Be Excellent To Each Other

You know how in gaming there's characters that just try and kill you, like Goombas, Dobkeratops and your own plane in Flight Simulator? And then there's characters who are alright, like 'arrow to the knee guard' and Peyj from BG&E and so on?

Well, there's another type of character - the dick. Not necessarily a dick in the same way that The Flood or Helghast or such might behave like dicks, but they're dicks regardless of their propensity for killing one through the face.

My opening gambit - Manager from Zookeeper. He's not giving the animals enough food and they're kicking off and it's all his fault. What a total dick.



Who are your gaming dicks, and why is that, then?

TELL ME!

Barney. He's owed me beer for ages.

Princess Peach. Grow some balls and look after yourself, you needy bitch.

"Cousin! How about a drin....*CLICK*"

Fuck off.

Every fucker you meet in a game world who you are saving from impending doom charging you for goods and equipment.

Roman is fucking hilarious.

Captain Price - moustachioed cunt
Kent from Dead Rising
Crackie
Baird
Johnny Gat from Saints Row (in fact, the whole cast could be thrown in)

No.

Q*Bert.

I've never liked him.

Prick.

You do realise I can ban you now?

Especially in Mass Effect. I'm super high-ranking military personnel, in charge of an almost priceless starship, and I have to buy my own fucking guns? Fuck off, mate.

That kid in Dragonsreach on Skyrim.

Yeah, there should always be a 'dry slap' button assigned to every game for such instances.

FAIL

Obvious...

Nickachu

Dick.

Actual lol.

Look at him.

Smuggler from Deus Ex can piss off. You need some LAMs to scuttle the superfreighter while simultaneously warning him of a raid on his hideout. Does he give you a discount? Does he fuck. 'I like what you're doing, but I have to cover costs'. I let MJ12 raid him.

Is he in a game though? He probably is, innee?

Arcade Pool

Famous? More like infamously obscure.

Ok then, Gaywood.

Maria. Willy pays her to clean up his mansion and she demands that he does it himself. I'd have fired her, rescued Esmerelda and told her to do it.

Git. I'd managed to forget about that thing until you posted that.

Yup.

"The Wilder Brothers are squabbling with Stuart again..."

The government guys from RDR were irredeemably dickish. And Piggsy from Enslaved was an utter belm.

Good lord. it's mrak. *looks at face* *looks some more* look at him *looks* why don't you post more mrak?

Whose the one that tells you, you have to fly a plane through hoops to advance the story in Vice City and San Andreas?

shudder

BOTH OF YOU can fuck off out of my garden.

Errrr, also, Rule 34... NSFW link

What pile of shit is that from, and how can I make sure I never play it?

It's a world of warcraft boss.

Ahh. Another reason to go on the already lengthy "Reasons I'd rather rip off my testicles than play this game" list.

Me? Oh, okay...

Um...

As it wasn't really funny, I'm going with "furry pervert". Glad I could help.

Lewie's looking good.

Gridrunner - "Bastard Lasers" (along the top and left).

Total dicks.