Be Excellent To Each Other

Mr Chris is serious business.

£266 TPFT for an MX5 for me (the 306 is the same, a 355 is c£600). Haven't added mrsA into the equation yet, I suspect it will go up some. Just remembered that I spoke to some guy that works for an insurance company and he said he'd possibly be able to relieve me of the motorbikes for cash or something else. I might look into this.

Unless she's a teenage boy or has recently crashed into something, adding Mrs A should bring the price down.

For some reason, mx5s are quite expensive to insure for women, I have found. It was £100 to add mrs t to the abarth, yet about £300 more for the mx5 iirc. When I could find a place that was willing to insure her for less than 2 grand in the first place!

They are group 23-31 cars, mind you.

I have a clean licence, she doesn't.

Subaru demo lap at this year's TT (last night, in fact) - British Rally Champion Mark Higgins in the new Impreza WRX STi.

Watch someone absolutely shitting their pants at 150mph, a crash would not have been pleasant.....

(50 seconds in if you want to skip.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jSYiU-J ... dded#at=62

Didn't on average 113mph around the TT course last week or something?

Yeah they've had some really quick laps in the cars this year, (there are no actual car races, just 'demo' laps), but they're still some way off the bikes. (The fastest average bike lap is 132mph (!)).

I'm looking forward to this weekend, the bikers start to go home en masse, but the mountain section of the course stays one way until Monday morning, so I'll be up there for a couple of blasts before it's back to normal

On Mad Sunday this year the mountain road was only open for about an hour all day, due to the sheer number of RTAs up there and the clean-ups they had to do. I've steered well clear of the mountain this year during 'peak' hours.

I don't any other kind of motorsports driver could have held that.

Yeah it almost seems to defy the laws of physics, truly awesome driving.

Here's a biker faring not so well at the same place a few years ago..... (Amazingly the guy walked away with just a broken arm and some serious cuts and bruises.)

I shouldn't laugh at that, but the way that he wobbles before crashing is hilarious for some reason.

It reminds me of the second fall in this: Catwalk model falls over (twice)

Is there any particular reason you were searching youtube for 'fallen models'?

Yeah it's what's known as a 'tankslapper' - unfortunately once they get past a certain point, physics and momentum take over and it's just a matter of time before you're inelegantly dismounted.

Is there any particular reason you're not searching YouTube for 'fallen models'?

I'm busy writing my book.

Fucking hell, that's awful.

Time to add a steering damper methinks, poor bastard. My old mate's 'slab-sider' GSX-1100R was notorious for 'slappers. I hated the fucking thing - widowmaker - and only ever rode it like an absolute tart.

The local police are apparently investigating this, although AFAIK there's no law against riding your bike over the mountain road at 130mph if you want to.

Even if you are naked...... (Albeit wearing a helmet.)

Going by the light I'd say they did this around 5am. Dread to think of the mess if he'd had an off

Mummy Afterthought is getting a new Fiesta on 1st August through motability. It's an automatic petrol, but not the Zetec, as that costs £200. "the seats are funny and the radio controls are high up" is her review of it, along with "it has lights for parking".

It's the Canary Wharf Motor Expo this week. There's a wee electric Hummer which I suspect is the coolest thing ever.

Extreme Reflectoporn.

I've been in one of them after a bump and, as you said, if you don't get control (and it's notoriously difficult to do so) it just spirals out of control and once your back end starts fishtailing it's only a matter of time before you're either going to slide or get completely chucked off.

Also, it's really bizarre how little time it takes from start to finish, but it seems like an eternity when it's happening to you, albeit with your only reaction being ‘Shit. Shit. SHIT.’

Odd, I thought I was alone when I stuffed the M3 into the M62's central reservation.

And an F1 simulator. Jealous.

Would one of those be able to accommodate a man of your, erm, social standing?

No

Yeah, it would. It's not an actual car, it's loads of big bucket seats with three monitors each.

That's not the sort of fucking F1 simulator I thought it was

The model fall video should have been this one, for the presenter laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBT4-EXqddo

"X-TREME" Zio!



More about X-TREME Zio! later.

X-TREME Zio! picks an interesting spot to attempt his very first recovery...

Turns out the Twingo really does much prefer super unleaded. Fucksake.

HOW FUCKING MUCH TO INSURE A 2006 FORD KA? HOW FUCKING MUCH? Deffo getting a quote for an Mx5, possibly the one in the garage on Buckingham Road. I could swap the Ka for it, and have somes cash, and everyone's a winner. Except MrsA.

I don't know, how much?

£305 fully comp with a £500 excess. I bring the insurance down by about £140 by being a named driver. Bizarrely, two compassion websites give wildly different prices for the same info.

I just like moaning about insurance.

Jesus fuck - does Mrs A mow people down for fun?

Haha! I was on the phone trying to wish Zioette's mum a happy birthday without looking like a massive girl. It was a very manly day by my standards.

Seriously fucking awesome day out though, cheers Grim...!

Fucking sick of my Tom Tom Go 530. It never really held much charge and after a year or so the internal batteries died. It was like it was draining the batteries even when off.

So I purchased some new batteries, arsed around installing them, and yes there was an improvement.

A few weeks back it was fine, but suddenly again, it can't hold any charge and shuts down in seconds. This would be a minor inconvenience except the last time this happened the screen would dim and the unit would go mad if it had to process a lot of information and play a loud noise at the same time. Presumably some kind of power issue when the battery was gone.

Also I've hated the windscreen holder from day 1. 1 time in 10 it sticks properly, the rest of the time it falls of within a few minutes. Really bad design, the old Go's holder was fine as was the replacement.

So I'm sick of it. May it burn in silicon hell. I've just ordered a new Tom Tom 1000 with the built in SIM card for traffic (first year sub free, 50 quid a year after that). On the downside the sub is expensive, on the upside I can remove the RDS TMC aerial from my front window.

The only quandary is to order a screen protector or not. I'm not sure given the shelf life of these things if the built in screen would need it. I usually have one and yes the protector is scratched after 2 years use, but its probably the case the screen is tougher than the protector is!

Meanwhile my 6 year year old Tom Tom 100 (or whatever its called) is still going strong and is in use by Mrs Chinny. Original battery and it goes for hours between charges. They don't make them like that anymore!

Permanent marker on the tank telling you where to go. Works brilliantly unless you have to do more than 130 miles.

It clearly isn't for profit.

Let's talk about X-TREME Zio!.
First, he drives his Honda past the man at the gate in his Discovery who wants to hand him a form to sign saying if X-TREME Zio! kills himself then it's not the man's fault. I imagine that X-TREME Zio! said something like "fuck you, old man, I spy a Tomcat" to himself as he did so. I also suspect this is going to be news to him.

In we leap, and X-TREME Zio! decides that rally driving is more fun than off-roading, so we hurtle across a dirt bridge at the bottom of at muddy hill a something ridiculous like 20mph*. Shortly afterwards we hit a rut and nearly fall out of the car. X-TREME Zio! slows down

Pretty much within two minutes of him getting into the car, I direct X-TREME Zio! into a swamp with a five-foot vertical exit that I swear didn't exist when I went to the site two weeks ago. The Tomcat, being made by some of the finest engineering hands in the country (ie. mine), doesn't have any problems with the vertical exit at all. Mainly because it doesn't get near it. Deep swamp is deep. I think X-TREME Zio! has a photo.

X-TREME Zio! struggles to turn the winch cut-out switch on. In the end I have to climb back into the swamp, reach across the Tomcat and do it for him. It felt good. I hope he thought so to.

X-TREME Zio! does a (reverse) drive-assisted winch recovery, the first of my Beex off-roading chums to do so. Cheevo!

X-TREME Zio! drops down one hell of a bank into a river, and wades across it, giggling like a loon. Cheevo!

X-TREME Zio! fails a really, really easy hill climb, but still manages to takes us back to the bottom sideways. We approach the hill again with me telling him to show the fucking hill who the boss is, but the ruts decide that actually X-TREME Zio! isn't even driving toward it this time. Much laughter.

We storm across the field to another part of the site, and X-TREME Zio! doesn't see a rather large hole. We get air. Cheevo!

It's not X-TREME enough to just drive across dirt bridges fast. X-TREME Zio! gets a bit out of shape on the approach, and we go over it sideways.

Faced with a fairly easy drop into a big hole to get out of a "section" of the site, if you like, X-TREME Zio! clearly decides that can get to fuck and throws the car off the edge of a bank, turning into a 30-40degree lean. I brace for impact for the first time that day**. Cheevo. But it all comes naturally to X-TREME Zio!, and we don't end up on the roof. Cheevo.

X-TREME Zio! recovers a really stuck 110 in the middle of a pond (video on the previous page). Cheevo!

The Tomcat decides it's going to show X-TREME Zio! who is the boss, and, for no reason that X-TREME Zio! or I can see, suddenly powerslid about 120degrees as we were driving across a field. Much laughter.

Home time. Much fun!

*People that have been off-roading before will understand why 20mph is "hurtling".
**As most others will tell you, normally I just sit in my passenger seat and laugh at people, or chastise them for not driving through the hardest bit possible - normally while holding a camcorder or smoking or both. I rarely worry about anything, but I really did think we were going over that time.

So, who's next?

"Zio - 20x faster than MaliA".

What up - when, where?

I can even bring the restored Wildcat to compete. Its ground clearance is less than 60mm though, so the Tomcat may win.

Not until after August at the earliest, and at one of two places:



I know that's quite a trek for you, buddy. I'd bring it to Dundry (near Keynsham) again, but it's just too far to travel.

You are, of course, welcome to come up on the Saturday and stay at Grim... acres.

MK's not too bad for a day trip. Plus I get to do a Marilyn Manson impression and go MILTON KEEEEEEYNES! when I get there. I've also met one of the chaps who designed the town, and I'd like to piss on it.

We'll see if we can't sort something out.
If you can manage the extra ten miles, Luton's better than MK.

ten miles? That's nothing to a mighty Puma driving road champion.

Waves

You designed Milton Keynes?