Be Excellent To Each Other

Firstly, stfu Zardoz.

您好，失败者！我这周除了Beex Weex沙发上。 Shit, sorry. Forgot where I was for a moment!

This weeks Beex Weex, is brought to you late as I have been travelling through time to bring you the Future. And er...don't question why I didn't come back from the future and post this at the appropriate time. I forgot the clocks went back and it totally fucked up my flux capacitor.

First, cast your eyes over my new car...It's totes drippin' in bitches, two come as standard. Unfortunately, there is no petrol and all the electricity is owned by China so it runs on animals and trees, cuts out the few millions years of high temperature and high pressure a few miles down in the earth's crust. It's also impossible to crash so it's perfect for me. Doesn't hover though so the future is still a bit of a let down.



It was a steal at 4.3m Drachmas, I know right!? Bargain! Yeah, the Greeks took control of all the moneez circa 2053, now I bet you didn't see that coming! I hope you guys don't mind spoilerz.

Now for a look back at the week that was:

We all discussed the merits of laser eye surgerylaser eye surgery, or as I prefer to refer to it, 'are you fuck coming near my eyes with that shit, you mental fucks'.

Some belmers decided it would be a good idea to combine wild animals, children and fireworks. I bet that'll go really well.......

We talked about some games, good choice of subject matter as all men under 45 will be conscripted to the World Army in 2024, which is when the aliens come to harvest us. Turns our we're all just part of a special breeding programme to provide food to the Alpha Centauri spawning grounds, they should've paid more attention to the fact we learnt how to build nukes, like, 100 years before, douche bags. So we destined an entire alien race to rickets and anaemia. Luckily for them, the vegans felt bad so agreed to go on an aid mission.

Myp, in an effort to look less like the world famous kiddie fiddler Santa, shaved his beard and then decided he'd support the gays by growing a 'tashe...wait, what...? Not gays? I thought it was in aid of ball cupping and getting a finger up the arse? Oooh, boy cancer...That, makes even less sense. Fucking weirdo.

As you know, Beex wouldn't be Beex without contributions from the plebs and this week was a doozy! Seriously, you people need lives.
(I love 2038, there was a Roman revival, complete with Gladiators, lion pits and amphitheatres, it only lasted a few decades though. Then we ran out of poor people. To sacrifice. To the lions. Then we ran out of lions because we needed them to fuel the cars. )

So, anyway, contributions, in the form of POTW nominations..These should be post of the month really, because the next few weeks are going to be shit. Just sayin'.
Trooper invents the Floucne-o-meter.
Zardoz shows us he is a lyrical genius.
Wullie expresses concern for a murderous villian.
I really want to see that photo.
Grim... joins me on my time travel adventure and goes back to last Christmas.
MrC accuses Malc74 of being senile and Malc74 shits himself, poor old fool.
I think these guys play too much pinball....

Aaaaand the winner, with 3 whole nominations! This weeks undisputed POTW goes too......The badger fiddling ginger love monkey!

A Special Nomination has come in for insult of the week! Prizes* for guessing who the insult came from....I bet you all got it, didn't you?

Also, special thanks to our fabulous contributors....Mr. Russell, DavPaz, MaliA, Kissyfur, Zardoz, Grim... and Wullie.

I hope you all survive Americas next mercy mission, Iran is where the the crazy bads are and they are going to save us all! The shit gets real in 2015, build your bunkers now.

*No prizes.

Flis is A1 time travelling cool.

2 entries this week, bitches!

flis is best

Not that best, I am too lazy to edit out my mong errors

Also: Thanks to Grim... for the inspiration and sorry for it being late.

Beex Weex just keeps getting better! Where do you people find the time?

Err, dude, shes's a timetraveller!

Totally worth the wait.

Oil! I gave you that time machine to kill Hitler you lazy bugger!

that took long enough!

Awesome

No nomination for "your mum's a crowd puller"? I'm wasted on you people. WASTED.

Excellent stuff!

My one about the dehumanisation of the character in the show MaliA was watching was probably my best post on here ever...

You should probably keep that to yourself.

Oi, modz, I'm still the Beex Weeker, sort it aart.

Sod off. I'm at the zoo.

I hope a rhino tramples your big head.

Also: Fuck you!!

I... no.

...

I thought women were supposed to be good at multi-tasking?

Have you ever tried writing an edition of Beex Weex while watching porn, while trying not to let on you're watching porn? Task and half, fella.

POIDH