Be Excellent To Each Other

I am of to Amsterdam this weekend. Any recommendations of where to go and what to see & do.

No Zardoz just no, before you say it!

The Banana Bar.

I am going with the Mrs!

but noted

I recommend you get higher than a swarm of bees.

I've been thinking of going to Amsterdam, Megabus have started doing coaches from London to Amsterdam from £4 each way.

Visit the museums and take a canal barge ride.

Off your fucking tits.

Dear Lord, how long does that take?

Departs 08:20 Amsterdam, Zeeburg P&R coach park at Zuiderzeeweg

Arrives 18:45 London, Victoria Coach Station


Duration - 10hrs 25mins

eat an omelette in a bap.

Eat fries with mayonaise and ketchup and mustard.

Have pancakes with syrup and bacon. This might not actually be an Amsterdam invention but it's where I first experienced that initially bizarre sounding mixture.

Watch bikes being dredged out of a canal.

Witness your friend running out of a steak house to pull a whitey in the street.

Marvel at the Pr0n DVD titles/covers in Jazz Shop windows (best from las visit were 'Dirty Chavs Innit' & 'Toothless Blowjobs').

Drink coffee with caramel milk.

Trip the light fantastic at The Cockring.

Stay in bed.

I had a peek in the sex museum and was amazed by the cartoon sex of the 70/80's. The one I went in had a, um, "children's area" (no kids allowed mind) where could sit on a giant mushroom and watch Snow White eat out the witch while getting gangbanged by the dwarfs. Weird shit. .

Everything else was pretty boring stuff, disappointingly.

Sounds cheesey but definitely do a canal tour...best way to see the city (as the centre is always crowded). It doesn't cost a lot (the cheap 'uns are 6 euros) and they are a lot of fun (plus you get to see the Nemo Centre from the sea and that's the best way to see it).

Also if you like meat then take a look at:

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant ... lland.html

It's a brown bar that just serves MEAT...always crowded but if you tell the barman how many seats you want (try to sit at the bar) he'll send you to a much nicer traditional bar across the road and will come and fetch you when there are places available. Go for the mixed ribs and do not make the school boy error of eating too much bread or the salad as you'll never make it through the ribs.

Are you still allowed to do the smoking thing? Isn't it being massively cracked down on.

Last time I read anything about it the government wanted to change the rules so you could only go to coffee shops and buy anything if you were a Dutch national, but the mayor of Amsterdam and local council said they'd never agree to that so stoner tourists shouldn't worry about it. I'm not sure how the officials of a single city can stand against something if it's made law mind you but I never really investigated any further.

how long are you going for, where are you staying and what are your interests?

absolutely do a canal boat cruise thingy, either from just beyond the Leidseplein or from the Spui
have a pancake at Upstairs http://www.yelp.com/biz/pannenkoekenhui ... -amsterdam
go to the cinema at Tushinski http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction ... lland.html
shopping: walk the Kalverstraat en look in Magna Plaza and the Bijenkorf
walk the Flowermarket and the Leidsestraat and hang out at the Leidseplein, Museumplein, Rembrandtplein, Waterlooplein
for civilised tea go to Cafe Americain, or the top floor of Metz en Co (was closed the other day)
the Van Gogh museum is def worth it, but can be super busy to get in, the Rijksmuseum is still only partially open, sex museum is very funny
if you like beer the Heineken experience might be good - no idea
if you like weed go to the Bulldog, please don't try mushrooms it makes people jump from hotelrooms an shoot their cat for being satan. (yeah Coffeeshops are still fighting the membership thing so not much change there yet)

can think of lots more but depends on what you like

I found it refreshing.

The Botanical gardens are good too if you like that sort of thing: http://en.dehortus.nl/homepage


Too touristy I thought, there are much nicer coffee shops if you move from the centre.

Spend a day or an afternoon in the lovely fishermen village of Marken. It's just 25 km away from amsterdam and the public transportation is pretty good and not expensive

I don’t like Amsterdam.

I went there with 3 friends when we were all 18, we were walking down the street and some guy came and started walking amongst us.

He had a knife and demanded our wallets.

We all looked at him, sniggered and said “yeah right” and carried on walking. He asked again and waved his knife but once again, we laughed it off. The guy gave up and disappeared down an alley but it wasn’t until later on we realised what had gone on.

Very strange place.

Spend 45 mins staring at the menu in Burger King.

Yeah.

Brilliant for all sorts of reasons though. I've enjoyed it on many levels, and with lots of different types of folk.

went to uni and lived there for 5 years, never met anyone with a knife

I forgot to as when you are going because if you like tulips http://www.keukenhof.nl/ is the place to go

I am going on Friday till Sunday.

Dirty sex tourist.

I've only ever made beautiful music* with my Wife in Amsterdam, thankyouverymuch. Never fancied stirring the porridge at all, but I like wandering about the RLD for the gawps.

*Not counting wanks, obv.

Seems a fair way to go for a shag though.

You need to stay away from the mushrooms

Was totes going to offer this as a suggestion.



One of my workmates took his then girlfriend there. Now they're engaged.

Having gone on a coach from Chester to Paris once, I’d never put myself through a journey like that again.

We are flying from Manchester... sod a coach...

Sit in a coffee shop/booze boutique & get a laugh at all the half terrified looking window shoppers in the RLD.
Walk around looking for stuff named Ooster for the Real Life Forumites thread.
Get a pole dancing lesson off my mate Claire

I dunno... whenever I've been over & had time off from working I've spent most of my time walking/cycling around, looking at stuff & taking pictures. That & sitting in pubs/coffeeshops talking nonsense with locals & laughing at the Scots words that are pronounced the same in Dutch but not in English.


For me most of the museums & obvious touristy stuff was unmemorable, but I remember a fair few characters & loads of interesting streets & buildings & the like

Is the Blue Bell (just off Rembrandtplein) still there?

Definitely do the boat trip tour of the city; it's a really beautiful place as well as having a multitude of entertainments and diversions.

I don't think I've ever had any food there that wasn't awesome.

You're fucked if you think that bus is going to take you to amsterdam.

I’ve been to Amsterdam twice, both times for Stag weekends. One of them was my own. The reason I picked it was the laid back bar attitudes. You really have to go some to be barred from entry. On the first trip I went on one of the younger guys passed out and was left asleep on a sofa in a bar whilst the rest of us had 2 or 3 more beers. This makes for a good stag weekend as you don’t get the bullshit bouncer’s you get in the UK and the group gets to stay together.

There is a good casino as well, watch the slots though many of them are not straight forward in terms of stakes. If you press the wrong button you can end up betting more that you wanted to!
I found the red light area’s to be boring after a couple of walks around the circuit, it is where most of the action is bar wise though. The Banana bar (never been myself) is full of older slappers, but if watching them shove things up themselves on stage is your thing then fill your boots (you can even be the shover if you pay extra)

Worth a trip and I’m sure there is more to the “stag” side I’ve seen

It is a great city.. In teh doubletree hilton, plying on a imac..

iMacs are great!

Dude, you're wasted.

- What was the highlight of your trip to Amsterdam?

- I got to play on an iMac!

Not yet... just having a chill as been up since 5am!

Walked through China town which on the next street to the red light district. Then had a few beers in the smallest pub in Amsterdam. Had chips with mayo.

Another beer in the Sky lounge, then off out agin at 6..

The imac is awsome it has tv too

Had a sleep..

S[ent a few moments looking for a bottle opener to get into my beer... only to find it is a screw cap

Tell us more about the iMac!

it is big and Silver.... not sure what size I have no tape measure....

Has cute little speakers...

Joking aside about Kov's iMac fascination, that must be one fancy dan hotel he's in.

Having an iMac in my bedroom was the highlight of my week in Miami beach.

Nah, he's tripping out in the Apple Store.

In the Double Tree by Hilton.. not too expensive really.

What an amazing but small City.

Only takes 30 mins to walk across most of it.

So apart from using an iMac, what did you do?