Be Excellent To Each Other

Right, what the fuck is this?

It was wandering across our living room floor. It's not the largest spider I've ever seen in the UK - its legs were relatively short, but its abdomen was fat and huge, and it was a chunky thing. It also has a pair of (I assume) massive black fangs. I tried my best to get some decent shots of it - it's in a pint glass if you're wondering about scale.

Can anyone identify it? Is it carrying babies or something, hence the fatness?

Its markings remind me a little of a garden spider, but the extent of my knowledge on spiders is pretty limited. Plus, it was in the house... (Edit: It's nothing like a fucking garden spider. I have no idea what I'm on about.)

http://i.imgur.com/6r5SY.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/AVAbH.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/LM2aE.jpg

That's a bit of sawdust next to it, in case you're wondering. Result of having a rabbit running around...

edit: I didn't kill it, by the way. I gave it a nice safe spot out in the garden.

Aww... baby Shelob!

We had a Woodlouse Spider a couple of weeks back:

http://www.uksafari.com/woodlousespiders.htm

One of the only spiders in the UK that can give a harmful bite. Nice.

It's Quelaag, get a +10 Halbard.

Looks liked a Lace Webbed Spider to me.

That's the very one I've just been checking out - on that same site as well!

And it looks as though Dimrill wins. Can't find anything else similar. A female too! Apparently the ladies have a fatter abdomen - the males are quite slim and elongated.

Cheers!

yay me. i am the greetest.

Fuck me, I was casually trying to stop one of those running away on Saturday, because it was on one of the chilli plant pots as I repotted them. Millimetres away from my fingers it was, and quite obviously agitated.

Mostly I was glad it didn't jump into my face, but now I know different!

Edit: And now I think about it, the dozens of tiny spiders we're trying to cultivate in and around the greenhouse look like tiny versions of that. Er.

Yeah, that's a lace-webbed jobber.

Usually a fat arse doesn't mean it's carrying babies (as far as I know, almost all spiders lay eggs in an external sac) it just means it's well-fed.