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 Post subject: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 14:59 
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Here's a letter I've sent to Tesco. I received a reply yesterday which I'll add later, but I thought I'd share it with the group. Enjoy!

Dear Sir/Madam,

First off may I offer my congratulations on the opening on your new huge store in Dudley! My wife and I couldn’t wait to visit it on the opening weekend and have since spent a long time in there. Sometimes on our own, sometimes as a couple.

The shop is fantastic with everything you could ever need under one roof… and more! (Not more roofs, I meant more of everything you could ever need but that point has been lost now so I shall move on)

"But why has this letter been sent to us?" I hear you ask? Well… Ask no longer as I’m about to tell you.

I shall tell you about a couple of instances where Tesco COULD DO BETTER in my opinion!

Upon arriving in your store I was greeted by the sign (fig.A) of which I took a picture and have printed out. Can you spot what’s wrong with it? Yes. That’s right. Surprise is spelt wrong! I have to laugh to myself really as I wondered just how many people have seen this sign. Not only customers, but the people who designed it, the people who proof read it and the people who hung it up! The sign isn’t dirty either so I imagine it’s been cleaned too so add cleaners to that list!

Seriously, if you do employ proof readers, you may want to check their CVs. Did you contact their referees before employing them? Can they spell? Do they check everything you produce?

I was excited when I entered the store but this sign did tarnish the whole experience for me. I spent the rest of the evening not shopping, but looking for more spelling mistakes in your signage. Luckily I didn’t spot any but I did have to give up after a few minutes as the wife complained that I was dawdling.

I don’t think I’ve ever typed dawdling before.

Another instance where Tesco COULD DO BETTER in my opinion is in the stock of your crisps. More specifically, Monster Munch. Even more specifically, the Flamin’ Hot flavour of Monster Munch.

This is my favourite flavour and I rarely eat the beef or pickled onion flavours yet Tesco don’t seem to stock them? Asda do and I would get them from there but I don’t like going in Asda. It’s too far away and my wife always drags me around looking at clothes on the upper level. At least in Tesco when she looks at clothes, I don’t have to go upstairs.

The final instance of Tesco BEING ABLE TO DO BETTER IN MY OPINION is in the stock of milk.

I popped in on a Sunday morning to get some milk for tea and possibly cereal later in the evening. I was shocked to see that you had run out of the 4 pint variety of plastic bottle of milk. I would like to say carton but I don’t want to conjure up images of cardboard. The container was definitely plastic, or it would have been if you had any left.

I consider milk an essential and yet you’d run out! Astounding for a store of that size I’m sure you’ll agree.

In the end I had to settle for a 2 pint plastic container of milk and had to make a special trip a couple of days later to buy more. I bet you’re thinking that this meant I spent more money in Tesco but I’m afraid I have usurped you there. I only bought the milk and nothing else.

My wife however spent £67.80 on the weekly shop.

Despite these annoyances I shall continue to visit Tesco as it is local and I am impressed by the size of the store. I shall however, continue to check for any other unwelcome "suprises".

Yours sincerely




TheVision
P.S. I’m typing this in Word and it has underlined surprise as being spelt wrong. Have you considered using word for your signage?

And here's the link to the picture.

Image

(Mods, if you'd like to embed the picture then feel free. I'm on the mobile site at the moment and can't do it myself.)


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:02 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

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:this:

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:08 
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Bad Girl

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Milk for tea? That's not going to fill you up. Shoulda' grabbed a pizza while you were there.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:08 
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baron of techno

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Brilliant :D


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:29 
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Unpossible!

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Praisebot got angry! :)


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:32 
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Sitting balls-back folder

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:D


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 15:33 
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TheVision wrote:
Another instance where Tesco COULD DO BETTER in my opinion is in the stock of your crisps. More specifically, Monster Munch. Even more specifically, the Flamin’ Hot flavour of Monster Munch.

This is my favourite flavour and I rarely eat the beef or pickled onion flavours yet Tesco don’t seem to stock them?


I just can't help reading that in the voice of :attitude:. Any mention of crisp availability and he just appear unbidden in my mind.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 16:04 
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DavPaz wrote:
Praisebot got angry! :)
Not angry, just very disappointed & still praised them anyway :DD

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 16:06 
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Wullie wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Praisebot got angry! :)
Not angry, just very disappointed & still praised them anyway :DD


:this:

I love it :D

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 16:08 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

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part two, please!

I need cheering up today :)

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 16:50 
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Honey Boo Boo

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Bamba wrote:
TheVision wrote:
Another instance where Tesco COULD DO BETTER in my opinion is in the stock of your crisps. More specifically, Monster Munch. Even more specifically, the Flamin’ Hot flavour of Monster Munch.

This is my favourite flavour and I rarely eat the beef or pickled onion flavours yet Tesco don’t seem to stock them?


I just can't help reading that in the voice of :attitude:. Any mention of crisp availability and he just appear unbidden in my mind.


Yes, but TheVision didn't go on to say "so I bought three pounds of cake frosting and ate that instead".


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 19:26 
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Worst

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If I get sections in all caps, like it was written by Stuart Campbell, I'll probably throw the letter in the bin. Decent 'bad news sandwich' format though. :)

[edit] Heh, just saw bamba's post.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 19:37 
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Love it.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 20:14 
SupaMod
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You failed to put a capital 'W' on the second instance of 'Word' in your p.s.
I hope they pointed that out in their reply :)

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 22:23 
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Awesome. Post of the week.

I recall seeing a sign in Tesco's for the deli, it had a big picture of glistening, succulent olives in a bowl on it. I run up to the counter like an eager scamp. "Ooh, can I have some olives?" "I'm sorry. We don't stock loose deli olives. We've got cheap ones in jars, aisle 3."

>:(

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 22:30 
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INFINITE POWAH

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NervousPete wrote:
Tesco's

I always call it that when I'm in there, hoping it will annoy Tesco.

The mums at school have taken to calling Sainsbury's "Sainsbows" (phonetic spelling - no idea how it would be spelled). Mrs K has picked this up and I pull faces at her a lot.

Vision - jolly good work sir!

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 22:41 
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Can you dig it?

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I heard someone call it 'Sainsers' recently, I didn't particularly like that.

But then, I took to calling it 'Snozburys', which other people probably wouldn't care for. No, I don't know how or why it started either.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 22:42 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Sir Taxalot wrote:
'Snozburys'

YOINK

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 22:47 
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If only Tesco were lovely and wonderful and ethical and cheap and charming and everything we could call them 'Besco'. They missed a trick there.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 23:08 
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You don't think Tesco are cheap?

One of the few things left over from the Mrs' "posh" days is the fact that she pronounces Co-op "corp".

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 23:25 
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Isn't that lovely?

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When I was a child some of my mum's friends used to call Sainsburys "Jay Esses" (as per kissyfer that's phoentic, I don't think they ever spelt it).

Malc

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 23:47 
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Grim... wrote:
You don't think Tesco are cheap?

One of the few things left over from the Mrs' "posh" days is the fact that she pronounces Co-op "corp".


I meant in impossible conjunction with the other desirable traits.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 0:11 
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Grim... wrote:
One of the few things left over from the Mrs' "posh" days is the fact that she pronounces Co-op "corp".


Surely that's less 'posh' and more simply 'wrong'? Unless adding a needless 'r' into words is a signifier of upper class speech and I've just never noticed.

Relatedly, my gran used to pronouce it 'coop' (as in chicken house) and my girlfriend frequently calls it Leo's because, allegedly, that's what it's called in Wales. I don't believe a word of it and think it's really only known as that inside her crazy little mind.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 0:14 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

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Love this TheVision, cant wait for the response!

Didnt the co-op used to be Penny's?


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:12 
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Can you dig it?

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Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Sir Taxalot wrote:
'Snozburys'

YOINK


Sometimes even 'snozzleberries' but that is considered by some a step too far. My sister in law in particular hates this, which is probably why it wasn't quickly discarded.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:22 
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Goth

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If you like that you'll probably like this

http://consumerwrites.tumblr.com/

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:46 
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Menzies Campbell - pronounced Ming Campbell.

John Menzies - pronounced John Men-zees, or John Ming?

Discuss.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:49 
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GazChap wrote:
Menzies Campbell - pronounced Ming Campbell.


Isn't it pronounced 'Ming-is', shortened to Ming (probably for reasons of mercilessness)?

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:53 
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baron of techno

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It's John Mingies too, see.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:54 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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GazChap wrote:
Menzies Campbell - pronounced Ming Campbell.

John Menzies - pronounced John Men-zees, or John Ming?

Discuss.


What's to discuss? :)

It should be pronounced mingus, but nobody does.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:56 
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Tescos is a bag of shite Id literally rather shop anywhere else than Tesco.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:57 
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LaceSensor wrote:
Tescos is a bag of shite


Interesting. Mr Dave?

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:06 
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Craster wrote:
LaceSensor wrote:
Tescos is a bag of sweet


Interesting. Mr Dave?


It is shit though, regardsless of what Mr Dave says.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:07 
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Unpossible!

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Mmm... I could go for a bag of sweets right now.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 15:06 
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Craster wrote:
GazChap wrote:
Menzies Campbell - pronounced Ming Campbell.


Isn't it pronounced 'Ming-is', shortened to Ming (probably for reasons of mercilessness)?

OIC.

Featherstone-Haugh - pronounced Fanshaw.

Discuss.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 15:08 
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baron of techno

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Tesco are to be praised for dropping the "10 items or less" signage though.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 16:33 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
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Did you get a reply?

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 16:54 
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Paws for thought

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KovacsC wrote:
Did you get a reply?

He said he did in the first paragraph of the thread.

And that he'd post it.

And then procrasterated


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 16:56 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
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We want the reply...

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 16:56 
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Two heads are better than one

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Mr Dave wrote:
KovacsC wrote:
Did you get a reply?

He said he did in the first paragraph of the thread.

And that he'd post it.

And then procrasterated Made Beex Weeks videos(*)


FTFY

(*) waiting on this weeks !


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:31 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
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Location: shropshire, uk
Still no update..... :'(

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:34 
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Level 6 Laser Lotus

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KovacsC wrote:
Still no update..... :'(

:this:

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 13:20 
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"Praisebot"

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Oh yes.. I did have a letter back. Let me see if I've got it with me, if not.. I'll let you know what they said when I get home.


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 14:12 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

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Oh you tease ;)


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 14:19 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

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I know, it's like Grim...'s 'what do all these things have in common' thread that bumbles on for weeks. I hope this reveal is going to be similarly entertaining, whereby TheVision gets a voucher for 50p off of Sunny delight, or something.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 18:16 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

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I hope it's like
"Dear TheVision,
Go away.
Yrs. Tesco"


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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 18:31 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

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Dear TheVision,
Go away.
Yrs. Tesco

Attached is a coupon for 50p off any 2ltr bottle of Sunny Delight.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 21:05 
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Worst

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That's better than what the real reply will be. I can sense it.

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 Post subject: Re: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 21:32 
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Level 6 Laser Lotus

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*pokes TheVision with a sharp stick bottle of Sunny Delight*

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 Post subject: TheVision Vs Tesco
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 0:04 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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You know when you tell someone that you know the best joke ever, but then go on about it being a great joke without actually telling the joke, then draw it out further and further, until it becomes less anticipated and more annoying that you still won't tell the joke.

When you tell the joke it is always unfunny... Even if it's actually a funny joke. Too much build up.

Your letter from Tesco is rubbish. Do they even make Sunny Delight these days?

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