Be Excellent To Each Other

Here's what's happened - I've joined a gym and need extra kit, so I went to get an extra shirt and shorts.

I went into Sports direct, which is an awful lace. In there, it's as if I've gone to an N-Dubs concert, closed my eyes and reopend them to find the chav rapture just happened and I'm surrounded by ten thousand empty shitty tracksuits.

Anyway, I find a running top and a pair of blue Umbro shorts, on the stand marked 'shorts'. Four quid they were, and they looked decent enough, stadard Umbro fare. I get them home and go to try them on.... there's that white mesh stuff inside. You know, like they have in swimming trunks that look a bit like shorts but aren't. Thing is, these would make shit bathers, I'd probably sink in them, they're so heavy. They look externally for all the world like they're for running in on a quite cold day. Almost knee length. I can post pictures.

That doesn't explain this white mesh internal pant thing they've got though - do you Bezzies wot run ever use or hear of running/training/gym shorts with a mesh swimming trunks type lining.

I don't know what I've bought!

Every pair of training shorts I've ever owned has an inner mesh lining; if that wasn't there, you'd risk having your nutsack and knob in full view when doing any floor work, benchpress, flat flyes and crunches etc. (One exception: Speedo shorts that my mum bought me for Xmas once years ago. You'd probably get nicked for wearing 'em in a public swimming baths. Fine to a degree when I was 34 and had a 28" waist, but they'd look like a cheese-wire in my arse now)

Can't say my shorts are particularly heavy though; think I pay about a tenner a pop, so nothing too fancy?

Edit - knee length? Sound like long johns lol. I generally only do treadmill work and am a ponce; can't really say owt about outdoor/weather stuff, which I'm assuming these are.

A day before I was due to fly out to Barbados for a week in 2008, I realised I didn't have any swimming shorts.

A trip to Sports Direct later, I had bought myself a spiffing pair for the princely sum of £4.00.

Upon arrival at home, I thought I'd try them on (damned if I'm trying them on in the shop!) and realised that they were not fit for purpose, on account of them being designed for eight year olds.

So, with the mesh inner - do you wear pants under it?

I have some shorter Umbro shorts and I've had a bollock out a couple of times at the gym already with those and some normal trunk boxers on. Proportionally I've got meat &veg larger than they should be relative to my Kylie-sized arse of freakish smallness. Thus anything that fits my buttocks reasonably splays the old chap every which way, it's a nightmare. Pants should be fitted like bras, with two measurements.

I think I have the same Speedos as you for swimming as well - small black shorts with mesh lining, but they're both shorter than a Beyonce video extra's and quite flappy so the moment you hit the water they float up. One might as well wear a tight white swimming thong and tuck a flannel into the waistband front and back for all the dignity it leaves me.

This is why I don't exercise normally.

Been there, done that, figured it out. You need a seperate pair for swimming. These are, I dunno, calf-length - basically bike shorts but without the padding, so not baggy or with that lining thing. Equally you couldn't wear the swimming ones for non-swimming things, as that would be Borat-weird.

And no you don't wear pants under either (holds breath, hopes is correct).

Whenever I found I've accidentally bought some shorts with that stupid fucking inner lining, I've been known to take a pair of scissors and cut that shit out. You heard me. It's the most uncomfortable restricting thing ever (assuming of course you actually have any nuts) and I can't be doing with it. You know what keeps your junk inside when you're working out? PANTS AND BOXERS. Anything else is superfluous and shite.

Well, I don't need to wear pants under my shorts mate, but I've a bigger arse and smaller knob, by the sounds of it anyway!

Try buying a bigger pair of normal length shorts; you can always tie the waist tighter.

It's all relative, I suppose. Knob-wise, I mean.

I'll try with pants and then take them off if I feel silly.

The idea is you don't wear pants and the mesh does the job. I still wear pants regardless.

And I have massive balls.

I always worry that the mesh might end up feeling a bit sexy, with disastrous results...

mesh sucks (unless you are on the beach, and then the sand doesn't collect in it)

I prefer it with a proper lining, much more comfortable, although you do end up with a load of sand when you wear them on the beach.

Malc

Wait, what? When bots exercise they don't wear knickers?

Boys.

I cut the shorts off and wear the mesh. Makes you run much better.

Flash back to 24 years ago, 3rd year PE, shorts on top of boxershorts, everyone's tackle was hanging out!

Malc

I'd like to hear JBR's thoughts on the issue...

(mostly for Snge snf Flus)

What the heck today, typing? Let go of my phone Mr Dave!

Ange and Flis.

Or often when we're not exercising, too.

MR SUGGESTIVELY RAISING EYEBROWS AND LEERING SLIGHTLY FACE.

Slippery nob gel escapes, slimey nad fiascos, and flaccid lumps under scrutiny?

Irk.

*adjusts netting*

I caught one! I caught one!

I don't wear anything under my wetsuit. Apart from a rash vest or another 2mm rubber vest, depending on temperature. Nothing is under my cycling shorts, either. I used to have a pair of briefs that were my sports underpants until MrsA threw them away for some odd reason. They were really supportive. now, I wear the most supportive pair of underpants I own if exercising, and not on the bike or in a wetsuit.

For science n that. *

I have a pair of dri-fit leggings that have a cotton gusset, which to me suggests you are supposed to wear them without pants. I can't really imagine doing that.

*No science.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Always wear pants.

There is a man in my gym who wears 1980's style short-short running shorts and in order to keep my sanity I like to think he wears bollock coloured underwear. Every morning he lies on the floor on his back and does some weird stretch involving pulling one leg up to his chest. And every morning I look over at just the wrong time. FFS. Stretching like that isn't doing anyone any good.

Ange sounds like the sense of reason here. Weird.

The robots have changed something in the matrix.

I ain't no non-pant wearing fool.

Pervert.

We've all got to get our kicks somewhere

Route 66

Non-mesh feex.

I have mesh in my shorts. I also wear underwear, at least most of the time - nice comfy underwear, some lycra in there (though not a full lycra horror, I hasten to add) for comfort. The mesh is then just insurance in case of drastic pantal malfunction.

But... I avoid those long shorts, too much like football shorts. In fact, just recently I've been craving more short shorts like wot the athletes have, and now I've found a pair I have even tried the liberation of wearing them without underwear and for a run that works well. I would not do that in a gym or anywhere with bending/backside slapping types around.

Today I'm going to the gym and wearing pants under my mesh lining.

I'll let you all know what happens to my balls later.

Theme for next Thursdays pic comp sorted.

Oh yeah I wore them and it was fine.