Be Excellent To Each Other

S'up, Jazzy?
I ordered you some wine at 10:09 this morning - it's probably warm now.

Like she cares.

Thanks for the tenner, Joans. Hope you like the prints.

It's probably fared better than Gilly's Guiness.

They have pride of place in my function room.

Indeed! In all the books i've read about the mafia, there is usually at least one bar as a front, then they need an accountant behind the scenes... and there is usually a dodgy bookie around somewhere... don't you think?

I drink red at room temperature anyway.

So, was it you who discovered the body?

*sips wine through straw*

Absolutely! I'm glad I'm not one of those. Mostly I deal in castrating dogs, spaying cats, and occasionally seeing Farmer Malc about the health of his sheep.

I work to live, y'see, and we all have a hobby on the side.

What are you trying to say about Joans !

(Your the only person I see resembling an accountant and no-one seems to have been offering odds on what happens next)

Nope. Now that you mention it, I don't know who it was.

I'm fairly sure it's just some kids playing pranks - they've got nothing better to do.

That's a doozy of a prank!

Another one with poor literacy skills I see, I probably have some books around here that will help with your reading comprehension.

I thought you were a school teacher, shouldn't they be in school, and there is a fair for them to go to.

Speaking of school, it's that time of day again...

I'll leave the shop unlocked, help yourself to what you need and leave the money for it in the 'Honesty Dish' on the counter, back in an hour.

Reading comprehension has nothing to do with grammar.

It's half term. Why else would I be in the bar?

So where are you really off to, hmm?

It's half term for you, but I have to work, cleaning up poo because the headmaster's a jerk.
I'm the school cleaner, save me a drink, if he gets any meaner I'll kick up a stink.

GJ got the CDs in that you ordered, The Smiths wasn't it? Why anyone would want a copy of every CD released that has Meat is Murder on is a mystery to me.

That will be £246 please.

Er, that was last week, just how drunk are you?

Cheers! Got ant Cannibal Corpse?

Poor Mayor Kalmar.

I didn't say it did. You really are quite drunk, aren't you?

Oh dear.

[vote: trooper]

Oi ! , I resemble some remark thingy.

b**ger it : [vote: trooper]

You've already done that you know, or maybe you don't know? Drunk or crazy?

Hey, i was having a look at the big Vote thingy in the middle of town, still looks like a jukebox to me, anyhow it pressed the big blue button and this came out



that's kinda nifty isn't it. How come only half of the town have shown up so far anyhow, it's a bit strange, are they all hiding?

Maybe they think it's half term too

or are they all in school waiting for the teacher?

Can't go in now, I'm drunk.

Maybe some people aren't quite so obsessive about knowing where other people are 24x7.

I didn't think that usually stopped you.

Back now. I have some lovely veggie sausages in if anyone is struggling to think of something for tea.

Do you have any cucumber sandwiches?

Or if anyone would like some meat ones let me know and I'll re-open up the butchers for a few minutes - Unlike Grim... I will go into work drunk - just not going near anything sharp so nothing that needs more than parceled up >hic!<

In all honesty, the mayor has been killed. I'd be amazed if people weren't making noises about where they had been.

I'm going to [vote:davpaz], if only because Cucumber sandwiches with nothing else in are mighty odd and suspicious, and also cucumber gives me terrible indigestion.

Cucumber sandwiches are standard fare in my profession, you whippersnapper. You will be in my prayers tonight.

I have some cucumbers *points over to the veg section* but you'll have to make them into sandwiches yourself I'm sorry.

Obsessive? you hurt me, it is only because i care. Nay! My heart throbs to know. So that begs the question, where have you been hiding? I have the new Bon Jovi album in if your interested, Slippery When Wet.




Didn't stop him when he taught my younger brother, 'drunken feck' was how little Jimmy referred to him most of the time if i remember correctly, terrible terrible shame about Jimmy, that freak CDT accident at the school...

they aren't from Spain are they? I heard over the radio that Spanish Cucumbers have German Measles or some such lurgy.

I organically grow all of my own veg.

Gentlemen, this is all very interesting, but shouldn't someone do something about the mayor? Have the police even turned up yet?

Let me go see if there is a book that will help...

Is there a reason why you only sell phallic produce?

I don't recall seeing your face around here before, who are you exactly?

Yes, we need to get this sorted, if there are killers in our midst we need to out them! I, for one, will sleep far more soundly tonight knowing that the perpetrator of this horrendous crime is no longer among us!

I do your washing, and that of all the other reprobates in this town. And don't think I've not seen the man-sized pink frillies that come in with your load.

How dare you bring up my washing in public! I'm a respectable woman!

Get Trooper a Bacardi Breezer would you, Joans? Also, my Stella glass has far too much air in it.

Maybe a sweet sherry, just to steady my nerves, you understand...

Shots! Excellent idea.