Be Excellent To Each Other

Ha, that's great.

I want to see the show now

Sounds about as scary as Look & Read.

You can, but first, you have to... GO INSIDE!

So if we all chuck a tenner in, we can watch a bloke eat himself to death like in Se7en?

Myps and Alberto

Nah, this is them and them is this.

FUCKING ESTATE AGENTS.

I imagine that would be great! Rather than "had a tiny cock, jizzed almost immediately" they'd say "A time-saving fuck from a man with a penis that packs in everything it needs to."

Went for a massive all-you-can-eat Chinese last night with some friends, then we went to the pub and made ourselves feel better by looking at before and after Photoshop pics of celebrities. Which helped justify the 2 bowls of banana fritters, chocolate ice-cream and syrup I had. Well good, the internet, innit?

We had a Roast Turkey Sunday dinner at 5.00pm and by 9.00pm we'd ordered a Chicken Tikka Biriyani and a Nepalese Chicken Curry. I wonder if that had anything to do with watching a few episodes of Master Chef?

More to do with being a fat fuck, I'd have said.

Cor.
Had you had lunch?

Of course.

I've actually cut down on loads of stuff since New Year. No crisps or choccy at work (apart from birthday treats that get brought in) and I don't snack in the evening or drink booze on school nights. I do have a stack of biscuits after my tea though.

You'd hardly recognise me.

Well, it has been an interesting 48 hours. My brothers ex-wife told me that I wasn't to be trusted with the time of his funeral until 24 hours beforehand, due to the possibility of me telling my mum when it would be. When I countered that a) mobile phones exist so 24 hours mean nothing, b) you can't legally bar someone from a public funeral and c) one phone call to the local crematorium would tell me all I needed to know anyway, I was told that it doesn't actually matter what I think and what the law is, if that is going to be my attitude, well I never cared for him anyway and I'm not welcome.

My dad went to see the body at the funeral directors and was turned away on the orders of the ex-wife. Who put an obituary online, saying my brother will be missed by her and her kids and my dad - she spelled his name wrong. No mention of my brothers two kids. Again, to stop my mum and my brothers kids from having any say - or seeing the body.

(Not that my mum is an angel, because she sure as heck would be willing to use the kids to get some kind of access to the body/funeral if necessary. Lets say, they are both as bad as each other.)

Oh, and my aunt, his Godmother flew in from Spain for the funeral. She is barred as well. Still, had a good chat with her on the phone yesterday and caught up - we haven't spoken for a decade.

So basically, I told them both to get stuffed, I'm not playing their games. Tomorrow, when the funeral happens, I'll walk out of work. I'm literally next door to the Liverpool Catholic Cathedral (aka Paddys Wigwam, the Mersey Funnel). I'll go in and light a candle and have some time with my thoughts. I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but it seems like the right thing to do.

And then work asked for a quick meeting with me and agreed to a six month contract extension, on a more interesting project with two days a week working from home.

So, like I say, an interesting 48 hours. Mrs P said I should write a book. They would probably insist it went under fiction.

Big hugs, Plisskin. You are coping amazingly and very level headed, all things considered. Do what's right for you x

ms;cp

(Mobile Site; Cannot POTW.)

It's fine, just do what Gilly does and report it instead.

Not related to POTW at all, but is there a limit to the number of images we can have in a single post on this here forum of ours?

Oh here comes Mr We Need More Rules again to kick the sodding beehive...

I....don't think so.

I do. It's quite high, though.

Ten if you attach them, unlimited if you link to them.

Passengers on that there cruise ship that sank are being offered 30% off their next cruise as a form of compensation. How nice of Costa Cruises.

That's alright though they'll probably get their money back for this one too and the next one probably won't sink. Isn't some American lawyer trying to get £100k for each passenger? That seems a little excessive.

That's the ticket! Cheers!

Also, what did Alberto say? Some quip no doubt!

Punitive, I'd guess. Teach the cruise line companies that they should probably keep a better eye on their ships in future and make sure they don't make unscheduled detours.

Hmm. That's half a billion quid so it'll surely either ruin the company or come from their insurance.

Their insurance, I'd assume. Still, Carnival who own Concordia have a market cap of around $25bn, so it's not out of the realms of possibility that they could just pay it.

Malabar has dyed his hair blonde.

The title and cover of this book I saw in the US history section of the local library pleases me greatly:



Amazon link, but really, I can't read it. I'll only be disappointed.

It's a good job my company doesn't insure that ship!

Oh, wait, yes we do.

Latest update.

My brothers ex-wife told my dad that my brother would be cremated tomorrow at 2.30pm in Burnley. She told me that I would have 24 hours notice to attend the funeral but that my dad would be able to tell me.

My dad received a phone call at 10am this morning. He was told to be at Accrington Crematorium at 1pm today. He was one of six people there, him, his wife, my brothers ex-wife, her two sons and her daughter. My dad and the two sons carried the coffin. (The two sons, BTW, had been thrown out of the house by my brother after they had nicked a few grands worth of stuff and pinned it on my niece.) There was no service, no eulogy. They played three songs. It was done and dusted in twenty minutes. He was cremated as he died and he had recently lived, almost completely alone.

Obviously I was not allowed my 24 hours notice. I'm a literate guy, but there are not the words to describe what I'm feeling right now. Disbelief doesn't cover it.

Thankfully I will never see his ex-wife again. It is easy to say things like "If I do, I swear I'll do time" but in this case, I probably would.

The other guy looks like you…

Jesus Plissken, I'm so sorry.
What an absolute fucking bitch.

And is standing next to you.

I just don't understand the mentality of some people.

Sorry for your loss, Plissken and I'm gutted you have to put up with that kind of shit, now.

Celebrity Big Brother then.

It comes to something, when the sanest person in an argument is Frankie Cocozza...

Bloody hell, Plissken. I really don't know what to say... really can't believe this.

The woman is a such a twisted freak. So sorry that this is all causing you so much more unnecessary upset. Unforgivable.

Indeed. I was positively raging reading that - can't imagine how you feel about it. Hope everything goes well and your brother gets the send off he deserves.

It might be the humour of the damned but my post immediately followed by that photo is the funniest bloody thing in the world.

definitely. What a hateful, spiteful, nasty human being.

I don't know how you are staying so level headed, but I think it says something about the person that you are.

Plissken, that's awful of her.. truly awful. I'm so sorry to hear this and there's nothing worse than having someone like that in that family. It just causes so much pain.

Like you say, thankfully you don't have to see her again.

I'm thinking of you!

Plissken, so sorry to hear about all this. Some people eh?
Glad you're staying above it, not letting it get to you too much..

Wow Plissken, that is unbelievable. Just remember you are worth a million of her and even if you ever did run into her again, she's not worth the breath it would take to so much as tut at her. She sounds totally twisted.

You're all kinds of fucking aces, Pliss.