Be Excellent To Each Other

If one might edit the above to stick a smiley face on the end, much obliged. Fucked if I'm doing it on the iPod and my glasses are at home.

Looks like a winky to me. What defines a smiley I wonder.

I used my judgement.

Ta, ducks. I've decided that the Brown Cow is now the Official BeeX Pub in Bingley, as Kern and I have been there twice now (unsure if MrsA counts as BeeX or not). So let it written, so let it be done.

Hi MrsA!

I've realised I have a curling pond so I'm going to make some curling stones. Anyone wants to play a game around hogmanay time is most welcome.

Making curling stones is a proper long term endeavour isn't it? I can't imagine it is easy!

Nah, I found a perfect shaped plastic squash bottle which I will use as a mould to make concrete stones with some sort of handle set in the top.

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Reply to my PM then, knobface.

Oh, ha. I meant to PM you to say I was taking instructions from the Diary Keeper, but didn't send it because I'm a bellend.

Ah! I was assuming granite!

Yeah, I was picturing Kalmar commencing a long, skilful polishing process, using methods and tools handed down for generations by a long line of stonesmiths.

I'd be interested to know how well concrete works actually, its inherent unevenness in structure could make for some "interesting" games

I believe that is the traditional material, and they do cost like £500 each.. I'll be cheating

edit: Moulded concrete will be perfectly smooth and flat on the base and sides, so it should be pretty close to the real thing at a guess.

Can't you just use an iron with the flex cut off?

Also Curling stones sounds like a really dry shit.

What about bowling balls? You could just melt them a bit so they sort-of mush into the right shape.

If I had 16 bowling balls I'd just set up a bowling alley in the cow barn instead.

How small are your coos, man?

Tortoise shells filled with suet. Maybe with a bent screwdriver for a handle?

Lolz.

You'll need two navvies with bog brushes for scrubbers too.

They've really gone balls-out for Human Centipede III, haven't they?

No work till 2012 now... well maybe 2013

The basement Games Room is taking shape nicely!


Next up, develop a crippling addiction to boiled fruit cordial.

Very nice. I could do with some shelves like that myself. My stuff is just scattered all over the place at the moment. This is about as organised as it gets...

You have a dusty Mastersystem you filth wizard.

There are two in that photo actually. I should really learn to clean stuff before photographing it.

Yes, one of the fun things about this job is that I can officially say I'm doing it and getting paid an extra £5 for every occasion.

Some lovely stuff there!

Jesus!

And now.. sport. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khg1Xh70x1o

We used to use frozen burgers when we played at uni.

Oi hates doing handover notes, oi does. Screw my successor, I didn't get one of these. I had to knit everythign from scratch.

So: A married couple have been out shopping for most of the afternoon, and suddenly the wife realises that her husband had "disappeared".

The somewhat irate spouse calls her other half's mobile and demands:
"Where the hell are you?"

Husband: "Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money and said 'baby, it'll be yours one day'?"

Wife, with a smile,: "Why yes, yes I remember that my love!"

Husband: "Well, I'm in the pub next to that shop."

Heh.

Come on Christmas holidays, hurry the fuck up!

Damn. There's Christmas music in the office today. I need to find a discreet way of cutting the power to the building.

I left my half full trolley in the middle of Tesco last night, and walked out.

Bloody moronic company moving everything around just before xmas, and then replacing half their stock with xmas items, so they don't have what you are looking for anyway. Which you only find out after you have spent half an hour searching the shop wondering in which random category they think the item you are looking for fits this week.

Oh, and the moronic public who think standing and blocking the aisle is fine. Plus why not wait with 20 other people around the deli counter to get a cooked chicken, for 20 minutes, it's a great use of time and we all know that chickens are in short supply.

Asda next door was fine by the way, remarkably pleasant.

Tesco always seem to have narrower aisles than everywhere else, which doesn't help.

Happy birthday, Mimi!

I was in the huge tesco in Prescot yesterday afternoon. It was mostly empty and an altogether acceptable experience.

I don't understand why a husband, wife and children go to the supermarkets. Or IKEA. It's a pain in the arse trying not to decapitate toddlers with your basket. I have zero patience when food shopping.

Also, I'm still in bed as MrsA has the poorlies.

Indeed. Most annoying, it's not usually too bad, but last night was just ludicrous. It wasn't massively heaving, just everyone who was in there was a moron.

I don't like Richard Dawkins, either. Or the overly smug militant atheist movement that seems to have formed around him. Nor Goldacre.

Staying out the way? Good idea.