Be Excellent To Each Other

Geneticists, probably bored of getting the amount of stick thrown at them during speed dating events and dinner parties for not having done the decent thing and CLONED A FUCKING DINOSAUR, have gotten really pissy. Especially in Russia, where, one, presumably set aside his copy of PRAVDA and shouted "I'm taking this no more!", but in Russian, and I don't speak Russian, so we'll pretend he is like Boris from Golden eye, and you can re-read what he said in that voice. So, Pravda set aside, he ties up his Vans trainers and adjusts his Billabong hoodie and says "I'll show them fuckers". He assembles his friends and "IT IS ON, BITCHES. WE'RE DOING A FUCKING MAMMOTH".

And so begins a story that I seriously do hope ends in fucking awesome. Even if it doesn't work, he can still say "I'm currently cloning a wooly mammoth. How's the paper trade?" before, presumably, high-fiving the guy over the table and doing a pelvic thrust action in the direction of his hostess and really hoping Putin won't shoot the result of the experiment.

Two things.

Firstly, if you're putting mammoth DNA into an elephant egg that has elephant mitochondria, what effect does that have on the end result? Will it still eb pure mammoh? My Moreau skillz are lacking, I know.

Secondly, they'll be stuck at one mammoth, unless they clone loads but then they won't be able to breed for feer of, well, inbreeding. This is not a long term solution to the current lamentable lack of mammoths.

Thirdly, I'm stil waiting for my humanzee.

Look in the mirror.

Why, is he bringing me my shaving equipment and morning cigar?

Mammoths are a bit dull, aren't they?

Ah, but, you need to clone the mammoths before you can clone the sabre toothed tigers.

Also, no they're not, you loon.

Only if you think a massive elephant with fur and gigantic tusks is dull, you complete cretin.

There's good eating on a mammoth...

He's just jealous because they're bigger, cooler and more ginger than he is.

If such a thing were possible.

30% of that is almost inevitable.

You want them to clone these don't you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chamitataxus