Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello!

My spouse and I like to have sex with poultry? Is it really worth it?
I love hens

Why not tell me your impression

I'd rather be a pheasant plucker.

I'd leave them on the floor

Fuck, no. Any lad o'mine tha' canna fight his way out of a paper bag by t'age of five 'll be taken out t'barn and put out of his bleedin' misery.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Clearly the egg, those chickens are a bastard to bring off.

(c) Frank skinner.

How did bacon get added to the poll? I'd raise chickens to make bacon.

[insert egg pun here]

I would like they were me own children.

*Pinches caged arm*

Hmm, still a bit thin.

My brother had some hens. One he got as payment for spending an afternoon ferrying stuff to the tip for a mate, and another his daughter just found in the street, and they couldn't find the owner.

/yokel

Silly! You have to guess who I'm pretending to be.

A guy a couple of houses over has 16, he recently spent around 6 weekends redesigning his garden layout and built them a new coup.

They all lay far more eggs that he can use so he sells the spare ones, so as I can usually get all the benefits of fresh eggs without out the work of keeping chickens I wouldn't bother with them.

It's also worth remembering that at some point the chickens will stop laying eggs and at this point you either kill them or start running a chicken sanctuary. The chickens will not be edible either.

Eh? Does the meat become poisonous they stop laying?

Sister in law and her hubby keep a few chickens. She called one day a bit upset because one of them had died.

"oh no, what happened?"

*blubs* "Martin chopped its head off."

It was already ill, though.

No the meat will just be very tough, you wouldn't, die from it, but it wouldn't be nice to eat.

I think I would keep chickens, the grandfather of an ex of mine had a bunch. Maybe if/when we move.

Next door are on their second batch of chickens. A fox ate the first batch.

Whatever you do, don't rub a chickens behind on a burn. It doesn't help.

(Next word of n the list of words my phone doesn't know and replaces: rub)

My brother's chickens caught the attention of a badger, who apparently are quite keen on eggs. It's incredibly hard to create a badger proof enclosure - the buggers are strong and can dig and will quite happily shred your feeble chicken-wire-and-bits-of-wood fencing.

They need a lot of work if you live in a town then fox proofing will be required.

Also you need to get people involved in looking after them when you go away.

They can be fun though, my dad has some. He has this coup that has a light sensor on the door when its dusk the door closes and then doesn't open again until dawn.

Every night my dad has to heard chickens in. The don't go in unless he goes out to them. There is also an order that the chickens have to use when going into the coup. If one jumps the queue then there is a fight.

Indeed. The advice we had from the badger society (or whatever that bunch of TBloving hippies is called) is to put in stock proof fencing, and then put in heavy guage chicken wire underneath it underground down to a depth of about a metre, and then about a metre out horizontally from the bottom of that, i.e. dig a 1 metre deep, one metre wide trench, ut in the wire and then refill it. Can't be arsed.

Just stick a picture of Craster on each side of the cage.

The chickens would not be happy.

Sorry, the outside of each side.

Pfft, make soup/stock fae them. Braw!

Wullie's back!

My sister has chickens*, they are amusing.

* and pigs and sheep and dogs and cats, proper little country bumpkin she has turned out to be.

I have* chickens

I named them Robocop, Terminator, Predator and Useless. I can't actually tell them apart though, apart from Useless whose feathers keep falling out.