Be Excellent To Each Other

What's the correct way to say "actually, I think a £3k pay rise is a bit of a joke" to your line manager (who, unfortunately, is also the CEO, so there's no-one to fight on your behalf)?



But "decline" seems like the wrong word.

HELP, BEEXERS

Reject? Yeah, it needs to be tactful though..

That's better, but is it the sort of thing I actually can reject?

take

Not especially - he knows I'm - shall we say - "not happy".

FTFY.

I might. I think I'm going to offer to accept it, on the provision I can have Wednesday mornings off and work from home on Monday afternoons.

Can't you put something like-


I don't feel I can accept the offer....

Ooh, better!

"can" is a bit strong though - "should" is better.

I'd say that the current offer didn't match my expectations and want to talk about it further. I wouldn't say either way whether you are accepting or declining.

"I do not believe the offer reflects the increased value I am bringing to the organisation..."

Tempted to put "If you'd like a list of my reasons, you'll have to give me a little extra time and a lot of extra paper." at the end.

Brilliant!

‘I would describe the current proposed pay rise as “Fuck no!”’

When you speak to him, wear this mask:

http://www.buyfromhome.co.uk/store/product/23552/Alan-Sugar-Mask/

I guarantee success.

Right, I've got:

That seems a yay to me...

BROUGHT FFS!!!!

It sounds very Grim...
Approved.
Although I'm not sure you actually need to think about it over the weekend, you're more giving him time to think about it

Heh, bought.

Fuck me! Edited

[edit] @ Myp
[edit][edit] And Kalmar

Sent!

You probably don't want my advice but that sounds terrible to me. The first sentence sounds a bit up your own arse, regardless of whether you've brought value or not. Then going on to say you're giving it some more thought over the weekend implies you might change your mind on Monday, and then saying 'I'll list my reasons if you want' sounds snooty.

imho, it's a bad combo.

Dear CEO,

I would like to thank you for your recent offer of a pay increase to {figure}. Unfortunately I am not inclined to accept this offer as I do not believe it fully takes into account the proportional value of my work here over the last 12 months.

I would be happy to have further discussion early next week.

Best,

Grim...

Short, sweet, unambiguous.

Edit: Too late.... oh, nevermind then.

Will we get commission?

Too late!

"No probs, I will be in lunchtime tomorrow or Friday so lets talk then.

It might help if you let me know what you feel is appropriate which might save us some time."

Oh noes!

"Double it"

Still not enough.

£3,012.

Start at 10%, settle on 5%...

Totally agree - and it would sound even more odd coming from me. However, that is the sort of talk CEO likes.
However...

That sounds even more pompous, IMO. So he'd have probably liked it more, but never mind.

"and then double it again"

Isn't 5% below inflation?

Much better.

And now your payrise is more than what LewieP *earns*. I hope you feel suitably guilty.

Possibly as of a few months ago.

Edit: Oh wait, no, you're right, £10-£12k is my projected earning for this year.

I also don't really work very hard.

I reckon the best argument to make is 'My work here has directly increased revenue/profit/blah by x%, so an x% payrise is fair'.

So, if you used to get paid 30k when they made a profit of a million, you'd expect £45k if they now made a profile of 1.5 million. Or something.

Depends which inflation figures you use. Inflation is currently running at 4% month on month I think, but over the past year will be slightly lower.

Irregardless of that, the current climate makes that a more difficult conversation than it ever was before, not that that should stop you having that conversation
I think the days of inflation wage increases actually being close to what inflation really is, are long gone for now.

Not now that Dow Jones up the road have opened the PHP Dev floodgates.

According to my recruitment chap, requested wages have jumped up around 6% over the past week because of that.

Fuck me, how the other half live, eh?

There is always somewhere that pays more, and most people would see that for an empty threat. If someone is willing to leave purely for the money, then they were always going to leave anyway IME!

I would stick entirely with the value you have added to the company argument, rather than comparing with elsewhere, unless you are paid under the industry average, then fall back on the inflation rate plus a bit argument.

Is that you in that avatar pic? You have exuberant hippy type hair and beard in my head

The joys of the London based software development industry! Wages fall just as quickly as they rise though...

If you don't want a 3k pay rise, give it to me! I've had an effective pay cut two years in a row. (sorry 'pay freeze')

Pay rises are due at my place this month, I'm expecting 3% maximum, which will be mildly annoying, but not annoying enough for me to leave

I got one this month.. which was awesome..

Ah, sorry man, yep.

Yeah, I'm aware of the whole "ungrateful fuck" angle. I ummed and ahhed over putting the amount up, but in the end I figured it didn't really hurt.
If it's any consolation, I'm still fucking poor.

So why not just ask for and offer wages that are roughly in the middle somewhere and save a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth? Life's complicated enough already. Agencies call me now, ask if I want to do such and such a job. I say yes, they ask how much money I'm looking for. As much as you've budgeted for, you slimy cunts. Just tell me what the fucking salary is and I'll say whether I want it or not.

This is the same sort of passive aggressive nastiness you get in job adverts where they tell you for a part-time role how much they'd be paying you in a full time role (pro rata) which is great if, as a matter of pride, you want to be able to compare your income with someone else. There's also a function inasmuch as you can see whether they pay competitively. But any advert where they are telling you how much you won't be earning before they tell you how much you will is imbecilic. Christ knows why this is the standard. TELL ME HOW MUCH I WOULD EARN AND I MIGHT APPLY.

Next step will be employees employing agents like some fucking footballer to do all this haggling for them. Mercifully it will be a short lived trend as it's impossible to breath when you are that far up your own arsehole.

As you can tell, I'm having a bad day with employment issues. Not least of all because if the sort of salary I can draw for doing my sort of work was only fluctuating by +/- 3 grand a year, I'd be over the fucking moon.

Life. It's not difficult. Except for cunts.

/edit mind you this is Grim...'s thread and I'll start my own if I need to vent any more. Dude, if you are very good at what you do then g et paid very well for it if you can. I'd just sooner stab myself in the cock that haggle like that as it reduces me to a shaking mess.