Be Excellent To Each Other

So. If all jobs were paid the same, what would you choose to do for 40 hours a week?

Me, I've always wanted to be an Architect, but couldn't be arsed with all that training and low pay. If I could just swap and get trained, but still earn what I earn now, I would be all over that shit.

Otherwise, I'd love a reactionary job, rather than a pro-active one. Receptionist or something like that.
Also, I always thought the old dude who looked after the off-site work car park had a great job. A little hut, a tv, and stroll round the car park every couple of hours, get there when everyone turns up, piss off home when everyone has left work.

naked wom... awww man, you spoil all my fun.

Bernard Black.

I'd like to craft armour and kill dragons while looting dead bodies, and the like.

On a serious note, I don't think money is the issue with a perfect job, it is the cunts you have to work with! so mine would be something where I only work with nice people.

I've done similar. It's mind-numbing. Granted, it was the era before smartphones (and a Gameboy would have been too obvious) but it was still very very boring.

You can always pretend to be one. And call yourself Art Vandelay!

As for me, being a social photographer of far flung communities round t'world and of modern America would be quite nice. I'd hate to be a war photographer though, a lot of them wind up with serious trauma.

Or a stormchaser. That also would be neat.

Er, what I'm doing now I suppose but for companies and products I like and ALWAYS getting MY WAY with stuff, no changes coming back from marketing cunts.

...or I'd like to have a big ass studio somewhere nice and paint without worry of having to sell anything to survive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZVs7oAHVjg

edit: Damn it, Pete!

Admittedly, my hut would have a laptop.

I would play drums for a living. Whether I was in a boy band, rock band or even recording stuff for TV adverts. As long as I was playing, but or learning about drums then that would be great.

Either that or I'd be the Phantom of the Opera. That's a job isn't it?

Would love to work on a big, worldwide rock tour. U2, Rammstein, Metallica.

I loved being the match night MC for the hockey in Manchester - would love doing something similar for an NHL team.

Basically, I've always had a fascination with stadiums and arenas. I love being backstage, seeing how it is all put together, the logistics, then being part of the show and seeing so many people having a great time, knowing you are part of making that happen. So something like that.

Radio presenter (again), however it would have to be at a fantasy radio station that isn't anything like actual radio stations.

I should just shoutcast again, really.

Durr.

Restaurant reviewer, obv.

Based (somehow, details to be added later) on the Craster scale.

Actually I can't have radio presenter because that did involve naked women at certain points. Probably not so much these days when stations install webcams in the studio. Actually I'm better off out of it, wouldn't be the same.

Is the job allowed to involve topless women?

You don't understand. You cannot settle into doing anything you've brought with you, because at any given moment you can and will be interrupted with work.

My current job is like this. I was sitting trying to play Diner Dash on my iPhone last night and was being interrupted constantly by the phone ringing, by someone coming over to give me a fax, by someone else announcing their driver had just been kicked in at Prestatyn, that there was a body hanging from a tree at Ystrad Rhondda within sight of passengers and all services were on stop (really).

The same was true at my job being the guy in the hut. Your phone would ring, you'd be called to come and assist somewhere else, a vehicle would arrive at your gate and need letting in or out or directing elsewhere. Hell, on one occasion they forgot I was there and I ended up working several hours of unexpected overtime, thinking I was still needed.

You will almost certainly NOT be allowed a laptop. You will have read your copy of EVO twenty times over. If you have a computer, many websites (BETEO is blocked for me) will undoubtedly be blocked. Your supervisor won't be happy to keep finding you arsing around on your phone every time they come past.

So when the job itself has no stimulating or challenging activity BUT requires you to be ready at the drop of a hat to go and work, when any distraction or stimulation you can provide yourself likewise has to be dropped at a moment's notice, but you have no idea when that might be and that it could be in the next 30 seconds or the next 30 minutes... you start to go quietly insane. I can walk away from my desk for two minutes to go for a fucking piss and come back to find everything's gone wrong and they're wondering where I am and why I don't know what's going on. Or I could sit there for the entire day and have fuck all happen, but absolutely no privacy because at any moment someone else might come up to me.

Isn't that, like, every office job?

It depends entirely on the nature of the work you do, so no.

Hahaha! I built Beex in an office job

That explains a lot

Umm... whether milk was used in the preparation?

Prevalence of food built into a soft dome shape.

Or whether it wobbled.

You are talking about your job, not the job of the dude in his little hut that I used to chat to when I worked there. He had no supervisor, nobody bothered him, he talked to people when he wanted, sat in his hut when he didn't. His job was to just "be around" so that nobody tried to nick all the cars.

It's basically jelly and ice cream, isn't it?

Those japanese "eat food off a naked woman" place.
First thought is always, that would be fun.
Second thought is... oh, that's why it is always sushi...

Something to do with women in bikinis.

Being one of those photographers on ANTM would be good.

Stop eating food off the naked form of that woman who collects her piss in bags around the back of the bins at Sainsbury's if her tits taste of fish.

You missed the part where I said I used to be the dude in the little hut, and that it wasn't that different overall. Of course he has a fucking supervisor, whether you saw them or not.

The supervisor is a guy sitting in a little hut watching 10 CCTV monitors pointing at carparks.

I could do that job.

You seem to be under the impression that this was a big time operation with multiple people involved.

It was an old guy.
In a hut.
Who looked after about 50 cars.

He was paid by the company I was working at, just to be there.

You could just own the car park.

If I can't be a Top Gear presenter, I think I'd quite like to be a HGV driver.

Hmmm.. Choice between Twat and Murderer... tough choice.

Ah, the ironing.

Am I a twat then?

Fine, continue just hearing the parts you want to hear, I'm sorry I wasted my time on you.

You're making the same "joke" as one.

Erm, guys?

Sorry, I'll try harder. What is a spoon? Right? Am I right? Eh? What's a spoon for, eh? It's not like a fork *cheers*. You all like forks, don't you! But not spoons. Never spoons.

Now you tell me to fuck off.

Bingley bloke he was. And someone pointed to a delivery slip that was on the bar in a pub and said "Sutcliffe's firm, that are. Used to work for them, him". Local famous, is that.

The Top Gear guys are proper cunts, though.

WTF?

Jeez, who pissed on your chips today.

No I won't. It was ironic.

What the Hell?

Looks like it sprayed onto neighbouring plates, too.

I'm not sure I could top a job where just this morning I was asked to help someone put the Vengaboys' 'We're going to Ibiza' into a Powerpoint presentation.

I think I would take the job of "general internet mod of the world" and ban you all from using it.