Bits and Bobs 29-The Copper Edition

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:06

Or you could eBay it and keep the money.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:09

I'm getting increasingly tempted to buy a Macbook Air and install Windows on it. I have no idea why.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12334

Work is not as bad as I was expecting. I don't know why I got the feeling of doom.

Maybe it's because nobody has actually asked me to do anything yet, so I'm happy with my own devices.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:13

GazChap wrote:

I'm getting increasingly tempted to buy a Macbook Air and install Windows on it. I have no idea why.

Because you're a girl with JC tendencies?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:18

Clouds are looking somewhat ominous. Someone here has 6 tickets to the Olympic men's semi final table tennis. Another has 100m sprint final

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

MaliA wrote:

Clouds are looking somewhat ominous. Someone here has 6 tickets to the Olympic men's semi final table tennis. Another has 100m sprint final

Are you waiting for someone to cross your palm with silver?

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

MaliA wrote:

Clouds are looking somewhat ominous. Someone here has 6 tickets to the Olympic men's semi final table tennis. Another has 100m sprint final

Don't worry, I think those clouds will have passed over by the time the Olympics start...

Decca · **Joined:** 23rd Jun, 2010 **Posts:** 2282

Right then friend who invited the Girl and not the Boy to a bowling birthday party knowing full well that I can't drive so will have to come along with both of them anyway and hang around with him for 2 hours, I hope your child really enjoys the sing along cd player with microphone I've bought her....

flis · **Joined:** 26th May, 2008 **Posts:** 3333

Decca wrote:

Right then friend who invited the Girl and not the Boy to a bowling birthday party knowing full well that I can't drive so will have to come along with both of them anyway and hang around with him for 2 hours, I hope your child really enjoys the sing along cd player with microphone I've bought her....

So you expect someone to invite your other child to their party for your convenience? And as this hasn't happened, you bought them the most annoying gift you could?

Seeing as other people will be driving to the bowling alley, could you not just ask one of them to take the Girl with them to the party....?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:08

Warhead wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Clouds are looking somewhat ominous. Someone here has 6 tickets to the Olympic men's semi final table tennis. Another has 100m sprint final

Are you waiting for someone to cross your palm with silver?

It'd be nice. MrsA took all my cash this morning.

Decca · **Joined:** 23rd Jun, 2010 **Posts:** 2282

flis wrote:

Decca wrote:

Right then friend who invited the Girl and not the Boy to a bowling birthday party knowing full well that I can't drive so will have to come along with both of them anyway and hang around with him for 2 hours, I hope your child really enjoys the sing along cd player with microphone I've bought her....

So you expect someone to invite your other child to their party for your convenience? And as this hasn't happened, you bought them the most annoying gift you could?

Seeing as other people will be driving to the bowling alley, could you not just ask one of them to take the Girl with them to the party....?

A (not mentioned). I invited her child to his birthday party.
B. She knows I will have to come along with him anyway (no offers of a lift from other friends) and this is a way of saving herself some money, trust me this is why she did it.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Get better friends.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:24

Don't go.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

Chill out a bit and don't take everything so personally?

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:36

devilman wrote:

Got to love pointless office moves...

Quote:

Priority: URGENT
We need to swap Credit Control with Customer Care.

They sit about eight feet apart. I never understand this kinda thing, particularly the urgency.

Turns out it's due to the air conditioning. The same air conditioning that we've had for a few years now. Some people have a funny idea as what constitutes 'Urgent'

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

devilman wrote:

Got to love pointless office moves...

Quote:

Priority: URGENT
We need to swap Credit Control with Customer Care.

They sit about eight feet apart. I never understand this kinda thing, particularly the urgency.

Turns out it's due to the air conditioning. The same air conditioning that we've had for a few years now. Some people have a funny idea as what constitutes 'Urgent'

Maybe they have been wanting to move for years, but no bugger in facilities has taken any notice.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

As an aside, I can't remember the last time I actually had a desk of my own. Have laptop, will travel.
I kinda miss it, but my desks used to be covered in crap that built up over the years. I still do the same, but it's usually only a couple of weeks crap at a time these days.

I find it mildly amusing how protective people can be over their "space" in an open plan communal office. God forbid you ever sit in someones chair and change the height!

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

Grim... wrote:

Or you could eBay it and keep the money.

Where's the fun in that?

Trooper wrote:

I find it mildly amusing how protective people can be over their "space" in an open plan communal office. God forbid you ever sit in someones chair and change the height!

Sometimes I think these people might have the right idea. My lack of preciousness over my office chair always tends to result in me getting lumbered with the crappest one.

I just wish I could find a means of convincing my boss to let me work in the programmers office. Much nicer chairs in there
and much more attractive ladies in the adjacent offices.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Trooper wrote:

I find it mildly amusing how protective people can be over their "space" in an open plan communal office. God forbid you ever sit in someones chair and change the height!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:09

Was it Dimrill?

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

I very kindly offered to make a cup of tea for a member of staff today who is not normally in the tea-round clique I'm part of at work. Upon asking her how she liked it, I was told she didn't have milk or sugar, and that I was to instead take one of her lemons out of the fridge, cut a slice off and place that in her tea.

What I would like to know is: if she ever asks me to make her a cuppa again with such demands attached, am I within my rights to tell her to 'get fucked' without fear of disciplinary proceedings?

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

Is cutting her a slice of lemon really that much of an arse?

I'm not a big fan of tea or coffee, so stay out of the whole tea round business where possible

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

Trooper wrote:

Is cutting her a slice of lemon really that much of an arse?

I'm not a big fan of tea or coffee, so stay out of the whole tea round business where possible

Tea making is something I do when my brain does not wish to engage in such activities as 'work'. Cutting slices of lemon is slightly further in the direction of 'work' than pouring milk as far as my brain is concerned.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:17

Is she fit?

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:22

Zio wrote:

Sometimes I think these people might have the right idea. My lack of preciousness over my office chair always tends to result in me getting lumbered with the crappest one.

My chair is uncomfortable to sit on for long periods and one of the arms broke off some time ago.

Trooper wrote:

Maybe they have been wanting to move for years, but no bugger in facilities has taken any notice.

Unfortunately, 'Facilities' = 'IT'. We get roped into doing most moves, even if there's virtually no IT equipment involved.

Zio · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6093

Zardoz wrote:

Is she fit?

That would be a firm "no".

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

devilman wrote:

Trooper wrote:

Maybe they have been wanting to move for years, but no bugger in facilities has taken any notice.

Unfortunately, 'Facilities' = 'IT'. We get roped into doing most moves, even if there's virtually no IT equipment involved.

Ok.

Maybe they have been wanting to move for years, but no bugger in IT has taken any notice.

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

devilman wrote:

Zio wrote:

Sometimes I think these people might have the right idea. My lack of preciousness over my office chair always tends to result in me getting lumbered with the crappest one.

My chair is uncomfortable to sit on for long periods and one of the arms broke off some time ago.

Not wanting a broken chair is reasonable.
Not wanting anyone to sit on your chair because they might fiddle with a setting? Give over, chair hitlers!

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

devilman wrote:

Got to love pointless office moves...

Quote:

Priority: URGENT
We need to swap Credit Control with Customer Care.

They sit about eight feet apart. I never understand this kinda thing, particularly the urgency.

Turns out it's due to the air conditioning. The same air conditioning that we've had for a few years now. Some people have a funny idea as what constitutes 'Urgent'

How do customer care feel about being stiffed with the shit aircon?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:34

Zio wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

Is she fit?

That would be a firm "no".

No lemon.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:51

Zio wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Or you could eBay it and keep the money.

Where's the fun in that?

I AM CAPTAIN SENSI-BELL

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:51

Craster wrote:

devilman wrote:

Got to love pointless office moves...

Quote:

Priority: URGENT
We need to swap Credit Control with Customer Care.

They sit about eight feet apart. I never understand this kinda thing, particularly the urgency.

Turns out it's due to the air conditioning. The same air conditioning that we've had for a few years now. Some people have a funny idea as what constitutes 'Urgent'

How do customer care feel about being stiffed with the shit aircon?

It won't be because it's shit.. it'll be because a few have moaned about it blowing too much on them. So we'll swap them round till someone else moans...

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

Dear Sinister New Zealand Based Butter Company,

I was disgusted to open a pack of your butter to find the depiction of a penis. Please see the attached.

Attachment:

butter.JPG

I didn't buy a pack of butter to be exposed to a picture of a penis. Please sort it out.

Love Chinny.

devilman · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 13:04

Looks like Word² has been tarted up a bit since I last used it. Should keep me occupied on lunch breaks anyway.

Malabelm · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 13:14

Zio wrote:

I very kindly offered to make a cup of tea for a member of staff today who is not normally in the tea-round clique I'm part of at work. Upon asking her how she liked it, I was told she didn't have milk or sugar, and that I was to instead take one of her lemons out of the fridge, cut a slice off and place that in her tea.

What I would like to know is: if she ever asks me to make her a cuppa again with such demands attached, am I within my rights to tell her to 'get fucked' without fear of disciplinary proceedings?

What the hell? She accepted your offer of a drink, didn't bother telling you of her very specific requirements, then lambasted you for it? Next time, shit in the bloody cup.

Joans · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 8655

Malabelm wrote:

Zio wrote:

I very kindly offered to make a cup of tea for a member of staff today who is not normally in the tea-round clique I'm part of at work. Upon asking her how she liked it, I was told she didn't have milk or sugar, and that I was to instead take one of her lemons out of the fridge, cut a slice off and place that in her tea.

What I would like to know is: if she ever asks me to make her a cuppa again with such demands attached, am I within my rights to tell her to 'get fucked' without fear of disciplinary proceedings?

What the hell? She accepted your offer of a drink, didn't bother telling you of her very specific requirements, then lambasted you for it? Next time, shit in the bloody cup.

I'm guessing he asked her how she likes it before making it.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 13:16

Malabelm wrote:

Zio wrote:

I very kindly offered to make a cup of tea for a member of staff today who is not normally in the tea-round clique I'm part of at work. Upon asking her how she liked it, I was told she didn't have milk or sugar, and that I was to instead take one of her lemons out of the fridge, cut a slice off and place that in her tea.

What I would like to know is: if she ever asks me to make her a cuppa again with such demands attached, am I within my rights to tell her to 'get fucked' without fear of disciplinary proceedings?

What the hell? She accepted your offer of a drink, didn't bother telling you of her very specific requirements, then lambasted you for it? Next time, shit in the bloody cup.

No Malabelm, she did tell him.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 13:17

Joans wrote:

Malabelm wrote:

Zio wrote:

I very kindly offered to make a cup of tea for a member of staff today who is not normally in the tea-round clique I'm part of at work. Upon asking her how she liked it, I was told she didn't have milk or sugar, and that I was to instead take one of her lemons out of the fridge, cut a slice off and place that in her tea.

What I would like to know is: if she ever asks me to make her a cuppa again with such demands attached, am I within my rights to tell her to 'get fucked' without fear of disciplinary proceedings?

What the hell? She accepted your offer of a drink, didn't bother telling you of her very specific requirements, then lambasted you for it? Next time, shit in the bloody cup.

I'm guessing he asked her how she likes it before making it.

"How do you like your tea?"
"In the bedroom"

Malabelm · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 13:18

Oh, hang on, I totally misread that, didn't I. Long day.

Shit in her cup anyway.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12334

Malabelm wrote:

Oh, hang on, I totally misread that, didn't I. Long day.

Shit in her cup anyway.

And then put it in her bedroom while you're having a wank.

BikNorton · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 10173

Best B&B ever. My hangover is most amused.

SinisterNZButterCo. · **Joined:** 23rd Jun, 2011 **Posts:** 6

chinnyhill10 wrote:

Dear Sinister New Zealand Based Butter Company,

I was disgusted to open a pack of your butter to find the depiction of a penis. Please see the attached.

Attachment:

butter.JPG

I didn't buy a pack of butter to be exposed to a picture of a penis. Please sort it out.

Love Chinny.

Dear Mr Chinyhill,

We apologise profusely for the smut you have been subjected to on the inside of the butter wrapper, this is a disgusting example of how a sick perverted employee can affect our customers, i would like to suggest at this point that the butter that was inside the filthy wrapper should be disposed of quickly as it may be contaminated by 'man juice' from the employee, as was the case in other instances that have been reported.

If you could please look on the wrapper and see if it has been signed by the culprit (previous wrappers have been signed with WTB, which we are still currently looking into who the perverted individual could be)

Please accept this cake with our deepest appologies

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Yours Sincerely

Miss Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

Warhead · Noob as of 6/8/10

Is it de rigueur to award bananas on a first post?

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

SinisterNZButterCo. wrote:

Miss Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

985 Bananas

SinisterNZButterCo. · **Joined:** 23rd Jun, 2011 **Posts:** 6

Hello Butter lovers,

I thought i would take this opportunity to let you know of a few great ways to make more use out of your butter, its not just for eating and lubing!

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!

Keep mold off cheese
Why waste good cheese by letting the cut edges get hard or moldy? Give semi-hard cheeses a light coat of butter to keep them fresh and free of mold. Each time you use the cheese, coat the cut edge with butter before you rewrap it and put it back in the fridge.

Make cat feel at home
Is the family feline freaked out by your move to a new home? Moving is often traumatic for pets as well as family members. Here's a good way to help an adult cat adjust to the new house or apartment: Spread a little butter on the top of one of its front paws. Cats love the taste of butter so much they'll keep coming back for more.

Get rid of fishy smell
Zardoz smelling abit ripe again? What to do? Just rub some butter on your hands, wash with warm water and soap, and your hands will smell clean and fresh again.

Swallow pills with ease
If you have difficulty getting pills to go down, try rolling them in a small amount of butter. The pills will slide down your throat more easily. The lubrication factor of butter can be used in many other ways, just let your imagination run wild!

Soothe aching feet
To soothe tired feet, massage them with butter, wrap in a damp, hot towel, and sit for 10 minutes. Your feet will feel revitalized, not to mention soft! Especially if you have a cat!

Remove sap from skin
You've just gotten home from a pleasant walk in the woods, but your hand is still covered with sticky man juice tree sap that feels like it will never come off. Don't worry. Just rub butter on your hand and the gunky black sap will wash right off with soap and water.

Keep leftover onion fresh
The recipe calls for half an onion and you want to keep the remaining half fresh as long as possible. Rub butter on the cut surface and wrap the leftover onion in aluminum foil before putting it in the fridge. The butter will keep it fresh longer.

Zap ink stain on doll's face
It always happens. Try rubbing butter on it and leaving the doll face-up in the sun for a few days. Wash it off with soap and water. Works for all types of dolls be they inflatable or not.

Treat dry hair
Is your ladies hair dry and brittle? Try buttering it up for a luxuriant shine. Massage a small chunk of butter into her dry hair, cover it with a shower cap for 30 minutes, then shampoo and rinse thoroughly. Far cheaper than buying expensive specialist hair products like conditioners!

Cut sticky foods with ease
Rub butter on your knife or scissor blades before cutting sticky foods like dates, figs, or marshmallows. The butter will act as a lubricant and keep the food from sticking to the blades, it will also make the food taste at least ten times better

Emergency shave cream
If you run out of shaving cream, try slathering some butter onto your wet skin for a smooth, close shave. Your partner will find you mmmmmmmm tasty

Remember folks pretty much anything can successfully be substituted by butter, so buy more butter and have a happier life

*all claims are totally un-founded and butter will make your cat fat and angry!

Yours Sincerely

Miss Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

SinisterNZButterCo. wrote:

Hello Butter lovers,

Please stand in our next mod elections.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 15:42

Ghee whiz.

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jun 23, 2011 15:42

Zardoz wrote:

Zio wrote:

Zardoz wrote:

Is she fit?

That would be a firm "no".

No lemon.

Or melons?

Trooper · **Joined:** 4th Mar, 2010 **Posts:** 22391

Zardoz wrote:

Ghee whiz.

I hope that post is the last of the butter jokes and we don't just churn out a load of them.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

As long as I'm not the butter the jokes, I'm happy for them to continue.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 29-The Copper Edition
It's Electric!

Who is online

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bits and Bobs 29-The Copper Edition It's Electric!

Who is online

Bits and Bobs 29-The Copper Edition
It's Electric!