Be Excellent To Each Other

Right, I need input, I am writing my speech, but I am having difficulty getting definitve answers over:
who I should thank?
who I should toast?
and in what order?

Does it matter, is there a strict protcol to follow? Is an American wedding different to a British one?

Regale me with your speeches.

I wrote 3 versions, refined the final on the morning, then left my notes on the table and freestyled it.

Forgot to thank my parents.

Thank Jesus, sony music, and kanye.

in.

(may be removed at a later stage)

Officially, you thank the bridesmaids.
I, like Riles, had to wing mine.

Writing is for pussys. Can't stand watching someone stand there reading from some long sheet of paper. Looks awful and nobody gives a toss (especially if you've made the mistake of doing the speeches before the food).

I just wrote a few small cues onto an A5 bit of paper and used that. You're the groom, no need to be clever or witty. Just thank the brides parents, the bridesmaids, your best man and thank the bride*. You can get a list off the web.

Then add some stuff and you're sorted. The father of the bride does the background part, the best man does the jokes. Your job is to thank people basically.


* Do not forget to thank the bride.

Just jotted a few cues onto an A5 bit of paper about half hour before the car arrived. Was fine and knew I would be as well.

Frankly there was other stuff on the day to worry about so the speech was the least of my worries. Went fine though.

"I'm marrying my best friend"

Speeches should always be before the food. They should also be short.

However, mine for Bobby's wedding is going to be horrible, and aims to make everyone storm out of the wedding and riot.

Bollocks to that. No fucker wants to be sitting around hungry while the speeches go on and on and on (which they so often do).

Feed the people first, get the booze down them and things are then far more relaxed. We did this and friends of ours also did this. It's just so much better.

Well being from Cornwall we should be grateful it's not your sister.

[runs]

Bollocks to that. Groom, best man, father of the bride and their significant others unable to enjoy their meal due to toying and worrying over speech, and not being able to drink with their meal for fear of slurring.

Good speeches should be short anyway so no one should be impatiently tapping their feet waiting for their free lunch on the biggest day of other people's lives.

Man, if the speech is your biggest worry of the day then I have pity. The speech was a relief and certainly neither myself, my best man or my father in-law were remotely bothered about it. Just don't remember sitting there being worried about it at all.

Presentation is a life skill these days. One time of day the only speech someone might give in their life would be their wedding day but these days that's far from the case.

What's more people have been standing around at church, standing around while photos are taken and have generally been faffed around for hours. Have the decency to feed and water them before you go on at them more.

I'm off to a wedding of an old school chum in July. The wedding venue itself is pretty pokey, so is only for immediate family and closest friends, we have been invited to the wedding breakfast and party afterwards.

Result!

who I should thank?

Everyone for coming, your wifes parents for welcoming you into the family, your parents (and other family if they had had a role). Your best man (in advance for making a nice speach about you!) Your wife for marrying you etc

Then say something nice about your wife!

who I should toast? and in what order?

Not sure you do toasts but its your day so toast your wife!

Just remember its your day and they are all on your side, keep it as short as you like but from the heart and don't do anything too dirty it never goes down well.

You can't loose what ever you say as long as its clean and in good taste, enjoy your day

One wedding I was at, the Father of the Bride went on for 26 minutes. It was hell.

hurrah for dutch weddings
bride and groom each only have to say "Ja" for the ceremony
all other stuff is optional
for our wedding my mum sang a "funny" song with my brother and grooms mum read out a little poem and that was it
imagine groom and best-man's relief

not helpful to you at all, sorry

Thanks asfish, very useful.

wrt speech timings, I wanted mine before the dinner so I could get pissed, but the timings just didn't work out, so it is after dinner.

Curio and I went to a wedding where the father of the bride spoke for ages! he went on about "how at age 5 Emma got piano grade 2, then grade 3, then grade 4, then grade 5, then grade 6, then grade 7, she didn't get grade 8, but that was because she didn't take it, but I am sure she would have should she taken it. Then she got grade 2 violin..."
Then, we were subjected to the single funniest thing I have ever encountered, "In the words of Sir Elton John: 'Can you feel the love tonight?'"
At this point, we are all laughing at the speech length, but we thought, well, this is pretty cheesy, but.... He went on to speak the entire song, in monotone. We were crying with laughter, the groom's brother spent 2 minutes tying his shoelace under the table.

Edit@ miki, sounds much better!

Having been a high-flying wedding DJ, I've seen far more wedding speeches than anyone should have to.
The worst one was when the mother of the bride did a speech because the father of the bride had died fifteen or so years ago. It started off fine, but descended into hysterical blubbering about how much her dead husband would have loved to be there, and how great he was, and how much she misses him, and how she can't go on without him, and how there's no-one else like him, and it. Went. On. For. Ages.
Full-on sobbing and hysterics, too, not just a few tears.

Christ knows what her (the mother's) fairly-recent new husband thought of the whole thing.

Rubbish Irish dancing was another bad one.

My groom speech was hilarious(ly heckled constantly by guests and family. Don't let them get drunk first)

And her parents, for the perky copulator.

I'm reasonably sure that beyond the 20th minute, you're legally entitled to shoot him with a musket.

They did Irish dancing for the groom's speech?

I amaother for speehbefore food, as some folks are worried about speeches. So they can relax and enjoy there meal.

It's a bit early to be drunk, Kov.

It is never too early to be drink... (I think I need to fix my space bar)