Be Excellent To Each Other

Surely there's a better piece of software for making a CV than MS Word? It's just so fucking restrictive. You can't put anything anywhere without fucking something else up. Is there a piece of software that will just let me put text exactly where I want it to go?

ARGH.

mspaint?

Yep, sorted! Cheers!

Publisher? (Note.. I've never used it. Word seems fine to me)

Or go for the novel approach and create it in Minecraft.

But seriously, if you want to do something on a CV in Word and cannot, there are two potential reasons.

1 - You are shit at Word
2 - You're trying to do something pretentious and wanky

In my experience, submitting a CV electronically in anything other than Word is asking for trouble. Mine was a PDF, briefly. It didn't last.

What should I be doing? It's not wanky - I just want to have text in areas Word conventionally doesn't like you to have them.

Is using tables my best bet? So far, my bright idea is to create a multi-line four column table. This gives me places to put words in. I fill it in, get everything where I want it to be and then make the table invisible. Is there a better way than this?

Good. Here's mine

Oh sure, I get that. Basically what I'm really asking is - how can I be less shit at Word?

The table thing does seem to be the key! After downloading a few (reasonably nice) templates, it appears everyone uses tables, so I must be on the right track, right?

For reference, my current CV is literally a Word document with no special formatting whatsoever. Literally bolding, underlining, tabbing and entering. It's pathetic.

I will teach you.

£100 an hour.

I'll boil it down:

DOES EVERYONE ELSE USE TABLES?!

Is that the trick I'm missing?

Nah, I do the same shit you currently do, but with the addition of a massive CDC. Got me plenty interviews, but none of the jobs I apply for are to do with design or owt like that. They'll probably want a CDC spunking on the Lympics logo or something.

I use tables.

Create a table with two columns. Add text. Print. Forward to x companies. Play games. Await money. Easy.

Edit: I like to add colour down the left hand table; like an off-white. Then I remove the table except one line separating the tables right down the side. SASSY.

No tables on mine, just plain formatting stuff.

However, if I want to make a document where I don't have to fight the word processor, I usually use Pages.

Done! I'm annoyed that I've left so much space around the edges, but it'll do. Grr.

I would've thought a PDF would be better, as isn't there less chance of the formatting going wonky than word (where people do fuck about with page and margin settings)? That being said, I suppose I have had to show people how to open PDFs before.

For this job, I was so eager that I submitted both a .pdf and a .doc. I got the job, but I think that was more to do with being the only candidate . My CV was excellent though, as I was lucky enough to have someone in a similar position to my potential-boss that was happy to help me with it.

Just a little smidgen of advice from someone who managed lots of people, and who has reviewed hundreds of CVs and who is a pedantic son of a gun: do not underline anything other than the very top-most heading, if you must underline anything. Underlining stuff rapidly becomes very tiring on the eye and smacks of ill-judgement. If something is put in bold text it does not need to be underlined as well. It is ugly and distracting. Urgh. Choose a larger font size where necessary and be consistent.

Bold text in a slightly larger font for sub headings wins the day.

Do not put 'CV' or 'Curriculum Vitae' or 'Resume' at the top of your CV; it looks amateur. Of course it's your CV; It's your CV. Think: I have just picked up a book and the first thing I read is "A book".

YOUR NAME
Name, address, contact info
If you are under 40 years of age, include your date of birth. If not, don't. People are fickle, awful judgemental bastards.

Personal statement
You are great. You think the company you are applying to join is great too FOR A GOOD REASON. Explain why your coming together will be of mutual benefit. Do not be afraid of talking yourself up, within reason. Don't be afraid of stating that you wish to develop a certain skill or behaviour and you have identified the company you are applying to as being able to help you achieve this. People are vain. If you have undergone a significant career change in recent years, you may wish to include a brief sentence describing what brought this about.

Career history
inc
Achievements - say I did x and it achieved Y where Y is a tangible fact i.e. you saved £x or sold £x, or FTE time or implemented a change in policy for the better where it stuck.

Education
It's worth giving a little bit of detail down to GCSE level, if you achieved 5 or more grades A-C. if not, then feel free to skirt over qualifications if mediocre. In 15 years only one employer has ever asked me for my degree grade (which is mediocre) and they didn't give me the job due to being prescribed arseholes. If you got a 2:1 or above, sing it loud and proud. If not, shut up.

Interests

Try not to be boring i.e. "I LIKE FOOTBALL, DUH."

References.
Don't say "References can be provided upon request". It makes you sound simple. Either include references alongside your CV or don't mention it until asked.

For all of the above, a few bullet points for each heading is fine. What you want to do is capture someone's interest enough to make them want to find out more and so invite you in for interview. Do not write an essay describing your most recent role. Avoid describing every job you have ever held other than the job title company and start/end date, but do include everything to ensure there are no gaps; modern employee screening systems may reject you if there is a period of your life that is not articulated. Only describe in any real detail the last two jobs you held unless something earlier in your career is more relevant. Keep job statements neat, succinct, relevant and to the point. This is a valuable skill to demonstrate in and of itself. That's what every employer wants to see, even if you are a 'creative' type.

Submit it in Word, and avoid any version of Word later than 2007.

A well-written CV should be no longer than two sides of A4. People are idiots. Especially those who work in HR. If your CV "won't open", it'll likely be ditched without further contact.

A photocopy of your erect penis will only impress if it is eight inches in length, or more.

I've only ever been responsible for selecting CVs and interviewing candidates once before. It was hard work.

If someone had submitted a CV like Wullie's I'd probably have give them the job.

I'm an IT guy, so I mostly go through recruiters, not direct to the firm. Recruiters often take your contact info off when submitting your CV to the company, or at the least, add their logo (and in my experience, fuck up all your careful formatting in the process). Hence PDF is a no-go.

Plus, at least two people didn't know how to open them.

That's some good advice, Hugh. If you had to provide a covering letter would you knock the personal statement on the head?

I've been using a .pdf where possible, as it removes the possibility of having track changes still on. I know a few lawyers who have recieved contracts from the other party who haven't taken it off, so I'm super careful.

EDIT: Although, given my resounding success in finding gainful employment over the past two years, I'd basically not listen to me.

I've got a CV sift coming up in the next week or so, and indications are that there will be at least 500 of them.

My filters to throw away without any consideration given to the detail to get this down to a manageable level are as follows:

- Photo on the CV
- Other pictures on the CV or covering letter (You're 21, you live with your parents, you do not have a corporate brand which requires a logo on your letter)
- Slogan on the CV
- Colours, unusual fonts, other formatting decisions on the CV "to make it stand out"
- Not referring to the job in question in the covering letter (or worse, referring to another job)

I can normally reduce the number by 80% in this simple filtering process.

I did have another filter last time which was the covering letter making reference to something regarding the job spec, which clearly wasn't in there. However, discovered last week that in many cases, this was probably caused by them reading something on our website and cross referring (which was wrong itself).

You should throw half of them away as you don't like to be around unlucky people.

I think I've posted this before here. One person a few years ago sent in a CV and written across the top in bold italics was written "Some people are good for making a cup of tea, others for making a change to your business. If you're looking for the former, don't bother calling me". We didn't, and they then kept calling asking why they hadn't been called in for interview.

I should have added on the list above the most obvious one. Not attaching a covering letter where we've specifically requested it (half of one sift was binned on that basis alone). Beyond checking it exists, and it mentioning the job spec, I pay no real attention to it.

I heard a story once from someone who had worked in HR for Dolland & Aitchison. They were typically massively oversubscribed for opticians -- hundreds of applicants per role. His first sift was to remove the 50-60% of candidates who mispelled "Dolland & Aitchison".


Hah!

Do people really put 'interests' on their CV? You're applying for a job not setting up a profile on a dating website, and as such your outside work interests should surely be utterly irrelevant to everyone involved?

My own filtering technique for massive piles of CVs is to reject anyone Who randomly Capitalises words With No obvious Rhyme or Reason. This tends to take care of about 90% of the ones I see.

I don't include an interests section, and its never caused me any harm. Also, Pimps tend to strip it out anyway in my experience.

I think that people get so paranoid about hobbies and interests that they put too much effort into it and overlook the more important stuff. However, one girl did once get an interview from me for having the balls to put "Glastonbury" in a CV applying for an accountancy job.

So the trick is, making yourself stand out is like a red rag to a bull. Blend in, be like the rest and let your text do the talking?

*removes photocopy of naked arse from CV*

*orders windowlene for photocopier*

Come on... With no exceptions?


I got my job as a Junior Developer because I tend interview really well. I got my interview purely because I mentioned that I'm a DJ in my interests bit

I do, but I have ones relevant to technical work ("I run a Linux server providing email and web hosting to 30+ family and friends"). I used to have blogging there too, but I moved that to the career section when I started TUAW. I also have cooking in there, and have had that brought up at interview. I think a discreet interests section can make you seem like a person more than a list of buzzwords and acronyms, which can be a problem with technical CVs. And I've never heard of anyone binning a CV simply because it had interests on it, so it seems like a low-risk strategy to me.

To date, the override that would be appropriate under certain circumstances has not come into play.

In any event - Facebook.

I'd only put relevant interests on there too. For example, the job I initially applied for here was supporting a new web-based product that we were launching. It had been coded as a Joomla component and as I run Consolemad on Joomla, it came up during the interview and went in my favour I think.

I've seen a fair few stating the obvious though. 'I like socialising and watching TV. I also like to breathe. In and out.'

That's an, um, interesting recruitment strategy. "Does this guy have any relevant experience or knowledge? Who care, he's a DJ, get him in here!"



That's an angle I hadn't actually considered where your interests are relevant so it's a good way to 'stealth' further pimping of yourself in there. I don't really have any concrete interests I could stick on my CV that anyone would care about professionally (I doubt reading comics, gaming and general beer geekery would get me very far!) so I was only thinking about it from that point of view.

Turns out it was a damned good one

Is the personal statement really worth it when you send in a covering letter too? Especially if you're only a graduate in a degree with a very broad range and will take a job in any aspect of it.

Employers don't want you to want to do a job in any aspect of your degree. They want you to be focussed on whatever it is they're hiring for.

Yeah, but I'd have to change it constantly for every job I apply for. That would take forever! And a working copy of word...

Have a stock CV and change the relevant bit..

I used to work for the Environmental department of a city hall. We were looking for people to work in sanitation ("street sweepers" and also to go with the garbage trucks...don't know the names in english) and many of the cv's we received were hilarious. One of the was hand written in more than one colour, as is seemed the first pen ran out of ink while he was writing, and under the "Skills" it was written "Very eager to work, etcetera.". Just that.

I also remember another one in other company i worked for that said something like the following under "skills":

"I always understand every bit of every film on my first view. I'm very good at interpreting the hidden messages of it"

I'm using that.

Yes, that's kinda the point...

But the jobs can be in completely different industries. That'd take forever! Just give me a job already!

At the least, it's just "moving stuff around" for each one, to highlight partiular skills.

Indeed. I think the "interests" section can be seriously handy in giving you an edge. If you have two similar candidates, but one of them shares your interest in cooking, you're naturally going to gravitate towards that person. Particularly if you're past the HR stage and somebody who will actually be working with you is looking at your CV.

I've been asked about being a standup in several interviews, so it must have helped me get noticed.

Maybe they didn't have enough chairs?

That... was a reach.

Or Google Docs.