice Girls, you'd be saying there's not one of them you find more attractive than another, which is an acceptable answer (although, I suspect, not true).

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:13

TheVision wrote:

I had a thing for Scary Spice once but that's only because she waved at me when I went to see them.

...

KovacsC · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:21

Zardoz wrote:

TheVision wrote:

I had a thing for Scary Spice once but that's only because she waved at me when I went to see them.

...

I noticed that but let it slide...

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

Grim... wrote:

throughsilver wrote:

'Fittest' implies fitness, which was sorely lacking.

That it doesn't. You could grade people with total blindness on their ability to see, and rate them all as 'worst'.

I get your point, but 'ability to see' still suggests seeing ability, whether it's zero or not.

Quote:

If you were to do that with the Spice Girls, you'd be saying there's not one of them you find more attractive than another, which is an acceptable answer (although, I suspect, not true).

OK, I'll play. Timescale is from 'Wannabe' til that first xmas single.

Posh - utterly vacuous, but looked good before becoming emaciated
Ginger - was actually pretty. Pre-Atkins
Scary - again, was reasonably pretty, early on. And could have me in a fight.
Sporty - not reasonably pretty. Could have me in a fight though.
Baby - human equivalent of sponge cake. Pleasant, fluffy. Devoid of excitement or sexuality.

Bringing All Saints into it...

Melanie Blatt
Nicole Appleton
Natalie Appleton
Shaznay Lewis
Posh
Ginger
Scary
Sporty
Baby

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:29

If I'd have known you were going to be so wrong about it I'd not have bothered

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

Sorry, I found Baby about as sexually attractive as a bath sponge.

I think there'd be three Atomic Kittens I'd have above her.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:35

Yeah, I don't wan't to talk to them.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:43

Zardoz wrote:

Yeah, I don't wan't to talk to them.

I just noticed in your sig, Flickr, Behance and Vinyl!

Which band were they in? Which was the fittest?

Plissken · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:57

throughsilver wrote:

Sorry, I found Baby about as sexually attractive as a bath sponge.

I think there'd be three Atomic Kittens I'd have above her.

You call Baby Spice a fluffy ball of vacuousness (I agree) and then mention the Kittens? I mean, they practically defined "vacant ex Tesco shelf stacker". If you whispered sweet nothings in their ears you could hear the fucking echo.

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

Plissken wrote:

throughsilver wrote:

Sorry, I found Baby about as sexually attractive as a bath sponge.

I think there'd be three Atomic Kittens I'd have above her.

You call Baby Spice a fluffy ball of vacuousness (I agree) and then mention the Kittens? I mean, they practically defined "vacant ex Tesco shelf stacker". If you whispered sweet nothings in their ears you could hear the fucking echo.

I found them hotter.

TheVision · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:01

I've also seen Atomic Kitten. It was in a Butlins on a Summer holiday reunion thing but I can't remember if I saw Kerry Katona or if she'd left by then.. Anyway, they were rubbish.

They shared the bill with Mr Methane.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:17

TheVision wrote:

They shared the bill with Mr Methane.

Doesn't seem fair. He must have eaten far more food than they did to be able to do his act.

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6603

Who got top billing?

TheVision · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:25

If I remember rightly, it was Mr Methane. He was great in fairness. Really entertaining.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:51

...Mr Methane? Now there's a man after my own heart. I'm not given to fits of jealousy normally, but anyone who can effortlessly fart Silent Night, emitting clouds of talcum powder in the process, certainly gets the greeneye monster from me. Lucky bastard.

As for the Spice Girls, "Ginger" the most attractive...? Surely you jest man; she was a 4-pinter, at best, even back in the day. "Posh" was always the jewel in that crown IMO, but then, I do have a penchant for posh birds generally.

"Sporty" looked like a bloke, I always thought.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38642

If you fancied Posh because she was posh, you need to be re calibrated.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:55

DavPaz wrote:

If you fancied Posh because she was posh, you need to be re calibrated.

Heh. No, the moniker is good enough for me; pretend-posh is nearly as good as the real thing.

(Actually, I thought she had a beautiful, really pretty face).

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:01

Around here, posh is pouring the Sidekick into a glass before downing it.

Cavey · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:03

MaliA wrote:

Around here, posh is pouring the Sidekick into a glass before downing it.

Well, yes. "Posh" is a relative term - I'm common as muck so the bar isn't set very high in my own case.

(Although, incredibly, Mrs C *is* unbelievably posh by anyone's standards; she's taught me everything that I now know

)

Malc · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:06

Would: Scary and Sporty (sporty when she was blonde - perhaps her solo stuff?)
Wouldn't: Posh and Baby
Ambivalent: Ginger

Malc

TheVision · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:17

With all this Spice Girl speak, I don't think the Beex Weeker is going to be working too hard this week.

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:48

Captain Caveman wrote:

As for the Spice Girls, "Ginger" the most attractive...? Surely you jest man; she was a 4-pinter, at best, even back in the day. "Posh" was always the jewel in that crown IMO, but then, I do have a penchant for posh birds generally.

I prefer a few curves on a gal, so I'd have gone for Ginger>Baby/Scary>Posh/Sporty

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:54

More Wiggins getting tired of same old same old:

Quote:

"I'm not some shit rider who has just came from nowhere and I don't feel I should have to sit here and justify everything I've done to the world. I've been three times Olympic champion on the track. People have to realise what kind of engine you need to win an Olympic gold medal as an individual pursuiter. I've been six times world champion, fourth in the Tour de France, third in the Vuelta last year. I was a junior world champion. I've got an incredible pedigree behind me. Yes, I'm in the yellow jersey and I'm inspiring maybe kids to take up cycling, this, that and the other. But there's one reason why I'm in this position and that's because I've worked hard. I'm tested by the UCI God knows how many times a year, God knows how many times in this race and the Dauphiné. Blood-tested in the morning. What more can I do, other than that? I'm only human at the end of the day. I'm not this robot. I'm just a kid from London who happened to be good at cycling, and made it here. I make mistakes in my life. I'm not this fantastic role model that everyone wants me to be. I'm good at riding my bike and performing on my bike. Other than that, sitting up here, answering all these questions every day, trying to be articulate about it – I don't know what else I can do."

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:56

Oh, at the time:

Posh, Baby, Ginger, Sporty, Scary.

Now:

Baby, Sporty, Posh Giner, Scary.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:07

TheVision wrote:

With all this Spice Girl speak, I don't think the Beex Weeker is going to be working too hard this week.

So poetic.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:17

I've just eaten half the sticker that was on my apple.

Malc · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:19

Zardoz wrote:

I've just eaten half the sticker that was on my apple.

That's worse eating a whole one!

Oh no, that's magots and seeing...

Malc

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:19

Captain Caveman wrote:

...Mr Methane? Now there's a man after my own fart.

FeEx.

I can play tunes using hand-farts, I believe it's called "manualism."

KovacsC · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:20

Zardoz wrote:

I've just eaten half the sticker that was on my apple.

by choice?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:26

What's the name of that short sci-fi story where it is going to rain for the first time in a generation and the girl gets locekd in the cupboard and misses it?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:31

MaliA wrote:

What's the name of that short sci-fi story where it is going to rain for the first time in a generation and the girl gets locekd in the cupboard and misses it?

A-HA!

It wasn't that at all, but quite the opposite and called "All Summer in a day" by Ray bradbury.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:32

KovacsC wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've just eaten half the sticker that was on my apple.

by choice?

No, destiny.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 13:33

Zardoz wrote:

KovacsC wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

I've just eaten half the sticker that was on my apple.

by choice?

No, destiny.

ALL HAIL ZARDOZ! LONG MAY HE REIGN!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 14:19

*levels up*

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 15:29

MaliA wrote:

What's the name of that short sci-fi story where it is going to rain for the first time in a generation and the girl gets locekd in the cupboard and misses it?

A-HA!

It wasn't that at all, but quite the opposite and called "All Summer in a day" by Ray bradbury.

I remember reading that! She lives on Venus and is called Margot (or 'Magrot' as some in the class mispronounced it.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Vagrot.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 15:32

metalangel wrote:

MaliA wrote:

What's the name of that short sci-fi story where it is going to rain for the first time in a generation and the girl gets locekd in the cupboard and misses it?

A-HA!

It wasn't that at all, but quite the opposite and called "All Summer in a day" by Ray bradbury.

I remember reading that! She lives on Venus and is called Margot (or 'Magrot' as some in the class mispronounced it.

Indeed it is. The object of the game, however, is to guess what poorly described thing I am trying to fix in my brainspace ebfore my collection of neurons pop it into cerebal existence. So no points. It's a jolly goods tory, mind you.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 15:38

MaliA wrote:

It's a jolly goods tory, mind you.

There's David Cameron's face photoshopped onto Edward the Blue Engine for someone to do.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 15:46

I've been left alone here for the past 45 minutes. Might go home as the bike racing looks superb today.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 15:51

Went to the dentist today. For the first time in four years. Oops.

Well, he's certainly doing okay for himself. His Bentley Convertible was parked outside, and he had a monitor on an adjustable mount that he swung over me while I was in the chair. He first showed me my x-rays, and then used a little camera on a flexible tube to show me the unfortunate and unavoidable buildup of plaque underneath the orthodontic appliance I still have (it's fixed behind my lower front teeth, has been there nearly half my life now, and in his opinion is best left there).

He then, seeing I had no problems and so most of the appointment time left, offered to do the cleaning there and then to save me having to come back for another appointment.

So, all done. Teeth nice and clear, no cavities, no problems. Whew!

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

metalangel wrote:

MaliA wrote:

It's a jolly goods tory, mind you.

There's David Cameron's face photoshopped onto Edward the Blue Engine for someone to do.

TOP TIP: If you can't stand looking at David Cameron's face long enough to cut it off out*, why not use a ham joint. No-one will be able to tell the difference.

*Truly a challenge far harder than 'shopping the goatse man or tubgirl!

KovacsC · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 18:54

metalangel wrote:

Went to the dentist today. For the first time in four years. Oops.

Well, he's certainly doing okay for himself. His Bentley Convertible was parked outside, and he had a monitor on an adjustable mount that he swung over me while I was in the chair. He first showed me my x-rays, and then used a little camera on a flexible tube to show me the unfortunate and unavoidable buildup of plaque underneath the orthodontic appliance I still have (it's fixed behind my lower front teeth, has been there nearly half my life now, and in his opinion is best left there).

He then, seeing I had no problems and so most of the appointment time left, offered to do the cleaning there and then to save me having to come back for another appointment.

So, all done. Teeth nice and clear, no cavities, no problems. Whew!

I had to help design the 2nd monitor on dentist chairs for one of our customers. Pc has to be in the clean zone. That screen has to be able to be wiped down and is in the splatter zone.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 18:58

I wonder if "must have reclining seats" is one of the criteria a dentist follows when buying a car?

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 22:50

It'll be interesting to see if there's any fallout* from the works event that went on today. A few free drinks and then 50+ of us ten pin bowling. It all started at 3pm, so as I left at 8pm, there were a fair few completely plastered folk.. most of whom are due in work in the morning.

* At the last one, one bloke told another 'You're a c**t. Your wife thinks you're a c**t and your kids think you're a c**t'. To be fair, he was right, but it still didn't go down well)

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 23:19

KovacsC wrote:

I had to help design the 2nd monitor for my ultimate wanking set up. Pc has to be in the clean zone. That screen has to be able to be wiped down and is in the splatter zone.

metalangel · **Posted:** Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:30

Went to my doctor's office. Their shiny, new, ridiculous practice. You know how many GPs tend to have their practices in a converted house or an extension on a house or something? That was true of mine, it was a five minute walk. Now it's a ten minute drive and fucking look at it. I thought the new hospital nearby was over-designed, but this is way beyond.

Anyway, open surgery in the morning. It's great, right? You wake up feeling dodgy, or indeed are dodgy the night before, you just wander in, take a seat, and when they're available, get seen. But NO! They open at 9am. I got there at 9:15am. "Okay, come back at 11:20, when their *something something* list will have been done and they will see you."

Prior to that, the patient she'd been talking to was told something of "yes, we wish they wouldn't wait outside like that either" so I suppose the old open surgery trick of camping outside like it's a rock concert or something to ensure you're first in when they unlock the doors is still in effect.

MaliA · **Posted:** Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:32

Quote:

Wiggins said that it was really noisy with all the fans on that final climb and Froome misheard Sky's race director Sean Yates urging him over to radio to, "Slow!" Slow!" , in all that noise, Froome apparently thought he was saying "Go!" "Go!".

<raises eyebrow>

yeah. totally that.

metalangel · **Posted:** Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:56

I typed 'Dune Ornithopter' into Google image search and found this:

Possibly NSFW?

She is about to slide her hand down the front of her skirt. She's feeling orni!

But also this.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 35
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