Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello all. I'm fed up of everyone assuming that every word I say is some kind of cuntishness, especially given that I've been really, really nice in the last couple of weeks, in special private ways that I can't tell you about. Sort of like when Beecher helped Schillinger's son, in Oz. And like Beecher, it's bringing me nothing but pain.

So, I'd like to find a new gimmick. I considered suddenly having an avatar, name, sig etc. that suggest I am some kind of animal (such as a tiger or eagle), as this is quite popular, but I can't think of any I like. Beyond the sloth, and that's not very charismatic. I'm not hilariously keen on sweets or bacon or something. I don't work in any kind of charming location, so the fact that - yes! - CUS is your local postman isn't it. I'm not cute and sexy, so I can't trade on my looks.

My current interests include Eastern European history (interest, mind, I know fuck all really), singing (oh yes), and being too busy working, commuting, sleeping, and trying to stop several people I know from completely losing their own minds, to have any time to cope with my own increasingly debilitating depression and recent serious health concerns, or to even play on my Xbox.

This if the first post where I feel like a cunt, by the way, so well done. Also: please feel free to use this thread to call me a twat, if you can't think of a delightful new persona for me, instead. I would be a fool to not expect as much, so I invite it instead.

edit: And yes, this is hideously self-obsessed, and I'm fully expecting hilarious parody and piss-taking from my firm friends. However, it's this, or every other thread here turns into "CUS IS MEAN " so knock yourselves out.

You can have a go at being rich, if you want.

We love you CUS. Your avatar should clearly be:

Whoa there!

Deep breaths fella, you're with friends, lets all read the banner up top, take it on board and lets straighten all this out for you.

I don't pick up on any ill feeling towards you on here, can you be more specific?

I wish I was good at reassuring words, because you're clearly the best person I've met on The Internet, and one of very few I'd call a real friend.

You don't need a gimmick. Don't hide yourself...

Perhaps I have a high tolerance for cuntishness but I can’t say I was aware of it.

This. In fact CUS has been considerably less annoying than say, 6 months ago, on the other place.

But I thought everything was cool at the moment and had been for some time.*


* Apart from the death ninjas I dispatched at the weekend to steal all his belongings and then hack him to bits, obv.

Woah woah, everyone needs a gimmick. No need to restrict gimmicks, espcially if they involve dancing animals.

Hmm. This is backfiring. Someone start trolling quick and call me a fucker, or this is going to look like some kind of hideous "Awww, everyone tell CUS you love him!" affair, and that's not at all what I expected.

Grim... I like your suggestion. Yes, I could be the new rich guy. I actually worked out last night that I could afford to buy at least a 360 and a PS3 every month, from now on, just out of my 'spare change' from next month onwards, and still afford everything else I buy each month.

What a cunt, eh?

Mimi is excellent at the cute. Maybe she can rustle you up a fluffy bunny rabbit eating a lollipop, or something like that, as your avatar.

I don't think you're a cunt.

You'd buy them yourself? You are clearly not rich enough - step away from the gold card.

Why don't you get rid of that crumby avatar and get me to do you one for £999?*

That might cheer you up.


*Your loaded so no bezzie mates rates.

Oy, you cunt. Buy a GX4000 every month or I'll fight yer.

I always took "CUS is a cunt" to be a running joke. You're lovely. BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY.

I second Grimm... you got a pay rise thats nearly 50% of my income so I would to recommend going with the rich schtick.

Talking of which I suspect Grimm... wipe's his arse on my income.

Just the one 'm' for me, cheers.

I reckon Alan Sugar would be a nightmare to fight. I bet he fits dirty, and he looks as if he's made out of leather thats been left in the sun. I bet he doesn't even bleed if you stab him, he just keeps coming without even flinching.

I do that all the time I do. My apologies.

Heaven forfend you should be mistaken for a prole like me MR AMUSED FACE

Aren't you two brothers then?

Alan Sugar probably knows people who could have you killed, so doesn't need to fight.

Probably. But I bet he does it himself, just for the sheer joy of it.

No, but when I was in Vat Of Fat the guitarist was called Ian Grimm. Hilarious.

Ah, so thats why I do it.

I think your avatar, or sig, should be a picture of *my* corner unit sofa:

Awwww, what's up, CUS?

I don't think you are mean or horrible, but you have seemed quite stressed, and maybe when you make just short posts people mistake you for being snappy. I've done that before, when I am in a hurry - I am leaving through the door and post a few words and come back and find out that people think I have been mean.

Would you like Monkey and I to find you a cute avatar? Do you secretly think that people with cute animal avatars use them as a shield for being really nasty beneath it all? i do not understand but I hope you are feeling more chipper soon x

Also, I don't think that anyone at all dislikes you Grim... Especially not for being perceived as richer than most here. I have no monkey, but I don't dislike people that do, and I don't think anyone here is so shallow to do so either - I think you may be taking people's jesting too seriously.

Bwahahahaha!

And I don't take it seriously (although sometimes I wish I was as rich as people thought I was).

I dislike people who have a monkey and keep it in a really small cage all the time. It's just cruel!

I currently have no particular dislike for any of you.

Except you. Yes, you. You know who you are, you bastard.

don't worry about it CUS, you're a cunt dear to my heart.

I thought it was just a little jesting too, but when you ae stressed and down it is easy to take it to heart even if it's not meant that way.

I think everybody here knows that you have put yourself out for them, even if we aren't aware of the extent, and nobody expects anything from you, you have been, shall we say..brill?

I hope you start to feel better soon, I know how it feels to so busy with other peoples stuff and work and so forth that you can't see the wood for the trees and sort yourself out. It is, as they say, poo.

*group hug*

I made that same typo in a letter to the bank once (actually, twice, in the same letter), and they highlighted it and sent it back with their reply.

I hate all of you, so much.

Oh shut up you big softie, and attention whoring cunt.

That is not true. I do feel like I know you well after you several thousand posts on WoS. I thought it was the Ramraider thing that kicked everything off big time. I never believed it.

*edit for spelling I could'nt spell attenetion properly.*

Who gave you permission to speak? Git.

Anyway, here's a gimmicky animal avatar for you - a goggly-eyed stoat with a nosebleed. It's how I've always imagined you.

You were in Vat of Fat? What a small world.

I was. I can never quite decide if we were great or shit.

I quite liked it. I recorded some stuff in your old bedroom, you know.

[waves frantically]

Blimey. Tiny, tiny world. Which band were it?

Llamatron. Ian played keyboards. We only recorded one song but it was 22 mins long!

Oh, O Discordia? I'm pretty sure I still have an mp3 of that somewhere!

I'm now convinced that everyone who posts on WoS/WoB/BETEO are actually all know it each other.

It's something like Lost I suspect.

Hey dudes, shall we start a new thread of Metal/Grind/Whatever else bands, we know. This is CUS' topic. I know Gutworm and Gorerotted BTW.

Hi Lave, don't worry, I don't know anyone.

It's actually worse than that - they're all the same person. Each personality has their own login.

I toured with Gutworm. Lovely chaps. There is a metal thread, somewhere.

And CUS knows I love him.

They are a lovely bunch of chaps aren't they. Sorry it just seemed like it was going off topic. Who were you with? (grimm). To the metal thread!!!

There already is one. It's right near the top of the first page, and calls out all you 'Dirty Moshers', I believe.

Actually, is there any chance of a Supamod changing that? It annoys me a bit. I need to say 'actually' less.

OMG, Vat of Fat was my nickname at school!!!

*reads* Animal avatars was just an example, I'm not having a go, honest, honest miss, honest. *literally hangs self to death*