While you guys have been gallivanting through your memories, I've been familiarising myself with Word Wobbler.
Quote:
Fast and furious fun for 8 year olds and over, which will develop their spelling abilities at progressive difficulty levels. The program stores a ready-made vocabulary of 1500 words and offers the option loading in your own choice of words.
To find the letters which spell a given word, you must clamber around a network of criss-crossing conveyor belts, which will sweep you off your feet and away at any moment. And if that isn't frustrating enough, watch out for the word-wobbling aliens just waiting in the wings - and closer!
I can't wait! Shift run-stop aaaaand PLAY!
26 seconds later.
The tape is working.
Doot de doot. Solid blue screen. No crazy loading lines. No sound whatsoever.
2 minutes and 30 seconds later.
Hm? It's loaded. Um... RUN?
The tapes started up again, so it's still loading. Or it didn't load correctly at all and it's just messing about now.
Four minutes later.
Still loading. The tape stops, the caption goes up about 20, then the tape starts again.
Two minutes later.
I was expecting it to be a percentage... it's still going. It's at 500 now.
Five minutes and ten seconds later.
1500 now.
One minute later.
That's reassuring.
Three minutes and fifteen seconds later.
Great. It's finished loading, and now it's... loading.
AND THEN!
"Do you want to see the instructions?"
HOORAY! It took
eighteen minutes and seven seconds from the time I pressed Play to the time it asked me if I wanted instructions. I filmed it. Is that some kind of record?
My name is 'idiot' and I want 'Pretty easy' words. It's time to see what my patience has wrought.
You control the white silhouette with the C=, Shift, F3 and F7 keys and have to collect all the letters of the word in order. You're only shown the word at the beginning of the round and you have to remember it. You can show the word on screen, but it costs you points. The conveyor belts constantly move and can shift you and the snowman faces about. If you end up next to a snowman face or collect the wrong letter, you get booted down to the bottom of the screen and lose a life. Collect all the letters to win the round.
Sounds a bit like Jumping Jack, amarite? Could be pretty good...?
Jumping Jack is fun and amazing because everything is constantly moving! Evern getting knocked out isn't frustrating because it's too silly! Word Wobbler is not Jumping Jack.
In Word Wobbler, the game takes turns moving the player and the conveyors. It takes a couple of seconds to take a turn and you have to hold the button down during the transition in order to move. To collect the 'moustache', I'd have to go up (wait) left (wait) left (wait) left (wait) left (wait) and up. Assuming I'm not shoved about during the conveyors' turn, that'd take around a minute. In silence. (Well, it goes PINGPINGPINGPINGPING when I pick up a letter. Like 3D Hypermaths.) To collect the entire word takes several very, very long minutes.
Well done, Idiot! Next word coming up!I tried it on the hardest difficulty, but I didn't notice any changes. It sure as hell didn't get any faster and I think 'moustache' is a pretty difficult word for difficulty 2/5.
Who made this game? How did they sit through all that loading while testing it? Did they show it to anyone? The only reasonable explanation is that the programmer had three hours to write a word game OR DIE, so he bashed it out in BASIC in two hours, typed in the word list for half an hour, saved it, and then leapt out the window, flew down the street and slam dunked the cassette in the postbox. And then he cried because he had to write a maths game as well. OR DIE.
Speaking of which, I don't have
BMX Number Jump. OH NO.
This is what I'm playing while you're playing CRAP like Paradroid and Drelbs. Jealous?