Be Excellent To Each Other

I think for me it's Paddy McGuinness, who is your worst comedian?

Malc

Too many to choose from. Basically everyone currently doing the rounds on panel shows repeated on Dave.

Whilst I'm not a massive fan, anyone who's ever seen "take me out" has seen Paddy McGuiness work his arse off. He earns his money on that show.

Peter Kay, Michael McIntyre or Dylan Moran. Stoney silence from me each time.

Yes, yes, GTFO.

For a working-class northerner, I have an unhealthy and probably shameful amount of contempt for working-class northern comedians who talk about working-class northern shit. Especially Jason Manford, who I'd call a poor man's Peter Kay if that wasn't already what Peter Kay is.

Mumble mumble mumble mumble *messes with hair* I DUNNO! mumble mumble *squints* mumble mumble *sips drink* mumble mumble I DUNNO! *messes with hair*

I can't watch that show. I mean I hated blind date in the 80s/90s but bloody hell that was about a million times better than take me out.

Malc

Kay has made me laugh, McIntyre has made me chuckle, and Moran has made me smile, McGuinness has never done any of that.

Malc

I've seen him live and he made me laugh so hard my jaw ached.

I don't mind Moran, but Dimrill's still being pretty damned astute, there. I've seen a gig in which the first words out of his mouth were "I dunno". That's a fucking woeful opening gambit.

You move your jaw while laughing? Who does that outside of Omid Djalili's evil arab laugh?

I saw MM in Newbury a bit before he was on everything. I laughed my tits off. He was awesome. Recently, Chris Addison did 2 hours of brilliance in Leeds. Worst is Simon Anstell. I had such high expectations, but he did less than an hour and mist of it was average. His warm up was from Norway and was shut. I'll tidy my spelling up later as I'm using turnips.

Ooh! Mickey fucking Flanagan.

Shit, I think I just got Moran and Flanagan confused!

Malc

Moran's gigs are funny but rambling and short. I think he did under 45 minutes when we saw him in Aldershot and managed to piss off the entire audience.

Yeah, when you said Moran, I though you meant Flanagan, I've only seen Moran in Black Books, which I thought was ok, and it made me laugh more than once. So, McGuinness still stands.

Malc

The only time I've ever smirked at him was when I saw him in Wolverhampton and he was talking about his perfect body with an "arse at least 15 feet away so somebody else has to deal with it" The rest of his set was just not funny and the rest of the audience didn't respond well to him either. Polite chuckling mostly.

Flanagan has made me chuckle a few times. He's pretty funny for a Cockney cunt.

Jack Whitehall. Although, I suppose that's a bit like saying you don't like Justin Bieber. On YouTube.

Paddy McGuinness did some great shit about the Troubles back in the 90s.

Oh gods yes Whitehall.... jesus.

I had no idea Jack Whitehall was a comedian! I thought he was a presenter on E4 or something? Show's how good he is.

That bald bloke off Mock The Week who delivers every sentence in exactly the same metre and cadence, with the worst pregnant pauses ever.

Andy... thingy. I've chuckled at some of his stuff. I remember Milton Jones' tour a couple of years ago had the tagline "The one with the funny shirts on Mock the Week" on the posters. Needless to say I wasn't rushing to see him. Plus he steals jokes from Poo Fart Wee and passes them as his own on film.

Ooh close call....

Andy Parsons, GRJ accent, but nothing else about him is funny,

Malc

Jack Whitehall
Michael McIntyre
Gina Yashere
Andy Parsons
Peter Kay

Those five make my blood boil.

Jimmy Carr used to make me laugh but his act has grown tiresome now.

I quite liked Whitehall in that student drama thing, but other than that I don't really find him funny...

Gina is a bit one dimensional, but, she has occasionaly has made me smile.

Malc

I don't find Michael McIntyre or Omad Djalili funny at all. In fact, I once turned down free tickets to a Djalili show (I might have misspelled both names but whatevs).

I don't get all the fuss over Lee Evans either.

I agree with Gina whatsherface. Awful.

I like Milton Jones. Has some corking one-liners, and I like that sort of thing.

My least favourite would be Peter Kay, despite it being te very obvious choice. Though I did like some of Phoenix Nights.

Ooooh! Russell Kane!

Tries to be clever and alternative. Utter wanker. Heckled him off stage in Greenwich, the tosser.

Most stabby-making comedian ever. With his baggy mouthed, hollow-nasaled fake cokerny out-out same unfunny as last time alwight innit mah wife out out, aht aht, gnghhhh.

What did you say to heckle him off stage?

Also, Shappi Khorsandi.

Just general boo shouting. He was sinking fast with his lame jokes, so did his usual awful "Oh, you don't get this, you just want the mindless fucking filth" whilst making a wanking gesture. I just sighed.

He got some boos, which I joined in with. Then he said something about equal opportunity heckles, and some people liked him. Some wit at the back shouted, "No, we all think you're shit", and he (fair play to him) said "Then that's a problem. Thank you and good night!"

I did once directly heckle off someone by asking if they could do the splits.

I used to like him on Mock the Week. Then I went to see one of his shows and it was just awful.

Sarah Millican.

What kind of wrongoid thinks Dylan Moran isn't hilarious? You internet people are weird.

For content: Harry Hill's very existence perplexes me. The 'comedy' shirt collar, the stupid voice, the weird expressions he pulls and the utter lack of funny in every line he delivers. It's just...shit.

As most of you know by now, Dylan Moran used to live in the flat next to mine. Lucky him.

As for my entry: Jo Brand. Go away, Jo Brand.

Sarah Millican used to be quite good when she was starting out. She did a great open mic spot at Greenwich once. Now she seems to tread the well trodden female comedian path of "When I'm sad, I eat cake, When I'm happy, I eat cake'

Not as bad as Gina Yashere however.

Gina Yashere was on Def Comedy Jam, though.

Rob Brydon.

'nuff said.

Having not seen much standup, or many of the comedy panel shows, it limits my choces to one:

The people behind Little Britain are so unfunny they make me want to punch myself in the face.

I just hate his whole schtick, it's so utterly unfunny and unconvincing that what he says doesn't matter.

God, yes. I know he's supposed to be a tosser "in character", but it's still totally unlikeable bollocks. And then you see him on a panel show and realise he's fairly horrible anyway.

He sat opposite me on a train on Friday with his family (they got on at Luton Airport).

Talked the whole bloody way. Shut up, you irritating man! It's a commuter train. We don't speak.

Saw Heston Blumenthal on Friday, too. Quite the day for well-known people.

You all don't know.


Chris Ramsey. He's the poor man's Russell Howard.


Think about that. Then do a google image search and tell me your urge to kill doesn't rise.

One really shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

However, I have just bought a pitchfork, some petrol and a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range.

Most,if not all, female comedians.