Be Excellent To Each Other

No, his load!

No hang on, that's... anyhoo, I did blow my nose in fact. In the toilet out of earshot.

I hope you spent half the night explaining the politics of Beex. Ladies find imaginary internet friends ser-exyyyyyyy.

Noted.

Now where's that thread where we each described the consistency of our stools...

Landlord called back telling me not to be dismayed over the unpaid bill. Then we looked at two other places. And had a beer at the top of the hill ( that's where you'll find us, that shit is priceless). My dinner was nice and it's down to the 'shire tomorrow.

<usual dating advice for Ian>

Comparing stools is a third date thing I think. At least if you're a gentleman.

Second is fine if you're in Ikea.

MrsA is crying at Rude Tube. Which is good, as usually by this point she's talking about Alan Bennet plays to me.

Where did you go on your date? What did you wear? What did they wear? Is there going to be a wedding? Should we buy hats? Is there going to be a band? Who was my friend drinking champagne with up the Oxo Tower the other day? Why wasn't I with her? Do I flirt? Not with you, sweetie, we're just having a nice time, aren't we? But I've got to go soon, I'm on vetinary duty at the rescue shelter tomorrow, so we should go now. Let's go to yours.

She's keen and wants to meet up again! Yay me again. Think I'll play this nice and smooth though.

Like that torpedo shaped hummer I had earlier. It was so perfectly shaped like a dolphin I swear it managed to negotiate the U-bend and escape of its own accord.

Good work. You know what to do.

Deny all knowledge of Beex?

Go down to sewerage treatment plant and shout its name until it returns?

I'll leave it until tomorrow now before I text her. Not to be cool or nowt; I just want to watch the last ever episode of The Wire.

The fifth season could have been great but it's a farce. The serial killer story is utterly unlikeable and the clear rush to finish the season off in the 8 and 9 episodes is a dire shame.

I suppose I should prepare myself for disappointment. Here it goes...

You belong here.

No! Not tomorrow. Too soon and you might scare off a beautiful bunny that wants to party. Industry standard is 3 days, play it cool and wait five. I wait seven. Even cooler is waiting ten, call her and say you were clearing out your wallet and ask if you fucked.

MrsA says do none of the above as the film 'Swingers' is not an instruction manual and I'm an idiot.

Maybe she'll find her way here by accident while looking at what people talk about on forums for a friend who's starting a forum.

I know who you're talking about here (I think) but I never knew that was the line used as an excuse for signing up. That's pretty darn special that!

This is the most ridiculous advice ever! MrsA is right! Don't play the stupid games from the start or you'll be playing them forever.

edit: I didn't mean to sound so serious/lamely attempt to be profound. I just think those rules are daft. If she likes you, she likes you, and she isn't going to mind being texted tomorrow. Sure, the whole "leave them hanging" game works with a certain type of girl, but for the most part - assuming she likes you - she'll be chuffed to receive a text sooner rather than later, and probably seriously fucking miffed if you waited a whole damn week.

The key is not to come across as desperate and needy in the content of the text. It doesn't matter if you send it really soon after. In fact, I'd usually go for the old "did you get home alright?" text when I got home myself. Assuming you both parted ways and she jumped in a taxi on her own or whatever. That starts the ball rolling. But hey, I don't even own a red shirt.

WTB is right. If you like her, text her back. Just say you had a good time and hope she got back safely.

Good luck Ian! Listen to MrsA!

Ooh, nice Google front page pic today:



I like the Addams Family. (Fact! Did you know that this is not the actual family name, not until the film? It's merely called that as it is a series of observations of an unnamed family by Charles Addams. Check out the big New Yorker compendium of 'em. They're lovely illustrations, and pleasantly sick.)

Morticia. Would.

WTF is it then?

It's a way of life.

I am now a speccy four-eyes again.

Having had my laser surgery over 10 years ago, i'd noticed that I needed glasses again now, but couldn't be arsed to do anything about it, as it didn't seem too bad. Just a bit blurry at long distance... or so I thought!.

A very mild prescription (-1.25R -0.75L) but fuck me, I can see again! It's like the world has suddenly gone 3D.

Tempted to try these 30 day at a time contacts, might order a box and see how I get on with them.

A timely post, Trooper. I'm sat in the waiting room at Ultralase waiting for a consultation for repeat surgery

I went to the opticians today for a 'contact lens introduction trial' to try and get me to buy contacts. I just couldn't get them in my eyes, and after 30 mins + of trying gave up and walked out looking like I had been in a fight!

Mrs. Wookie wears lenses and had the same problem to start with but has no problem now and sais it was worth it. Although quite recently I woke up to the sound of Mrs. W running round the bedroom screaming and crying, apparently you shouldnt squeeze lemon onto your breakfast pancakes then put your contacts in.
were you trying long term ones or dailys?

dailys, but I really loathe things going near my eyes, so it was always going to be difficult, then after a few failed attempts my eyes had swollen and it was never going to happen. Am going back on Friday to try again.

you belm.

Saying that, it's not exactly natural to put something on your eyeball.

Also: I finally ordered contract lenses to my new prescription last week, they arrived yesterday and I forgot which of my eyes was more blind so spent 10 minutes blinking at tv trying to figure it out...Then I realised it said on the box.

yeah it looks pretty uncomfortable. Mrs. W hovers it 10mm from her eye then looks away (presumably to catch herself out) then jabs it into her eye (a bit like that bit in kill bill). then cries a bit. it seems you must to be rid of

I had that when I did my first fitting. I was late for work on the following Monday, it took so long, too.

The girl who was serving me started giggling, so I started laughing, that really didn't help!

Were you wearing a red shirt?

POTW

Mimi is on ITV1.

... is ITV1 the same as STV? and if so - really? and if not really then thats nasty and if yes really then its not.

Put +1 on to see what you were about.

I'll tell you what it's a out, Grim... Watching terrible telly, that's what.

I only watched it because the wife made me... So there.

I don't think so. What was on STV?

Mimi won!

Yup, that.

Then you've lost me.

Not surprised, I think I lost me as well.

Hmm?

I am kind of scared to ask what you're talking about after Wookie's comment :/

I wasn't sure so went to the itv player to check - there was a program on called "Take me out" , and one of the contestants was called Mimi (who apparently won)

http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/video/?Filter=299449

Take me out is brilliant.

I had the same problem. I tried multiple times with my friend's daily contacts (naughty using someone else's I know, but I couldn't face going back to Specsavers after crying at the contact lense woman) but couldn't get the hang of it. My massive fear of eyes (touching of - my own, other people touching theirs, other people touching mine) probably hang helped. Bedsides, glasses are cool and I look funny without them now (so says my mother anyway!).

I used to have the same problem, but perseverance got me over it in the end. I think it helped that when I first tried contacts I was 18, so foolhardy young bravado meant they weren't going to beat me!
Getting them out was worse...

Anyway, i've just ordered a couple of boxes of the continuous wear contacts, so we'll see how they go. At £39 for 3 months worth (3 pairs) it's cheap enough to try at least.

Did you not get a lifetime guarantee on the surgery?

Most likely, but it was 10 years ago now, not even sure where the documents are.
Plus I wouldn't get surgery again, I don't think. Not if I can buy continuous wear contacts for £120 a year.